Understanding love, especially the kind we received as children, can be a tricky thing.

For some of us, we might not even realize what true unconditional love looks like until we’re adults.

This love is the kind that accepts us as we are, no matter our faults or mistakes.

In this article, I’m going to share with you nine signs that you, lucky reader, were loved unconditionally as a child.

These are little clues that your parents or caregivers truly had your back, and loved you for who you were – not for what you did or didn’t do.

This isn’t about blame or guilt.

It’s about understanding and appreciating the love that shaped us. 

1) You were given freedom to make mistakes

One of the most significant signs of unconditional love from your childhood is the freedom to make mistakes.

Think back to those times when you messed up – maybe you broke a glass, or didn’t do well on a test.

How did your parents or caregivers react?

Did they scold and punish, or did they help you understand what went wrong and encourage you to learn from it?

When you’re allowed to make mistakes without fear of reprisal, it’s a strong indicator that you were loved unconditionally.

The message was clear – they loved you, not your performance or perfection.

And that love didn’t waver even when you messed up.

This kind of environment fosters growth and resilience, allowing us to learn from our errors rather than being paralyzed by fear of failure.

It’s a powerful gift, and one that’s rooted in unconditional love.

2) You were encouraged to express your emotions

I’ll never forget this one time when I was about seven years old.

I’d had a rough day at school – I think I’d gotten into a disagreement with a friend, and it was really weighing on me.

When I got home that day, I remember my mom could tell something was off.

Instead of brushing it off or telling me to cheer up, she sat down with me and asked me to share what was going on.

I was upset, and started crying as I told her the whole story.

Instead of dismissing my feelings or telling me it wasn’t a big deal, she comforted me.

She told me it was okay to feel upset, that my feelings were valid.

That’s one of many examples from my childhood where I felt safe to express my emotions, no matter what they were.

This kind of emotional openness is another sign of unconditional love.

My parents gave me the space to feel and express myself without judgment or dismissal, which helped me grow into an emotionally healthy adult.

3) Your interests were supported

Did you know that children who are encouraged to pursue their interests develop a higher level of competence, confidence, and self-esteem?

It’s true.

In my case, I was fortunate enough to have parents who supported my interests, no matter how fleeting or obscure.

Whether I was into painting, soccer, or bird watching, they were always there to cheer me on and provide the resources I needed.

Supporting a child’s interests shows them that their passions and hobbies are important, which in turn helps them feel seen, valued, and loved unconditionally.

This kind of encouragement allows children the freedom to explore their identities and passions without fear of judgment or rejection.

4) They respected your boundaries

Respecting a child’s boundaries is a significant indicator of unconditional love.

This respect could range from acknowledging a closed door to understanding when you needed time alone.

When parents or caregivers respect a child’s boundaries, they’re essentially telling the child, “I respect you as an individual.”

This helps the child feel valued and seen, fostering a sense of security and self-worth.

Boundary setting is also crucial for developing healthy relationships later in life.

If our boundaries were respected as children, we’re more likely to understand and assert them as adults. 

5) They were there for you

Unconditional love isn’t just about grand gestures and big moments; it’s also about the small, everyday acts of care that show someone is there for you, no matter what.

Did your parents or caregivers show up to your school events?

Were they there to soothe you when you had a nightmare?

Did they listen when you talked about your day?

These moments may seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things, but they’re the building blocks of unconditional love.

Consistency and presence are crucial for a child’s sense of security and well-being. 

6) They loved you in your worst moments

Unconditional love shines brightest in our darkest hours.

It’s easy to love someone when they’re at their best, but true, unconditional love stays steady even when we’re at our worst.

Think back to the moments when you were difficult, upset, or just plain wrong.

Were your parents or caregivers still there for you, loving you despite your flaws and faults?

If they were able to express their love and care for you even during your worst moments – through a bad grade, a rebellious phase or a massive mistake – that’s a testament to their unconditional love for you.

It’s in these difficult times that we truly understand the depth and strength of their love. 

7) They encouraged your independence

I can recall vividly a time when I was about to embark on my first sleepover at a friend’s house.

I was around 10 years old and feeling a mix of excitement and anxiety.

My parents could have easily let me off the hook and allowed me to stay home.

Instead, they encouraged me to go, assuring me that they would be just a phone call away if I needed them.

This was more than just a sleepover.

It was an opportunity for me to learn independence, and it was made possible because my parents loved me enough to let me step out of my comfort zone.

They knew that fostering my independence was an essential part of my growth.

Encouraging independence in a child is a clear sign of unconditional love.

It shows that the parents or caregivers believe in the child’s abilities and are willing to support them as they navigate the world on their own.

8) They listened to you

Listening is a powerful act of love.

When your parents or caregivers listened to you – I mean really listened, without interrupting or dismissing – they were showing you unconditional love.

Listening to a child’s thoughts, feelings, and ideas conveys that their voice matters.

It instills in them a sense of self-worth and validation that they carry into adulthood.

If your parents took the time to listen to you, to understand your perspective and consider your opinions, it’s a sign that they loved you unconditionally.

They respected you enough to value your input and made you feel heard and understood. 

9) They loved you for who you are

The most important sign that you were loved unconditionally as a child?

They loved you for who you are – not for what you did, what you achieved, or how you behaved, but simply for being you.

This kind of love does not hinge on conditions or expectations.

It’s the kind of love that sees and accepts all parts of you – your strengths, your weaknesses, your quirks, and everything in between.

If your parents or caregivers loved you in this way, it’s the ultimate sign of unconditional love.

It’s the kind of love that empowers us to be ourselves and to love ourselves just as we are.

And it’s the kind of love we carry with us into our adult lives, shaping how we see ourselves and how we relate to others.

Love is transformational

At the heart of these signs of unconditional love is the profound impact that such love has on a child’s development and self-perception.

Children who experience unconditional love from their parents or caregivers are more likely to develop a healthy sense of self-esteem, demonstrate empathy and kindness towards others, and maintain strong, positive relationships in adulthood.

If you recognized these signs in your own childhood, it’s likely you have experienced the transformative power of unconditional love firsthand.

This kind of love shapes us, molds us, and stays with us long into our adult lives.

It’s the foundation upon which we build our understanding of ourselves and our relationships with others.

So take a moment to reflect on this, on the signs you’ve recognized from your own childhood.

And remember, whether you’re a parent now or may be one in the future, the greatest gift you can offer a child is your unconditional love.