I remember in high school, people had to fulfill a very specific set of qualities to be accepted, to be considered “cool.” 

This is because humans who are still mentally and emotionally developing tend to view things in a more superficial light. 

Eventually, you begin to realize that life isn’t quite as black and white as they were in those formative years. 

For instance, having good social skills no longer just means being brashly, or excessively confident. 

Acts of individuality and eccentricity are no longer automatically shunned as ‘weird.’ 

As you grow up, so do your criteria for what makes a good person. 

Maybe your weirdness is what now makes you great; maybe it’s what makes you charming, engaging, and even socially effective. 

Intrigued? Read on. 

In this article, I’ll walk you through the signs you have excellent social skills, even if it doesn’t always feel like it. 

Let’s get to it! 

1) You’re an active listener 

When it comes to being likable, it really isn’t all that complicated. 

You’d be surprised how rare active listening is these days. 

Many people prefer to talk about themselves; many people don’t genuinely care what others have to say. 

This is why active listening is a form of humility. 

When you actively listen, you’re communicating that you want others to feel heard and understood; you want them to feel valued and special. 

In a sense, you “become interesting by being interested.” 

So if you listen more than you talk, ask inquisitive questions, and give thoughtful feedback and comments, you’re a socially intelligent person. 

Keep going. 

2) You have empathy

While some may interpret being compassionate as ‘soft,’ for those who matter, having a bit of empathy will always go a long way. 

Empathy allows you to connect with people on a more heightened, deeper level. 

Empathy makes you stand out. 

People tend to enjoy your company because you make them feel good about themselves. 

While most are content exchanging hollow pleasantries, by putting yourself in other people’s shoes and trying to understand their feelings and perspectives, you’re making your interactions instantly more meaningful—and people catch on. 

3) You communicate clearly 

Some people can talk and ramble on for hours without really saying anything of value. 

Not you though. 

You’re able to express and communicate your thoughts and ideas articulately and clearly, with conviction where necessary. 

People don’t often misunderstand you. 

You have the rare ability to adjust your communication style to fit different types of people… a quality that makes you highly adaptable. 

You’re the friend that people can bring anywhere. Nobody has to worry about you fitting in. 

You adjust your behaviors and communication style based on the situation and people you’re with.

This inherent flexibility makes you an asset to have around.

4) You’re aware of your body language 

Never sleep on the importance of body language. 

In case you haven’t gotten the memo, body language and non-verbal cues account for the vast majority of our in-person communication. 

So if you’re mindful of your body language when you’re around other people, you’re already ahead of the game. 

Think about it… when you’re speaking with someone and they have their arms crossed and never look you in the eye, you’ll instinctively be put off. 

But if you consistently make eye contact, have an open posture, smile, and utilize other approachable non-verbal gestures, you’ll come across as confident and welcoming. Real talk. 

5) You’re skilled at conflict resolution

People are petty. Just open the comments section of any social media post and you’ll see everyone violently arguing over the most trivial of matters. 

I saw a wholesome post about a golden retriever earlier today, and the people in the comments somehow were able to find enough ammo to vigorously debate one another. 

So if you’re the type of person who would rather focus on solutions rather than adding fuel to the fire, you’re in a good place. 

Despite being tiring, turning to conflict and casting people off is also the easy way out. Hence, it’s almost universal appeal. 

Rather than stoop down to their level, you’re able to handle conflicts with grace, mediate disputes effectively, or just avoid them altogether… which is a testament to your character as a person. 

6) You have a good sense of humor

As corny as it may sound, laughter really is a universal language. 

The most well-liked and popular people I know almost all have a well-developed sense of humor.

You see, humor eases tensions and tends to build rapport; it makes guarded people feel at ease and comfortable around you. 

Maybe you’re naturally clever, making tongue-in-cheek observations about life and the people around you. 

Maybe you tend to create inside jokes with the people you come across. 

Whatever it is, when you’re funny and playful, you will almost always lighten the mood, drawing people in in the process. 

It’s hardly rocket science: There are few more attractive traits than being funny. 

7) You have great networking abilities

For many people, networking can be legitimately difficult. 

After a certain age, many people are content limiting themselves to their bubble of friends. 

Fair enough. Making a genuine connection with a person you just met is not always a walk in the park. 

It can be tiring; it can be tedious. 

But certain people just have a knack for it.

Are you able to build and maintain relationships with relative ease? 

Are you able to remember names and small but key details about people’s lives? 

Do you follow up to keep in touch? 

If you answered mostly affirmatively to the latter, it certainly sounds like you have exceptional social skills. 

8) You’re a respectful person 

Yes, the word ‘respect’ is thrown around a lot. 

But regardless, coming across genuinely respectful people in this day and age isn’t quite as common as you think. 

So if you can respect others’ opinions, even when they differ from your own, people will naturally appreciate you for this. 

You don’t immediately cancel or insult people who are different or hold different beliefs from you. 

You first seek to understand. 

At the root of respect are things like kindness, humility, and class. 

People tend to gravitate towards these qualities because of how rare they are.