7 signs you love someone who doesn’t feel the same way, according to psychology

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | June 20, 2024, 6:36 pm

We’ve all been there.

Heart fluttering every time your phone buzzes, hoping it’s their name popping up on the screen.

Spending hours dissecting their every word, every glance, searching for some hidden meaning.

The constant yearning, the sleepless nights – you’re smitten, and it’s all-consuming.

But what if those feelings aren’t reciprocated? What if the person you’re hopelessly devoted to doesn’t feel the same way about you?

It’s a harsh reality that many of us face.

So, how can you tell?

Psychology offers some insightful pointers. In this article, we’ll explore the signs that you might love someone who doesn’t feel the same way.

1) You initiate most of the communication

Let’s face it.

It’s always you who texts first, calls first, or even arranges for the meet-ups.

When you look at your chat history, you notice that the majority of the messages are from you. You’re always the one reaching out, trying to keep the conversation alive.

Sure, they respond – but they’re not initiating.

This is a clear sign that your feelings might not be reciprocated because communication is a two-way street.

If you’re doing all the work to keep the connection alive, it might be time to rethink things. 

2) The relationship is mostly on their terms

Now, this one really hits home for me.

I remember being in a relationship where I was always the one adjusting. Whether it was about when we met, where we went, or what we did – it was always about what suited them.

They’d often cancel plans at the last minute, leaving me disappointed. I found myself constantly accommodating their preferences, even if it meant compromising my comfort or happiness.

This, my friend, is a classic sign of unrequited feelings.

If you always find yourself bending over backward to fit into their schedule or meet their needs without the same level of consideration in return, you might be in a one-sided love situation.

When your feelings are reciprocated, there’s compromise from both sides. It’s not just about one person’s comfort or convenience. It’s about mutual respect and understanding. 

3) You’re always the cheerleader, never the player

Let me paint a picture for you.

You’re standing on the sidelines, rooting for them at every turn. You celebrate their achievements, console them in their failures, and stand by them through thick and thin. You’re their biggest fan, their shoulder to lean on, their constant support system.

But when it’s your turn to step into the spotlight, you find them missing from the stands.

It’s tough, isn’t it?

Being there for someone who isn’t there for you in the same way can be an overwhelming and lonely experience. It’s one of the most painful signs that your affection might be a one-way street.

In a healthy relationship, support should be reciprocal. If you’re always in the supporting role without receiving similar encouragement or understanding when you need it, it’s high time to reconsider if this is the kind of love you truly want or deserve.

4) You crave for their validation

Think about this.

Do you find yourself constantly seeking their approval? Are you overly concerned about their opinion of you? Do you alter your behavior, your decisions, or even your appearance based on what you think they would like?

That’s a red flag.

Constantly craving for someone’s validation is not an indication of love but rather insecurity. It’s a sign that you might be more invested in this relationship than they are.

In a balanced, loving relationship, you should feel accepted and appreciated for who you are. If you’re always striving for their validation, it may indicate unrequited feelings in the relationship.

Remember, it’s essential to stay true to yourself in any relationship. Don’t lose sight of your worth trying to win someone over.

5) They’re absent in your time of need

Picture this.

You’ve had a rough day at work, or you received some unsettling news. You reach out to them, hoping for a comforting word or two.

But they’re unavailable, distant, or indifferent to your emotional state.

Interestingly, the way someone responds to our distress is a key indicator of their feelings towards us.

If they consistently fail to provide emotional support when you need it, it might be a sign that their feelings don’t run as deep as yours.

In a reciprocal relationship, both parties should be there for each other during rough patches.

If they’re missing in action when things get tough, it could indicate that you love someone who doesn’t feel the same way.

6) Their actions don’t match their words

Many of us have been in situations where we’ve held onto every sweet word, and every promise made, only to be left disappointed by actions that tell a different story.

If they’re always saying the right things but their actions rarely back up their words, it could be a sign that your feelings are more intense than theirs.

Because actions speak louder than words. It’s easy to make promises, but what truly matters is the effort one puts in to fulfill them.

Be gentle with yourself and remember it’s okay to question the discrepancy between someone’s words and actions. After all, you deserve a love that is not just spoken, but also shown.

7) You feel more pain than joy

Here’s the bottom line.

If your relationship with this person causes you more pain than joy, it’s a clear sign that your feelings might be unrequited.

Frequent feelings of rejection, disappointment, or loneliness are not hallmarks of a loving, reciprocal relationship.

If your interactions with them often leave you feeling upset or drained, it’s time to reevaluate.

Love should bring happiness and fulfillment, not constant heartache. Listen to your feelings – they’re trying to tell you something important.

Final thoughts

If these signs hit close to home, know that you’re not alone.

It can be a harsh realization to come to terms with – loving someone who doesn’t feel the same way.

But know this – it doesn’t define your worth or your capacity to love.

Recognizing these signs is the first step toward healing and self-discovery. It’s okay to feel hurt but remember not to lose yourself in the process. You are more than your feelings for this person.

Even if romantic love can be an addiction, we can take control over our addictions – so long as we try.