8 signs you have a tiresome personality that many people find uncomfortable to be around

Lucas Graham by Lucas Graham | June 18, 2024, 1:39 pm

Navigating social interactions can often feel like walking a tightrope: a delicate balance between expressing yourself and considering the comfort of those around you.

You’ve probably found yourself in situations where someone’s behavior was just too exhausting to handle.

They may not even realize it, but their constant need for attention, their penchant for drama, or their inability to listen can leave you feeling drained and uneasy.

What if I told you that you might be that person for someone else?

It’s a tough pill to swallow, I know. But identifying your weaknesses is the first step towards personal growth.

Here’s a friendly guide to help you recognize if you have a tiresome personality that may make others uncomfortable. Awareness is the first step to improvement, after all.

1) You dominate conversations

Ever found yourself in a conversation where you’re doing most of the talking?

And by ‘most’, I mean 70 to 80 percent of the time. Of course, the things you’re saying are probably very valuable. You’re sharing your thoughts, your experiences, your ideas.

But in the midst of it all, you might not realize that you’re leaving little room for others to express themselves.

This can be overwhelming for people around you. They might feel unheard, unimportant and eventually, uncomfortable.

If you often notice people trying to interrupt or looking disinterested when you’re speaking, this could be a sign that you are dominating conversations and might have a tiresome personality.

Remember, conversation is about exchange and not just a platform for one person’s monologue. If this is a habit of yours, it might be time to reevaluate your social dynamics.

2) Little interest in others

It’s not just about talking less, it’s also about showing genuine interest in others.

I’ve been there, caught up in my own thoughts, my own world, that I forget to really listen to the person in front of me.

I’m still nodding along while they speak. But I’m not truly engaging with their words, their feelings, their experiences.

This usually doesn’t come from any bad intention. After all, we’ve all got our own problems to worry about. It’s easy to get so wrapped up in our own stories that we forget to ask others about theirs.

Take a moment to reconnect with your sense of curiosity. And who knows – putting your own worries aside for a bit might just be the key to helping you find the solutions to them!

3) Lack of empathy

I remember a time when a friend was pouring her heart out about her struggles at work. I didn’t really understand what she was going through, because I’d never been in her situation.

And I’m ashamed to say, instead of expressing sympathy or trying to understand her feelings, I found myself dismissing her concerns. I told her she was overreacting and that it wasn’t a big deal.

It was only later that I realized how dismissive and insensitive I had been. She needed support and understanding, not judgment or dismissal.

This lack of empathy on my part made her uncomfortable, and I could tell she confided less in me after that incident.

If you’ve done this too, forgive yourself. We’re all just human, and most of us have done this to someone at some point in our lives. What’s important is how you choose to react moving forward – and you can choose to react with empathy to everyone around you. 

4) Constant negativity

You may have already heard that our brains are wired to react more strongly to negative events than positive ones. This is known as negativity bias.

So it’s understandable why some people tend to complain a lot. But that doesn’t change the fact that it can become really exhausting for those around you.

Of course, we all have bad days or situations where we need to vent to someone. But if you’re always the one bringing down the mood, it can make people uncomfortable and even avoidant.

People naturally gravitate towards positivity and optimism. If you notice people distancing themselves, take stock of what you’ve been saying – and maybe try looking more at the bright side. It’ll be sure to have an amazing impact on your own mood and well-being as well. 

5) Always needing to be right

Do you know what can turn a simple discussion into an uncomfortable situation? It’s the need to always be right.

Insisting on winning every argument, not acknowledging when you’re wrong, or constantly correcting others can make interactions with you feel more like a battlefield than a conversation.

Certain personalities might find it tough to step away from this mindset. You believe what you believe for very good reason – why can’t others see it? I too have found myself in situations where I was so passionate about something, I could not see any other point of view. 

But it’s important to stay humble and remember that at the end of the day, we are just one human with one opinion, and it’s not the only one. Opening your mind up to hear others can give you some valuable perspectives – and it will certainly make you a more pleasant person to be around.

6) Not respecting boundaries

Boundaries are a crucial part of any relationship, whether it’s friendship, family or love. They help define our personal space and comfort zones.

Sometimes in my eagerness to connect or help, I’ve found myself crossing these invisible lines. Whether it’s probing too much into someone’s personal matters, or insisting on hanging out when the other person clearly needs some alone time.

Invading someone’s personal space, time or emotions can make them feel uncomfortable and overwhelmed. Even though you don’t mean it that way, it can give off the impression that you’re not considerate of their feelings or needs.

If you often find people pulling away or looking uncomfortable, try to notice if there’s a boundary you’re overstepping. Not really sure? The best way to find out is to politely and kindly ask! They’ll be sure to appreciate your care.

Related: 10 scriptures that offer comfort when you’re feeling lonely

7) Giving unsolicited advice

Have you ever seen someone do something that you just knew was the wrong way to do it? Telling them how to do it better might seem like something kind and helpful, but unfortunately the effect it has on the person could be quite the opposite.

Just think for a moment about a time when someone gave you advice that you didn’t ask for, and you’ll understand why.

Though your heart is in the right place, it communicates to the person that what they’re doing is wrong – so basically, you’re criticizing them. Not only that, but you’re also dictating how they should do it instead, which takes away their freedom of choice. 

All without having their permission to do it in the first place!

You see, there’s a big difference between giving advice when someone asks for it, and oh-so-(not)-helpfully pushing it on them without warning.

Allow people to do things their way, and make their own mistakes. If you really feel you need to share something, first ask them “Are you open to some advice?” It can go a long way in making sure you don’t become someone tiresome for them. 

8) Inflexibility and resistance to change

Change is a part of life. We all evolve, adapt, and grow. But when we’re rigid in our ways and resistant to change, it can make our interactions with others tiresome.

I once had a friend who had several hardships in her life. Her family relationships were strained, she wasn’t really getting anywhere at work, and she seemed to be stuck without making progress in her goals. 

She talked about these things quite often with her friends and colleagues – but she was also so set in her ways that she would refuse to try new things or really consider people’s perspectives. It made conversations with her repetitive and predictable, and eventually, people began to distance themselves.

This is a rather specific example, but you can also notice inflexibility taking its toll in other situations. For example, when a friend isn’t able to adapt to the preferences of others during group hangouts, demanding everyone bend to their own desires. 

Whatever the specific situation, staying open-minded and willing to adapt not only enriches our own lives but also makes us more pleasant to be around.

Wrapping up

If you’ve found yourself nodding along to some of these signs, it might be a bit of a wake-up call. But here’s the silver lining – recognizing these behaviors is the first step towards change.

You see, our personalities are not set in stone. They evolve with us and can be consciously molded with awareness and effort.

Begin by observing your interactions with others. Pay attention to how often you dominate conversations, resist change, or dismiss others’ feelings. Then set the intention to do things better.

These patterns won’t change overnight. But with time and patience, you’d be surprised at how much your interactions can improve. And before you know it, you’ll find yourself fostering deeper connections and becoming a person that people love being around.