9 signs you have an unhealthy relationship with food (without realizing it)
For many of us, food is more than just fuel—it’s comfort, celebration, or even a coping mechanism.
But when does this natural human relationship with food shift into something unhealthy?
The signs aren’t always as obvious as we think.
In fact, some habits may seem normal or harmless on the surface but could indicate an underlying issue with how we approach eating.
Whether it’s turning to snacks when you’re stressed, obsessively counting calories, or feeling guilty after indulging, these subtle behaviors could be telling you something deeper about your relationship with food.
In this article, we’ll explore nine key signs that might suggest your connection to food isn’t as healthy as it could be.
1) Emotional eating
Emotional eating is one of the most common signs of an unhealthy relationship with food.
We all have those moments when we reach for a tub of ice cream or a bag of chips after a bad day. But if this becomes your go-to coping mechanism, it might be time to reevaluate your relationship with food.
Emotional eating is when you use food to deal with feelings instead of addressing the feelings themselves. It’s like putting a band-aid on a wound that really needs stitches. Sure, it might cover things up for a bit, but it doesn’t address the root cause.
Understanding this can help you recognize patterns in your behavior and start making changes towards a healthier relationship with food.
But remember, it’s not about guilt or blame, it’s about understanding and making positive changes.
2) Regularly eating past fullness
I remember when I used to treat every meal like it was Thanksgiving. I’d eat past the point of being comfortably full, often to the point of discomfort.
I didn’t realize it then, but this was a sign of my unhealthy relationship with food. Eating should never be about stuffing ourselves to the brim. It’s about nourishing our bodies.
When we habitually eat past fullness, we’re not listening to our body’s signals. We’re overriding our natural hunger and satiety cues, which can lead to weight gain and feelings of guilt and shame.
It took me a while, but once I started being more mindful during meals, I began to understand what real fullness felt like. It’s not about feeling stuffed; it’s about feeling satisfied. And understanding this difference is a key step towards healthier eating habits.
3) Obsession with calorie counting
Did you know that the calorie count on food labels can be off by as much as 20%? Yet, so many of us are fixated on these numbers, meticulously adding and subtracting every calorie we consume.
An unhealthy relationship with food often manifests as an obsession with calorie counting. It’s one thing to be aware of what you’re putting into your body, but obsessing over every single calorie can lead to anxiety and an unhealthy fixation on food.
Nutrition is not just about calories; it’s also about the quality of the food we eat. A diet rich in fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and lean proteins can provide the nutrients our body needs without having to obsess over every single calorie.
Food is not just fuel. It’s something to be enjoyed. And while it’s important to make healthy choices, obsessing over every calorie is not a recipe for a healthy relationship with food.
4) Using food as a reward or punishment
Food is meant to nourish and sustain us, not to be used as a tool for reward or punishment.
If you find yourself treating food as a reward (“I worked out today, so I deserve this cake”) or a punishment (“I ate too much yesterday, so I’ll skip breakfast”), you might be developing an unhealthy relationship with food.
This kind of behavior can lead to cycles of overeating and restriction, which can take a toll on both your physical and mental health.
Breaking free from this cycle involves recognizing these patterns and finding healthier ways to reward or discipline yourself. Remember, it’s okay to enjoy food, but it shouldn’t be the centerpiece of your emotional landscape.
5) Feeling guilt or shame after eating
Food is meant to be enjoyed, not to trigger feelings of guilt or shame.
If you find yourself feeling guilty or ashamed after eating, especially if you’ve eaten something you consider “bad” or “unhealthy,” it’s a sign you might have an unhealthy relationship with food.
Food is not inherently good or bad, and attaching these moral labels can lead to negative feelings post-eating. It’s healthier to view all food as fuel for your body and remember that it’s your overall eating patterns that matter, not individual meals or snacks.
Breaking free from this guilt or shame involves recognizing these negative feelings and challenging the thoughts that cause them. Eating should be a source of nourishment and enjoyment, not guilt and shame.
6) Fear of certain foods
Food should never be a source of fear.
Yet, many of us find ourselves afraid of certain foods, believing them to be the root cause of weight gain or health problems. This fear can lead us to severely restrict our diets and miss out on the joy of eating a wide variety of foods.
The truth is, no single food is responsible for weight gain or loss. It’s our overall eating habits that matter. And while it’s important to make healthy food choices, there’s room for all kinds of foods in moderation.
Living in fear of food can take a toll on both your mental and physical health. It robs you of the joy that comes from eating and can lead to an unhealthy relationship with food.
If you find yourself fearing certain foods, it may be time to seek help. There’s nothing shameful about it – we all need a helping hand sometimes. Remember, your relationship with food should be based on enjoyment and nourishment, not fear.
7) Constantly thinking about food
There was a time when my day revolved around food. What was I going to eat for my next meal? How many calories did it have? Could I afford to have a snack? Food thoughts consumed me, and they took a toll on my mental health.
Constantly thinking about food is another sign of an unhealthy relationship with it. Of course, it’s normal to anticipate a delicious dinner or remember a great meal you had. But when these thoughts become obsessive, it can indicate an issue.
It’s important to strike a balance. Food is an essential part of our lives, but it shouldn’t be something that consumes your every thought.
Once I began to address this issue, I found more mental space for other important aspects of life – relationships, work, hobbies. It wasn’t easy, but breaking free from the constant thoughts about food was liberating and a crucial step towards a healthier relationship with food.
8) Skipping meals intentionally
Intentionally skipping meals is a common sign of an unhealthy relationship with food.
Some people do this to “save” calories for a later meal, while others might do it as a form of self-punishment. Either way, it’s not a healthy behavior.
Our bodies need regular meals to function properly. Skipping meals can lead to low energy levels, poor concentration, and overeating later in the day.
Nourishing your body with regular meals and snacks is an important part of maintaining a healthy relationship with food. Remember, food is not the enemy – it’s the fuel that keeps our bodies going. Eating regularly and mindfully is a key part of self-care and overall health.
9) Your self-worth is tied to what you eat
If your self-esteem is tied to what you eat — it’s not healthy.
One of the most telling signs of an unhealthy relationship with food is when your self-worth is tied to what you eat.
If you find yourself feeling good about yourself when you eat “healthy” and bad when you don’t, it’s a sign that your relationship with food might need some attention.
Food doesn’t determine your worth. You are not “good” for eating a salad or “bad” for eating a cookie. You are enough, just as you are, no matter what you eat.
It’s okay to enjoy food. It’s okay to have a cookie or a piece of cake. What’s not okay is attaching your sense of self-worth to your food choices.
You are more than what you eat. And recognizing this is key to developing a healthier relationship with food.
Final thought: It’s about balance, not perfection
Eating should be about nourishment and enjoyment, not guilt and fear. It’s important to remember that occasional overeating or emotional eating is a part of life and doesn’t mean you have an unhealthy relationship with food.
However, if you find these signs resonating with you more often than not, it might be time to seek help.
There is no shame in reaching out to professionals in nutrition and mental health to support you in building a healthier relationship with food.
Food is not just fuel for our bodies. It’s also a source of pleasure, tradition, and community. So let’s strive for a balanced and healthy relationship with it, one where we listen to our bodies, enjoy our meals, and don’t tie our self-worth to what we eat.