Emotional intelligence (EQ) is a cornerstone of healthy relationships, success in business and personal growth. 

When you have a high EQ, your own feelings and the feelings of other people begin to make a lot more sense. 

You’re able to navigate difficult and tense situations with more success and to work through miscommunications and hurt feelings with more ease. 

The truth is that EQ plays an indispensable role in various aspects of life, and delving deeper into its mechanisms can benefit us all.

Here are the top signs you have an exceptionally high EQ. 

1) You stay calm under pressure

Individuals with EQ grasp not only others’ emotions but also your own, adeptly managing how you feel.

You also quickly understand why you feel a certain way and how to stay calm when things get tricky.

When faced with stress, you confront your anxious feelings without immediate reactivity. 

You navigate through challenging situations and your own reactions with clarity, averting crisis-induced impulsivity. 

Additionally, you discern shifts in the group mood, deftly balancing between lively engagement and potential unrest.

2) You respect other people’s boundaries

You recognize the significance of personal boundaries, whether physical, emotional, or otherwise.

This leads to people respecting your boundaries as well, and honoring your limits when it comes to your personal space, time and energy.

As for gray areas?

You seek clarification when uncertain and refrain from doing anything without consent, even in professional contexts. 

3) You’re honest and direct about intimacy and relationships

In dating and personal relationships, emotionally intelligent individuals stay far away from any manipulation and deceit, opting instead for honesty and transparency. 

By articulating your intentions clearly, you cultivate healthier, more authentic connections.

For those who have lower EQ this can be very difficult, as they have a hard time managing and understanding their own emotions and thus a very hard time expressing them to others.

As Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. writes:

“If you are unable to understand, get comfortable with, or manage your emotions, you’ll also struggle to form strong relationships. 

This in turn can leave you feeling lonely and isolated and further exacerbate any mental health problems.”

4) You respond well to constructive criticism

While criticism can be unsettling, emotionally intelligent individuals refrain from taking it personally.

If this sounds like you, the reason is simple:

You recognize that criticism often has a lot of potential for growth. 

You discern between constructive feedback and baseless negativity or mean-spirited trash-talk as well, allowing hurtful remarks to wash over you, and focusing instead on constructive endeavors.

5) You’re usually able to live in the present

It’s not easy to live in the present, but you do a pretty good job of it. 

In fact, it’s more about practical happiness than anything else:

You’d prefer not to dwell on past regrets or future uncertainties, because they drain your attention and efficacy in the present moment. 

You understand that fixation on the past or future diminishes the energy available for meaningful action in the present, which is why you make a concerted effort to be here now, as spiritual teacher Ram Dass put it.

6) You communicate with clarity and respect

High EQ individuals are able to communicate respectfully and clearly. 

If this sounds like you, it’s not that you’re a gifted orator (necessarily), nor that you always know the perfect thing to say.

But you do your best to communicate clearly and say what you mean. When there’s a misunderstanding you try your best to determine why and address any confusion. 

You do your best to articulate your thoughts carefully, promptly addressing misunderstandings and prioritizing respectful discourse.

7) You’re able to open up without feeling threatened

There are many psychological and relationship downsides to emotional suppression. 

Those who push their emotions down experience higher stress, frustration and susceptibility to symptoms like anxiety and depression. 

You, by contrast, are comfortable in expressing your emotions openly and authentically. 

You’re not ashamed of how you feel, nor do you try to “package” your emotions in a way that will be cool or more easily understood. You’re just you: and you share that.

Your willingness to share feelings fosters deep connections and underscores your emotional maturity.

8) You stick to your word when you make a promise

You firmly recognize the importance of trust and reliability, and you do your best to always keep your word. 

As a high-EQ person, you only make commitments you intend to honor. 

Your conscientious approach to promises fosters mutual respect and strengthens interpersonal relationships.

Because you’re able to understand your emotions and only act on your best impulses, you are much more dependable and respected by others, leading to stronger relationships and trust in every area of your life. 

As Segal writes:

“You’re able to control impulsive feelings and behaviors, manage your emotions in healthy ways, take initiative, follow through on commitments, and adapt to changing circumstances.”

9) You’re resistant to attempts to manipulate you

You’re highly resistant to manipulation or coercion and it’s not easy to scam or mislead you. 

Because you can sense emotional interplay very well, you can instinctively tell when a person is trying to lead you wrong and you don’t fall for it. 

You prioritize integrity and respect in your interactions, refusing to compromise your values or self-respect.

You treat others with respect and integrity, and you expect the same in return. Anything less leads to you exiting the situation. 

10) You speak to someone face-to-face when you have a conflict

You prefer to confront conflicts head-on and be up front when you have an issue with somebody.

As a high-EQ individual you prioritize resolution over avoidance. Even if it hurts to rip off the band aid and get down to what’s really bothering you (or somebody else), you’d rather just be honest about it instead of pretending nothing’s wrong. 

You strongly avoid passive-aggressiveness and cultivate open dialogue whenever possible. 

You fully understand that authentic communication is essential for maintaining healthy relationships.

Even when it’s hard, you’d rather talk than repress a problem and let it fester and grow. 

“Conflict and disagreements are inevitable in human relationships. Two people can’t possibly have the same needs, opinions, and expectations at all times,” notes Segal. 

“However, that needn’t be a bad thing. Resolving conflict in healthy, constructive ways can strengthen trust between people.”

11) You don’t waste time on unnecessary online or offline drama

You’re emotionally intelligent about where you direct your attention:

Your eyeballs aren’t available to anybody or any ad or spectacle that crosses your screen. 

You’re highly mindful of the pitfalls of excessive screen time, and exercise restraint in your online activities, preserving your attention and energy. 

You utilize technology purposefully, avoiding needless distractions and random online fights or disagreements that vacuum up your time without leading to any clarity or breakthrough. 

12) You’re able to appreciate the positive aspects of even difficult people

You do your best to avoid judgment and labeling, because it’s ineffective and just locks you (and other people) in restrictive boxes.  

You recognize the complexity of human experience, and you try your best to appreciate positive aspects of even difficult people. 

You do your best to help build bridges and find some bright aspect of negative folks, even if it’s hard. This can be especially difficult if they are people in a position of power over you. 

As licensed clinical psychologist Seth Meyers, Psy. D. advises:

“Ultimately, many difficult individuals in positions of power are grandiose and need to feel singled out as special and powerful. 

By expressing appreciation for the smallest things, you will become less of a target for exploitative behavior from difficult (but non-abusive) personalities”