Years ago, when I was starting out in journalism, I interviewed historical fiction novelist C.W. Gortner about his book entitled Marlene—based on the life of famous Hollywood actress, singer, and performer, Marlene Dietrich. 

The German-American actress was a megastar by 1937.

She was independent, expressive, and also was one of the first high-profile people to cross dress (famed fashion designer Yves Saint Laurent’s iconic Le Smoking tuxedo was inspired by Dietrich)—something considered outlandish at the time.

When a high-level Nazi diplomat approached Dietrich to star in Adolf Hitler’s propaganda films, she turned him down with disdain. 

“Hitler is an idiot,” Dietrich boldly said in a wartime interview. “Boys don’t sacrifice yourselves. The war is crap.”

I’ve long admired Dietrich for being such a strong-minded personality and badass, especially during a time when a woman was supposed to be anything but.

What makes a person strong-minded and something of a certified badass in their own right?

Here are five indications according to psychology. 

1) You don’t give you power away 

People with strong personalities don’t give their power away, says Amy Morin LCSW. 

“They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them,” she says. 

For example, you’ll never hear them say something like “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they know that they’re the ones who are in control of their emotions—no one else. They know that they have a choice in how they respond.

People who have a strong personalities also don’t give their power away to their own feelings; in other words, they don’t wait until their emotions bubble over before they speak their mind.  

They know that the key to speaking up is to speak up before their feelings take over, says psychologist Jennifer Kunst, PhD. They speak up when they see things more clearly and levelly. 

They don’t worry too much about what they’re going to say either. They ask themselves that question and think about it seriously and thoughtfully.

They stand up for themselves because if they’re not their biggest champion and most fervent advocate, then who else will be?

They are well aware of the truth that they themselves will always be their most ardent ally.  

2) You have a constructive view of confrontation

Understandably, a lot of people go out of their way to avoid conflicts because they’re afraid it will make their relationships worse or even ruin them altogether. 

“If you have a strong personality, your views about confrontation and conflict will be quite different,” says Nathan Falde from Truity, a personality science group founded by psychologist and counselor Molly Owens. 

Similar to our above example, it’s not that you go out of your way to seek conflict out, and you still would prefer to avoid it, “but in general you would prefer to lay your cards on the table when you feel you have something important to express or are dissatisfied with someone else’s behavior in some way,” says Falde.

People with strong personalities believe it’s better to have things come out into the open where they can be faced head-on even if feelings are hurt in the beginning, emphasizes Falde.

They also stand up for their rights whenever they’ve been treated unfairly. “Never let the possibility of conflict stop you from doing so.”

The admirable thing about strong personalities is that they don’t personalize their disputes. They focus on resolving the problem without any hard feelings. 

3) You see vulnerability as a strength rather than a weakness

A few years ago, Oscar-nominated actress and Empire star Taraji P. Henson talked about how she struggled with suicidal ideation during the pandemic. 

On her Facebook Watch show Peace of Mind, Henson said: 

“For a couple of days I couldn’t get out of bed. I didn’t care. That’s not me. Then, I started having thoughts about ending it.” 

Henson elaborated that this line of destructive thinking continued for two days before she decided to reach out to a friend to help her through it.

By using her platform to express her vulnerability, I’m sure Henson has helped many people who are struggling with their own mental health issues, to realize that they can also reach out and seek help and that they don’t have to go through rough times alone.

No doubt, opening up in such a profound way was a courageous thing to do on Henson’s part.

Strong personality types know that allowing themselves to be vulnerable can pay dividends in terms of their personal evolution.

One thing they do is get out of their comfort zone and trust in their belief to figure out and handle challenging situations, says Lisa Fritscher from Very Well Mind.

“Being vulnerable with others can foster intimacy in your relationships. It helps deepen your compassion, empathy, and connection with others in your life.”

Strong personalities have a healthy sense of self-acceptance and being vulnerable is one way to have that. “Vulnerability allows you to accept and embrace different aspects of yourself,” says Fritscher.

