Life is not about merely surviving life’s various challenges, but thriving despite them.

But there there is one key ingredient we need in this journey to thrive…

Emotional resilience – the ability to adapt and bounce back when things don’t go as planned.

Having emotional resilience doesn’t mean you’re impervious to stress or pain, but rather, it’s about your ability to cope with adversity and recover quickly from it.

Psychology suggests that people with remarkable emotional resilience share common traits.

These traits could be innate, but they can also be cultivated and developed over time.

So, how do you know if you’re emotionally resilient?

I’m here to share 9 signs that you might just have more emotional resilience than you think.

1) You adapt well to change

Adapting to change isn’t always easy. In fact, it can often be a frightening and overwhelming experience.

Yet, those with emotional resilience seem to navigate these uncharted waters with surprising prowess.

This doesn’t mean they love change or seek it out for the sake of it.

It’s more about how they respond when change is thrust upon them.

You might find yourself embracing new circumstances rather than resisting or fearing them.

Perhaps you’ve experienced a major life shift – like a career change, a move, or even a global pandemic – and realized you handled it better than you thought you would.

This could mean you’re more emotionally resilient than you give yourself credit for.

Adaptability is one of the hallmarks of emotional resilience, as it shows an ability to maintain equilibrium when faced with new and potentially challenging situations.

2) You practice self-care

Self-care is more than just a trendy buzzword. It’s a vital aspect of maintaining emotional health and resilience.

This isn’t just about indulging in bubble baths or treating yourself to a spa day – though these can certainly be part of it.

Self-care, at its core, is about recognizing your own needs and giving yourself permission to meet them. It could mean:

• Ensuring you get enough sleep
• Eating a balanced diet
• Setting aside time each day for relaxation and decompression

You might find that you’re naturally good at setting boundaries to protect your time and energy.

Perhaps you instinctively prioritize your physical health, knowing that it directly impacts your emotional wellbeing.

This intrinsic understanding and practice of self-care could be a strong indicator of your emotional resilience.

By taking care of your physical and emotional needs, you’re equipping yourself with the tools needed to combat stress and bounce back from adversity.

3) You’re not afraid of failure

Failure is often seen as something to be avoided at all costs.

However, if you find yourself viewing failure as an opportunity for growth rather than a dead-end, you might be more emotionally resilient than you realize.

Rather than letting failure discourage you, you might see it as a learning experience.

You understand that it’s not about the number of times you fall, but the number of times you get back up and try again.

This perspective allows you to transform failures into stepping stones towards success.

It’s a clear indication of emotional resilience because it shows that you can handle setbacks and come out stronger on the other side.

4) You allow yourself to feel pain

It might sound odd, but one of the strongest signs of emotional resilience is the ability to allow yourself to feel pain.

In a world where we’re often told to “keep a stiff upper lip” or “push through,” acknowledging and accepting your pain can be a radical act of self-care.

You understand that feeling pain doesn’t make you weak or broken. Instead, it makes you human.

Therefore, you don’t shy away from your emotions or try to suppress them.

Instead, you allow yourself to feel them, process them, and then let them go.

This willingness to face your pain rather than run from it is a clear sign of emotional resilience.

It shows that you have the strength and courage to confront your feelings head-on, no matter how uncomfortable they may be.

5) You show compassion for others

Emotional resilience isn’t just about how we handle our own struggles, it’s also about how we respond to the hardships of others.

If you find yourself naturally empathizing with people and showing kindness even in challenging circumstances, it’s a strong indication of your emotional resilience.

You don’t just sympathize – you empathize.

You make an effort to understand other people’s perspectives and feelings.

This doesn’t mean you take on their problems as your own, but rather, you offer support and understanding without judgment.

This compassionate approach to others shows that you’re able to handle emotional challenges with grace and understanding, a key aspect of emotional resilience.

It shows your ability to remain kind and considerate, even when faced with emotionally charged situations.

6) You know when to ask for help

We’ve all been there – faced with a problem that feels too big to handle on our own.

If you’ve found yourself in these circumstances and recognized that it’s okay to seek help, give yourself a pat on the back.

It’s a sign of emotional resilience.

You understand that asking for help doesn’t mean you’re weak or incapable.

It means you’re strong enough to acknowledge when you don’t have all the answers, and humble enough to reach out to those who might.

Whether it’s asking a friend for advice, seeking professional help from a therapist, or simply having the courage to say “I can’t do this alone,” knowing when to ask for help is a testament to your emotional strength and resilience.

It shows that you’re not letting pride or fear stand in the way of your wellbeing.

7) You find humor in tough situations

Life can get pretty serious at times, can’t it?

But if you’re someone who manages to find a ray of humor even in challenging situations, you’ve got a special kind of resilience in you.

You might be the person who cracks a joke when the tension is high, or the one who can laugh at yourself when things go wrong. 

By doing this, you’re not ignoring or dismissing your problems, but are lightening the mood and keeping things in perspective.

This ability to laugh in the face of adversity is a strong sign of emotional resilience.

It shows that you can handle stress and not let it consume you, and that’s definitely something to smile about!

8) You don’t play the victim

Life can be unfair, throwing us curveballs when we least expect them.

But if you’re someone who refuses to play the victim, no matter what life throws at you, then you’re displaying a strong sign of emotional resilience.

You understand that while you can’t always control what happens to you, you can control how you react.

Instead of dwelling on the unfairness of a situation, you focus on what you can do to change it, learn from it, or grow because of it.

This refusal to wallow in self-pity and adopt a victim mentality shows your inner strength and resilience.

It proves that you’re not easily knocked down by adversity and are determined to rise above your challenges.

9) You believe in your ability to cope

At the heart of emotional resilience lies a deep-rooted belief in your own ability to cope.

No matter the ups and downs that life throws at you, you have an unwavering faith in your strength and capabilities.

You may not always know exactly how you’re going to get through a tough situation, but you trust that you will find a way.

You understand that you have weathered storms before, and this gives you confidence that you can handle whatever comes next.

Believing in yourself is the most crucial aspect of emotional resilience.

It’s this belief that fuels your ability to:

• Adapt
• Learn from failure
• Face pain
• Show compassion
• Ask for help when needed

So believe in your resilience.

Believe in your ability to bounce back. Because you are stronger than you think.

Final thoughts on emotional resilience

To sum it all up, emotional resilience is a powerful tool that can help us navigate the ups and downs of life.

It gives us the courage to face our feelings, learn from our experiences, and keep moving forward.

As Dr. Susan David, a psychologist at Harvard Medical School, aptly puts it: “Emotional agility is a skill set that builds resilience. It’s not about ignoring difficult emotions and thoughts. It’s about holding those emotions and thoughts loosely, facing them courageously and compassionately, and then moving past them to ignite change in your life.”

So take some time to reflect on these signs. Are they present in your life?

How have they helped you navigate through difficult situations?

Most importantly, how can you nurture them further?

We all have the capacity for increase our emotional resilience. It’s a journey of self-discovery and growth – one that is uniquely yours.

So embrace it with open arms, for you are stronger than you think.