8 signs you need to let go of someone you love, according to psychology

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | September 11, 2024, 1:06 pm

Letting someone you love go is never easy. But sometimes, it’s necessary for your emotional health and personal growth.

Psychology, with its understanding of human emotions and relationships, can provide tell-tale signs that it’s time to step back.

In this article, I’ll guide you through 8 key indications that you might need to let go of someone you hold dear. Trust me, it’s not about giving up, it’s about moving forward.

So, let’s dive into the science of love, loss, and the art of moving on.

1) Constant negativity

Love is meant to uplift, not bring you down.

Experiencing constant negativity in a relationship is a clear indication that something needs to change. This might include frequent arguments, feeling drained, or noticing that your self-esteem has taken a hit.

Our close relationships should ideally provide support, positivity, and happiness. If instead, you find yourself constantly stressed, it might be time to reassess.

Remember, it’s not about blaming the other person. It’s about acknowledging the impact the relationship is having on you and deciding what’s best for your emotional health.

It’s tough, but sometimes letting go is the courageous step to take.

2) Unresolved issues

In any relationship, problems are inevitable. It’s how we deal with them that matters.

Take it from me, unresolved issues can create a chasm in even the strongest of relationships. About four years ago, I was in a relationship where communication breakdown became the norm. We swept our issues under the rug, hoping they would disappear on their own.

However, unresolved issues lead to resentment and detachment over time. They acted like a slow poison, eroding our bond bit by bit until there was nothing left to save.

So, if you find yourself in a similar situation where issues are brushed aside instead of being confronted and resolved, it might be a sign that it’s time to let go.

It’s not easy, but trust me, it’s healthier than holding on to a relationship filled with unsaid words and unresolved issues.

3) Emotional unavailability

Emotional availability is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. It involves being receptive to your partner’s feelings as well as expressing your own.

Interestingly, research has shown that emotional unavailability can often stem from past traumatic experiences or unresolved emotional issues.

If you find your loved one consistently distant, detached, or unable to engage in emotional intimacy, it might be an indication that they are emotionally unavailable. This can be incredibly draining for you over time and may lead to feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction.

Recognizing this sign is crucial because no amount of love can compensate for a lack of emotional connection. Sometimes, letting go becomes the only viable option.

4) Lack of trust

Trust forms the backbone of any relationship. It’s the invisible thread that holds two people together, even when things are tough.

But what happens when that thread breaks?

If you find yourself constantly doubting your loved one’s actions or words, or if they show signs of mistrust towards you, it may be a clear signal that something is amiss. Trust, once broken, is hard to rebuild.

Psychology stresses the importance of trust in maintaining healthy relationships. Without it, suspicion and insecurity can creep in, creating a breeding ground for conflict and unhappiness.

Sometimes, despite our best efforts, trust can’t be reestablished. In such cases, it might be healthier to let go and move forward.

5) Life goals don’t align

In the journey of love, it’s important for two people to walk together towards shared dreams and aspirations.

But what if your paths are diverging instead of converging? What if your life goals and your loved one’s are poles apart?

If you find yourself constantly compromising on your dreams, or if your loved one is unwilling to align their future with yours, it might be time to reassess.

Psychology emphasizes the importance of compatibility in long-term relationships. Having divergent life goals can lead to resentment, frustration, and a constant feeling of being stuck.

It’s essential to grow together in a relationship, not apart. And sometimes, letting go is the only way to ensure both individuals can pursue their own paths freely.

6) You’re not happy anymore

This might seem obvious, but it’s often the most overlooked sign. Happiness is the essence of love and the reason we form bonds with others.

It’s not uncommon to find ourselves so entangled in the complexity of a relationship that we forget to ask a simple question: Am I happy?

If you find yourself constantly unhappy, anxious, or stressed in your relationship, take a moment to reflect. Relationships should bring joy, comfort, and a sense of belonging.

Our emotional well-being is paramount. It’s okay to choose your happiness over a relationship that drains you.

7) You’re always making excuses for them

Have you ever found yourself constantly making excuses for your loved one’s behavior? I have.

There was a time when I was constantly justifying my partner’s actions, not only to others but also to myself. The harsh truth was that I was trying to mask the fact that they were not treating me right.

Psychology warns us that constant excuse-making can be a sign of denial. It’s a way of avoiding the painful reality that the relationship is not healthy.

When you love someone, you tend to see the best in them. But it’s essential to remember that love shouldn’t blind us to the point where we ignore our self-worth.

It’s okay to let go if you find yourself in a situation where you’re always making excuses for someone else’s behavior.

8) You’re holding on out of fear

The most profound realization often comes when you understand that you’re holding onto a relationship more out of fear than love. Fear of being alone, fear of uncertainty, or fear of hurting the other person.

Psychology teaches us that decisions made out of fear rarely lead to happiness. Love should be about mutual respect, joy, and growth, not fear.

If you identify with this, it’s crucial to muster the courage to face your fears. It’s okay to choose yourself, and it’s okay to step into the unknown.

Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is to let go.

Final thoughts: It’s about self-love

At the heart of it all, making the decision to let go of someone you love has a lot to do with self-love.

Psychology emphasizes the importance of maintaining our emotional health and prioritizing our well-being. And sometimes, this requires us to make difficult decisions.

The renowned psychologist, Carl Rogers, once said, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.” This acceptance includes acknowledging when a relationship may no longer be serving you, despite the love you may have for the person.

Letting go isn’t about devaluing the past or harboring ill feelings. It’s about giving yourself permission to prioritize your happiness, your peace, and your personal growth.

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