“This can help you build greater confidence and authenticity.”

4) You see the reality of a situation and aren’t afraid to look at your part in it

Strong personalities aren’t afraid to look at the reality of a situation and deal with it. They don’t avoid their problems.

Mentally resilient people take stock of the facts, research, and feedback from loved ones, says psychologist Tracy S. Hutchinson, PhD. 

“They don’t mentally alter history or reality, nor believe revisions to events that have happened,” she says.

“Dealing with reality often includes planning and seeing the situation clearly and frequently conferring with others so they are prepared for the consequences of their behavior and for whatever life throws at them.”

People with strong personalities also accept the consequences of their choices. They take responsibility and don’t ignore past pain or trauma. They also don’t blame other people for the issues they caused. 

They don’t beat themselves up over mistakes and use self-compassion during tough times, says Hutchinson. “They know they are making an effort to do their best in any given circumstance.”

To possess a strong personality is to have the ability to be self-aware and self-monitor.

“Self-monitoring means that one can have an awareness of their behavior, feelings, and thoughts, and regulate their responses based on the demands of a situation,” says Hutchinson.

They also make meaning out of their past and try to learn, evolve, and do better.

In the words of Albert Einstein: “one cannot solve a problem with the same level of consciousness used to create it.”

Speaking of Einstein, the theoretical physicist wasn’t just mentally strong because of how intelligent he was. 

Einstein didn’t speak at all for the first three years of his life. His teachers called him lazy because he was so enamored and distracted by abstract concepts. 

No one around him had any confidence in Einstein, but despite all these obstacles, his strong personality helped him to rise above such negativity and accomplish amazing things. 

Einstein was adamant about believing in himself despite the lack of emotional support around him. 

5) You don’t need approval or validation from anyone

Mentally strong people don’t rely on other people for approval or validation.

It is reasonable for anyone to want their ideas, decisions, choices, achievements, and perspectives to be acknowledged and approved of by those around them, says therapist Sherry Gaba, LCSW on Psychology Today. 

“After all, what is the first thing we do as children when we accomplish something? We look to our parents for recognition (validation) that we did a good thing.”

Psychologist Dr. Karen Hall says that validation is actually the “recognition and acceptance” of someone else’s experience.

Self-validation, on the other hand, is the ability to recognize and acknowledge your own internal experience, says Gaba.

“It is not about agreeing with someone or accepting their thoughts as you own; it is about being able to accept these thoughts and experiences as being valid.

In other words, it’s about trusting and accepting that your own perspective and beliefs have merit and significance. 

Mentally strong people don’t need others to define them, says Darius Cikanavicius from PsychCentral. 

That’s because mentally strong people are solidly connected to themselves. They’re not frightened by rejection and they’re less likely to be psychologically dependent on others, Cikanavicius says.

“We can recognize and accept our strengths and shortcomings. We can learn self-validation. We can step out of our comfort zone. We can change our behavior. We can change our false belief systems.”

Strong personalities are able to let go of old survival strategies and they make better choices. “We feel that we are enough. We can live a more conscious, more proactive, more loving, and more fulfilling life.”

Don’t feel like your personality is up to par?

You don’t have to be in a position of power to have a strong personality. 

“A person occupying a powerful position may or may not have a powerful personality,” says the team at CoachHub, which is made up of behavioral scientists. “An individual who has a powerful personality will continue to wield influence regardless of the position they occupy”

Anyone and everyone can have a strong personality—provided they put in the work. 

Remember that a powerful personality encompasses a mix of temperament and authenticity in character. A strong sense of self-awareness is what’s key.

CoachHub says there are a number of things we can do to build up our personality. These include expanding our communication skills so that we’re sure to respectfully voice our truth any time we feel the need to. 

Be level-headed and be warm and kind to others. A strong personality isn’t someone who tries to control and dominate other people. That attitude actually points to a lack of self-worth and an aggressive need to compensate for it.

Some final thoughts on having a strong personality: 

“Let out the ‘real you,’ and stay comfortable around yourself.”