Reflecting on our childhood can sometimes reveal some uncomfortable truths. One of these might be the realization that you were overly criticized as a child.

Psychology tells us that constant criticism during our formative years can have long-lasting effects.

In this article, we’re going to explore 8 signs that you might have experienced this type of negative environment as a kid. And let’s be clear, my aim here isn’t to point fingers or lay blame.

Instead, it’s about helping you understand why you might have certain behaviors or thought patterns now, and to let you know that it’s possible to move forward, even after a challenging start in life.

1) You’re a perfectionist

Perfectionism can be a trait that drives us to achieve great things. But it can also be a symptom of having been overly criticized as a child.

According to psychology, children who were constantly criticized may turn into adults who strive for perfection in everything they do.

The reason?

They’re trying to avoid the negative feedback they’ve come to expect.

You may find that you have an excessive fear of making mistakes, or that you’re always pushing yourself to do better, even when you’ve already done well.

This isn’t about being ambitious. It’s about a deep-seated fear of not being good enough because that’s the message you received as a child.

But the truth is, no one is perfect. And that’s okay.

If you’re recognizing this trait in yourself, it might be time to start exploring ways to let go of those unrealistic expectations and embrace your perfectly imperfect self.

2) You’re overly self-critical

This one hits close to home for me.

Throughout my life, I’ve often found myself trapped in a cycle of self-criticism.

For the longest time, I couldn’t understand why I was so hard on myself. It wasn’t until I started studying psychology that I began to connect the dots.

Growing up, I was faced with constant criticism. Every mistake, every mishap, was met with harsh words and disappointment.

As a result, I internalized that criticism and began to apply it to myself.

I would berate myself for minor errors at work, replay awkward social interactions over and over in my head, and even criticize myself for things beyond my control.

If you find yourself facing a similar pattern of self-criticism, it could be a sign that you were overly criticized as a child.

If so, remember that it’s not your fault. It’s simply a learned behavior that can be unlearned with time and practice.

3) You struggle with decision-making

Have you ever found yourself paralyzed at the thought of making a decision?

Even the simplest choices can feel like a battle, and the fear of making the wrong one can be overwhelming.

Psychologists have found a correlation between individuals who were heavily criticized as children and difficulties in decision-making later in life.

This could stem from the fact that each decision, no matter how small, carries the weight of potential criticism or failure.

This constant fear of disapproval or making a mistake can hinder our ability to trust our own judgment.

So if you’re struggling with decision-making, it’s worth noting that it’s okay to make mistakes – it’s part of being human and it’s how we grow.

4) You have low self-esteem

Self-esteem is the value we assign to ourselves. It’s how we perceive our own worth.

For those who were overly criticized as a child, self-esteem can often be low.

You might find it hard to accept compliments or believe in your abilities, even when others clearly see your talents and strengths.

You might constantly compare yourself to others and feel like you always come up short.

The negative feedback you received as a child can create a lasting imprint on your self-image.

To overcome this, remember that your worth is not defined by other people’s criticism.

You are valuable just as you are. It’s never too late to start rebuilding your self-esteem.

5) You’re always trying to please others

When your childhood is filled with criticism, you might find yourself going to great lengths to avoid that negative feedback.

This often manifests as a constant need to please others or a fear of letting people down.

You might be the one who always says “yes”, even when you want to say “no”.

You may constantly worry about what others think of you, and you might bend over backwards just to make someone else happy, even at the expense of your own needs and feelings.

I know how heavy this burden can feel. It’s like you’re constantly walking on eggshells, afraid that one wrong move will disappoint someone.

It’s okay to put yourself first sometimes. Your feelings are just as important as anyone else’s. You deserve to be happy too.

6) You’re extremely sensitive to criticism

Whenever someone offers me feedback, even if it’s constructive, I feel a knot in my stomach.

Instantly, I’m transported back to being a young child, being nitpicked at for every tiny mistake.

If you can relate to this feeling, it might be another sign that you were overly criticized growing up.

This heightened sensitivity towards criticism is a defense mechanism, built over years of dealing with harsh words and constant disapproval.

One thing I’ve learned is that criticism isn’t always a bad thing. It’s all about perspective.

Not all feedback is a personal attack; sometimes it’s just intended to help us improve and grow.

It’s not easy shaking off that initial sting, but with time and practice, it becomes more manageable.

7) You have difficulty expressing emotions

Children who are routinely criticized may learn to suppress their emotions as a means of self-defense.

If showing anger, sadness, or even joy led to negative reactions in the past, it’s likely that over time, you learned to keep your feelings to yourself.

As an adult, this can translate into difficulty expressing emotions.

You might find it hard to open up to others, or even to understand and articulate your own feelings.

This emotional suppression isn’t healthy in the long run. Emotions are a part of being human and they need to be acknowledged and expressed.

It’s okay to feel, and it’s okay to let others know how you’re feeling.

8) You’re stuck in a cycle of self-doubt

The most impactful sign that you were overly criticized as a child is a deep-rooted sense of self-doubt.

When you’re constantly told you’re wrong, or not good enough, it’s easy to start believing it.

You might:

• Second-guess yourself constantly
• Doubt your abilities
• Struggle with feelings of worthlessness

You might also believe you’re destined to fail, even before you try.

Remember, your past does not define your future. It’s possible to break free from this cycle of self-doubt.

You are capable, you are enough, and it’s okay to believe in yourself.

In conclusion: Healing begins with understanding

The complex dynamics of our childhood experiences often leave an indelible mark on our adult lives.

Overly criticized children may carry the weight of that criticism into adulthood, manifesting in various signs and behaviors.

If you identify with these signs, remember – it’s not your fault.

You are not the words that were spoken to you or the criticism you received. You are more than that.

Understanding these signs is the first step towards healing. It helps you recognize patterns that no longer serve you and allows you to start rewriting your own narrative.

Whether it’s seeking therapy, joining a support group, or practicing self-care, each step you take is a step towards a healthier and happier you.