Empathy could be a double-edged sword. Without it, the world is a cold, dark place. Too much of it and the world is too much all at once.

And yet, it’s necessary, it’s one of the things that makes us human. It’s what allows us to connect with others, to understand their pain, to understand their story. 

By its very definition, empathy is “the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another.”

Empathy is the common thread that can bind us all. 

However, I did say that it could be a double-edged sword, right? You can be more empathetic than the average person and this can make navigating life a little differently (read: overwhelming). 

Let’s talk about that.

Here are 10 signs you have more empathy than the average person, according to psychology.

1) People RUN to you for advice

A strong sign that you’re more empathetic than average is if people around you run to you for advice. 

People feel safe in your presence and even strangers find themselves opening up to you. 

Now, while it feels nice to be remembered for being reliable, this could potentially be a cause for overwhelm. People will take and take from you if you’ll let them. 

2) You get overwhelmed easily

It’s already a given for empathetic people to get overwhelmed in crowds, but that’s not the only place that this happens, right?

Even in a room with only one other person in it, if the energy is off, the overwhelm can still happen. 

And it could be the negative kind.

3) You’re almost too understanding of people

Being understanding comes with the territory of empathy, you can see where people are coming from, you understand why they do what they do. And sometimes, even if they’ve caused you pain, you forgive easily. 

It’s admirable to be gentle with people, but it’s a disservice to oneself to continuously believe the good in others even if they show you just how not good they are. 

As a fellow empathetic person, this was a hard lesson to learn: to not rely on who people could be, but instead believe in who they are and what they show you. 

4) You have poor boundaries

So, a recap on boundaries: Boundaries are lines we set to keep ourselves safe and comfortable. It dictates what we allow. It lets other people know what we accept or tolerate. 

In your quest to constantly be the type of person who would help (and help and help and help…) others, congratulations, you now have poor boundaries. 

You have trouble saying no. You always think, “If I don’t help them, who will?” and that may be true, but you also need to leave some for yourself. In the wise words of author Paulo Coelho, “When you say ‘yes’ to others, make sure you’re not saying ‘no’ to yourself.”

Keep that in your back pocket, will you?

5) You need time to “recharge”

An obvious sign that you have more empathy than the average person is when you need time to “recharge”. 

Life just gets too much and too soon sometimes, right? And no one can fault you if you need a little timeout. Alone time is important to you, it’s essential for you to be able to function at 100%

Otherwise, you will just feel like you’re being drained, on and on and on, like one long burden. 

6) You have, even at some point in your life, categorized people based on how much they drain you

Even subconsciously, you’ve categorized some people as energy-depleting. That, as much as you love them, they just drain your energy so much. 

In reverse, you have people you can peacefully coexist with for extended periods of time because they just bring you comfort and peace. In a way, their energy matches yours. 

7) You have a profound connection to nature

You’re probably the type of person who loves being outdoors. It could be a hike, a walk in the park, a quiet retreat in a tiny house in the woods, or maybe a trip to the beach. 

The city is loud enough as it is, and as someone who has more empathy than the average person, you love the time away from the overload and stimulation. 

Being in nature heals you—it’s also a bonus that being in nature is helpful to our mental health.

8) You have a deep love for animals

Adding to the point above of being enamored with nature, you share the same love for animals, and it’s not just cats and dogs with you either.

You love all animals. 

You are enamored by their kind and comforting nature. You form a bond with them. You probably have had and still have a pet that you treat like family. 

Author of “Empath’s Survival Guide” Dr. Judith Orloff says this about the subject, “Though all people with loving hearts can feel their goodness, empaths are especially sensitive to absorbing the pure unconditional love that cats and dogs and other animal companions so generously bestow.

It is very soothing for empaths to be around that love. Wild creatures exude power and grandeur, a bit of a different energy, that can be very vitalizing too. Empaths often find people difficult and harsh whereas loving animal companions nurture them.”

9) Your intuition is crazy good

Another strong sign of a higher-than-average empathy is a crazy good intuition. 

You’re sensitive to danger and are often the first one to feel when things are going wrong. Your gut instincts have saved the day more than once, whether for something small or life-altering. 

You’re sensitive to people’s intentions (not that you always listen to it because of how much good you choose to see in people) and when you follow your instincts, you’re usually right. 

10) You put other people’s needs first

Finally, you put other people’s needs first. And while the motivations might differ, selflessness is a big sign of empathy. 

You choose to do right by people and you offer help even without being asked. You’re a constant shoulder to cry on and a ready ear for whoever needs it. You’re the type to give the shirt off your back and the type to drive hours just to be there for someone.

You do all this because you understand the struggle. You do this because you hate the idea of anyone you love feeling like they’re alone when you’re literally right there. You do this because, in your heart, it’s the right thing to do.

And that’s admirable, but the downside to this is that you sometimes put yourself last on your list of priorities. You put so many other people before you that by the time it gets to you, you’re already tired.

It shouldn’t be that way. 

You’re part of that connection, too.

It’s important to remember that you, this person with big feelings, are part of the equation, too. That you, your feelings, and then the other people are connected. 

And you cannot leave one behind, most especially yourself. 

You cannot forget your own feelings and emotions just because you can empathize with others. You need to remember that you need to take care of yourself, too. 

You can listen to other people’s emotions all you want but you have to focus on yourself, too. 

Treat the world with kindness, sure, but give yourself that same kindness, too. 

You got this, bestie!