I want you to try something for me.

Picture a tiny flower bud. Maybe it’s lilac, or lagoon green. Whatever the color, one thing is clear: it is full of potential—and ready to open up to the world.

But when a storm surges down on it, each drop of rain is too heavy, and the petals wilt under the immense weight.

The next day, the sun does not shine. And the day after that. And the next.

Because of this, the once vibrant flower becomes shy, afraid to show its true colors as it has been profoundly distorted by the intensity of a storm.

Just as a small flower needs sunlight and gentle drops of rain to grow, a child needs encouragement and kindness to blossom and discover their true self.

Too much criticism is like a storm that hinders the growth, leaving the child feeling small and hesitant, unable to unfold into their full potential.

If you’re wondering whether you were one of these kids, who received excessive levels of criticism from their parents, here are some of the tell-tale signs.

1) Fear of failure: Being scared of making mistakes

Ever feel like you’ve got this invisible, harsh judge in your head, making you question every move?

Well, that might be the aftermath of having super critical parents.

Let me break it down for you.

Remember when you were a kid, and you brought home a drawing you were so proud of? You expected high-fives, but instead, you got told that the sun looked like a lemon. Ouch.

Fast forward to adulting, and you still carry that fear of messing up.

Recognizing this fear is the first step. You gotta ask yourself, “Am I really failing, or am I just learning?”

So, loosen that grip on perfection and let yourself shine, mistakes and all.

2) Feeling unheard: Not being truly seen or heard

That feeling of not being heard—we’ve all been there.

What if I told you it could be a sneaky sign that you might’ve been raised by some seriously critical parents?

This is because critical parents often have this knack for not really tuning in to what you’re saying.

It’s like they have a built-in filter that screens out your thoughts and feelings.

Ever felt like you were pouring your heart out and got hit with a “Hmm, interesting” or a dismissive nod? Yeah, that’s the vibe.

It’s like they are invalidating your emotions.

Recognizing these patterns is like unlocking the first level of the game.

3) Comparing yourself to others: Experiencing a sense of inadequacy

Unfairly comparing yourself to others is not innocent curiosity, it can be a sign saying, “My parents were my biggest critics.”

So, why does this happen?

Well, when your folks are the human version of a red pen, circling every mistake in your life, you grow up thinking your value is tied to others.

Your achievements aren’t celebrated, instead, they’re put under a microscope.

Having a B when the neighbor’s kid got an A? Crisis mode activated because your parents set the bar at “perfection.”

But hey, don’t panic. It’s good to have a reality check and know that we are all on our own journeys—your worth isn’t measured by how well others are doing.

4) Awkward with compliments: Finding it hard to accept praise

Ever had someone give you a compliment, and instead of basking in it you end up doing an awkward dance of self-doubt?

I get it—been there, done that!

But have you ever stopped to wonder if your compliment reflex is a result of growing up with parents who were heavy with the criticism?

It’s like your brain has a default setting of self-doubt because, let’s face it, your parents always highlighted what you could do better.

It’s no wonder you find it hard to believe someone when they say you did a good job.

Remember, you actually do those compliments, and it’s time to break free from the pain of your childhood.

5) Sensitive to criticism: Having a tough time taking criticism from others

We all have those moments when someone gives us feedback, and instead of being all cool about it, we feel like we’re back in the hot seat with our parents.

Deep down, that inner critic had your parent’s face.

Someone tries to give you feedback at work, and suddenly, it’s not just about the project—it’s about your entire existence being judged!

Now, why is this happening? Well, your brain is wired to equate criticism with impending doom because, back in the day, your parents made it feel like the end of the world.

Let’s be real. Who wouldn’t be sensitive to criticism after growing up in that kind of environment?

It’s like trying to shake off a childhood shadow that’s constantly whispering, “You’re not good enough.”

6) Boundary struggles: Finding it challenging to set personal boundaries

When you’ve spent your formative years tiptoeing around someone else’s expectations, setting limits becomes a huge task.

You might find yourself saying yes to everything, afraid that a simple “no” will unleash the parental judgment.

This is because as a child you learned that your parents did not respect your boundaries. Which is a very sad thing.

But here’s the kicker—setting boundaries is a necessary part of adult life, and you now have the power and agency to enforce them. Not like when you were a kid.

Start setting those boundaries, and watch as your mental health becomes full of self-respect and sanity.

7) Difficulty trusting others: Struggling to trust those around you

Trust issues are often an unwanted side effect of having parents who were masters at criticism.

It’s as if they installed a filter in your brain that’s always questioning other people’s motives.

You turn into a detective, dissecting every word and action, searching for hidden meanings.

Not because you want to be a human lie detector, it’s just that your upbringing primed you to be like this.

Recognizing that your trust struggles might have roots in your critical upbringing won’t fix everything overnight, but hey, it’s a start!

Remember to surround yourself with people who build you up. Trust me, life gets a whole lot better when you usher a little trust in!

8) People-pleasing habits: Putting your own needs and desires behind that of others

Ever notice how sometimes you end up saying “yes” to everything, even when you secretly want to shout “NO!”?

Well, it might be indicative that your upbringing was a bit too heavy on the critical vibes.

Sure, we all want to be liked… that’s human nature. But when your default mode is pleasing others at the expense of your own happiness, we’ve got a problem.

Why does it all loop back to critical parents?

Well, think about it. If your growing-up days were all about every move being under a microscope, you’d likely develop pretty strong people-pleasing skills to dodge any criticism, right?

So, if you catch yourself doing the people-pleasing thing, ask yourself what you really want, and go ahead, put your own desires first for once.

9) Avoidance of conflict: Trying to keep the peace at all cost

Wanting peace is totally legit. But when you’re dancing around potential conflicts like they’re potential explosives, it might be a sign to reflect on your childhood.

If your parents were the type to scrutinize every decision you made, you learned to dodge the drama.

Peace and quiet seemed way better than facing the parental critique.

But here’s the upside to your avoidance strategy: you’re probably a top-tier mediator and peacekeeper.

Finding common ground and making everyone feel heard? That’s what you’re good at.

10) Expressing Emotions is Tricky: Having difficulty openly expressing your emotion

Expressing emotions becomes a tightrope act because you’ve been trained from a young age to fear judgment.

Excitement over a crush or disappointment about a missed goal? Cue the internal debate on whether your emotions are too much or too little.

Your emotional vocabulary gets a bit stunted in the critical parent loop.

Feelings turned into something to be analyzed, measured, and, if possible, improved. Emotional expression became this skill you never quite mastered.

As an adult, it’s important to try and break free and express yourself. You’re not a robot—you’re a human being!

Final thoughts

To sum things up, growing up with critical parents is like enduring a storm that forever impacts our emotions.

Recognizing signs of this upbringing is a chance to rewrite our story. Just as a flower needs sunlight, we crave encouragement to be our true selves.

Each sign, like fear of failure, is a hurdle to overcome. Setting boundaries and embracing self-love become tools for growth.

We learn that mistakes are stepping stones, compliments are genuine, and expressing emotions is vital.

Remember, the storm shaped us but it doesn’t define us.