As people, all of us crave a sense of acceptance, loyalty, and mutual respect.

These qualities are important in any healthy friendship. In contrast, their absence signals a superficial or potentially damaging relationship.

Unfortunately, the signs of a genuinely good friend aren’t always apparent from the get-go and may take time to recognize.

With insights from psychology, I’m going to share with you some key traits to look out for that show you have a genuinely good friend in your life.

Let’s get started, shall we?

1) Dependability

Dependability isn’t just showing up for coffee dates on time or remembering birthdays. It’s a deeper commitment that builds over time, showing that you can trust your friend to be there for you when you need them most.

Psychology tells us that a dependable friend is like a safety net. They’re there to catch you when you fall, offering emotional support in times of crisis and celebrating with you in times of success.

This is why a genuinely good friend doesn’t make empty promises. They follow through on their commitments, whether it’s helping you move, listening when you need to vent, or standing up for you when others won’t.

Their actions speak louder than words, showing that they value your friendship and are willing to invest time and effort into maintaining it.

2) Emotional availability

An important trait of a genuinely good friend, according to psychology, is emotional availability.

This is the willingness of your friend to be there for you emotionally, to share in your highs and lows, and to be open about their own feelings as well.

In contrast to an avoidant friend, a good friend isn’t afraid of deep conversations or emotional intimacy. They are comfortable discussing personal matters and aren’t shy about expressing their feelings or concerns.

You may notice this when they freely share their experiences, ask for your advice, or express empathy when you’re going through tough times.

Their emotional availability not only strengthens your bond but also builds trust and mutual understanding—key elements in a genuine friendship.

3) Mutual respect

A friend who respects you will listen to your thoughts and feelings without interruption or judgment. They understand that you are your own person with unique experiences and perspectives.

This is another clear sign of a genuinely good friend: mutual respect.

In a genuine friendship, there is a shared respect that reinforces the bond and creates a safe space for open and honest communication.

They value your opinions, even when they differ from their own, and they never belittle you or make you feel small.

You’ll notice this when they ask for your opinion, give you space to express yourself, and show appreciation for your insights.

4) Constructive criticism

While it might seem uncomfortable, a friend who is willing to offer constructive criticism is a genuinely good one.

They’re not afraid to point out areas where you could improve, and they do it from a place of wanting the best for you.

This doesn’t mean they’re always criticizing or finding fault in what you do. Instead, they provide balanced feedback, acknowledging your strengths while helping you recognize your weaknesses.

Their comments are aimed at growth and improvement, not at undermining your self-esteem. They give you advice that helps you become a better version of yourself.

Remember, a friend who always agrees with you may not have your best interests at heart.

5) They keep your secrets

Let’s be real: We all have secrets.

Things we are not proud of, mistakes we’ve made, or dreams we’re too scared to share with the world.

A genuinely good friend holds these secrets like a treasure. When you share something delicate, it doesn’t come back to haunt you.

They don’t spill your deepest fears or embarrassing moments for a quick laugh or to be the center of attention. They understand the trust you’ve placed in them, and they honor it.

6) They celebrate your successes

A genuinely good friend doesn’t envy your successes. There’s no room for competitiveness in their response to your achievements.

They’re always there to celebrate your victories, no matter how big or small. They feel genuine joy when you succeed, and they’re eager to celebrate with you.

They see your success as a cause for celebration, not comparison, and it’s this kind of selfless support is a clear sign of a genuinely good friend.

7) They understand your silences

We’ve all had those moments when we just don’t have the words to express what we’re feeling.

In these times, a genuinely good friend understands your silence.

They don’t pressure you to speak, but simply sit with you, offering their presence as comfort. They understand that sometimes, you need space to process your thoughts and feelings.

They respect your need for quiet, responding with patience and empathy.

Because sometimes, the most meaningful conversations happen without uttering a single word

8) They make you laugh

Let’s not forget the power of a good chuckle!

A truly good friend knows how to make you laugh, lifting your spirits even on your gloomiest days.

Whether it’s through a silly joke, a funny story, or just their general goofiness, they have a knack for bringing a smile to your face.

They’re the first person you think of sharing a funny meme with, or when their goofy antics make you laugh until your sides ache.

These moments of shared laughter become precious memories, adding joy and lightness to your friendship.

9) They call you out

Nobody’s perfect, and we all occasionally need a reality check.

A genuinely good friend isn’t afraid to call you out when you’re in the wrong.

They won’t let you get away with bad behavior or harmful decisions. Instead, they’ll point it out, helping you recognize your mistakes and encouraging you to make amends.

This isn’t shaming or blaming, but holding you accountable because they care about your growth and wellbeing.

10) They accept you for who you are

The most compelling sign of a genuinely good friend is unconditional acceptance.

They embrace you for who you are, flaws and all.

They don’t try to change you to fit their expectations or ideals. Instead, they celebrate your individuality and appreciate your unique perspective.

In a world where we often feel pressured to conform, a friend who accepts and loves you as you are is truly priceless. 

Reflecting on friendship

Being in a friendship with someone who respects, encourages, and appreciates you can be heartwarming and life-changing.

Your friend isn’t just a casual acquaintance but a pillar of support, a confidante, and a source of joy and laughter.

They stick by you in tough times and celebrate with you in moments of triumph.

Keep in mind that this article is meant to highlight the traits that make up a genuinely good friendship.

Not all friends will exhibit all these signs at all times, and that’s okay. Friendships are complex and nuanced, just like us.

So, take a moment to reflect—not just on whether your friends match these signs but also on whether you exhibit these qualities as a friend.

Because, at the end of the day, friendship is a two-way street.

In the grand scheme of things, having one or many friends who embody these signs is a gift.

Don’t just cherish it; strive to be that genuinely good friend for them, too.