If you’re reading this article, then deep down, you may be questioning the reason why you’re in a relationship. 

So before we get into it, I want to say that there’s no judgment here. I, myself, have stayed in a relationship solely for company, not out of love. And while it isn’t a nice thing to do, it’s a mistake many of us make.

Loneliness and social stigma can drive us to do such things. 

But ultimately, it’s not something you can continue forever, especially if your feelings don’t come from the heart. 

Here are 9 signs you don’t love him, you just don’t want to be single:

1) You’re more focused on the relationship status than the person

There’s no denying that being in a relationship can provide a sense of security and validation.

But when it comes to love, it should be about the person, not the status.

So, if you find yourself spending more time reveling in the fact that you’re “taken” rather than actually enjoying his company, it’s a major red flag.

Here’s a little truth bomb:

The title of ‘girlfriend’ or ‘partner’ shouldn’t be the main source of happiness in your relationship.

It should be him – his personality, his quirks, his values, and how he treats you.

So take a step back and ask yourself:

Are you more in love with being in a relationship than you are with him?

This self-reflection might be challenging, but it’s crucial to ensure that your feelings are genuine and not just a fear of being alone.

2) His absence doesn’t really bother you

In the past, I dated a guy who was kind, funny, and attractive.

We shared great moments together and had a lot in common.

But when he had to go away for a few weeks, I realized something strange – I didn’t miss him.

Sure, I missed the goodnight texts and the dinner dates, but his absence didn’t leave that gaping hole in my life that it should have.

It was then I understood that my feelings weren’t as deep as I thought. Yes, I enjoyed his company, but I wasn’t emotionally invested in him.

In other words, the relationship felt more like a nice-to-have accessory rather than a must-have necessity.

If you’re truly in love with someone, their absence should affect you.

You’ll miss their presence, their laughter, and even their annoying habits. If this isn’t the case for you, it might be time to reassess your feelings.

3) You’re constantly comparing him to others

In a genuine loving relationship, your partner is seen as unique and irreplaceable.

However, if you find yourself constantly comparing him to your exes, celebrities or even your friends’ partners, it’s a sign that you’re not truly in love.

Psychologists suggest that when we’re deeply in love, we tend to idealize our partners and see them as perfect. This ‘halo effect‘ reduces the tendency to compare them with others.

If comparisons are a recurring theme in your relationship, it might be an indication that you’re more focused on the idea of an ‘ideal partner’ rather than appreciating the one you’re with.

It’s important to ask yourself: are you with him because he truly fulfills you or because he simply fills the void of being single?

4) You dread the thought of a future with him

When you’re in love, the thought of a future with your partner should bring feelings of excitement and joy.

You daydream about shared experiences, growing together, and building a life that intertwines both of your dreams.

But if you cringe at the thought of a long-term commitment with him, or you can’t picture a future together beyond the next few months, it’s a sign that your feelings might not be rooted in love.

Instead, it could be that you’re simply enjoying not being alone right now.

And while that might feel good for a while, it’s not ideal. For you or for him.

You both deserve to be with people you can grow and build a life with. I know this might be tough to come to terms with, and even tougher to admit to your partner, but it’s worth doing. 

5) You don’t feel proud to introduce him to your loved ones

Have you introduced your man to your core circle? Or does the idea of it make you want to run a mile?

Because if you’re really in love with him, you’d be excited to introduce him to your family and friends, and eager for them to see what makes him special.

But if you hesitate to bring him into your inner circle, or you feel embarrassed about how he might come across, it’s a sign that your feelings might be less about love and more about avoiding loneliness.

Ultimately, if he was the right one, you’d be keen to get your loved ones in the mix. 

This was something I realized was happening when I was dating the guy I mentioned earlier. He really wanted to meet my best friend and my brother, but I kept putting it off. 

After a while, I realized it was because I wasn’t truly in love with him, I was just enjoying the company and lack of loneliness.

6) You’re not interested in his world

When you love someone, their passions and interests become fascinating to you.

You find joy in learning about the things they love, even if they’re things you never cared about before.

Take my current relationship for example – he loves horror, I hate it. But I’ll watch it because I know he loves it. I love shopping, he doesn’t. But he’ll still come along with me.

This is the complete opposite of the experience I had with the guy I dated a while back. The idea of accompanying him to watch sci-fi films which he was into made me feel incredibly bored. I was simply uninterested. 

So, if you find yourself uninterested in his hobbies, indifferent to his passions, or unimpressed by his achievements, it’s a sign that your heart might not be fully invested.

7) You don’t feel the need to communicate openly

Continuing on with my ex, I didn’t feel the need to share my day, my worries, or my dreams with him.

At first, I brushed it off as being independent.

However, I later realized that this lack of communication was a sign that I wasn’t truly in love with him.

The truth is, in a loving relationship, you should feel comfortable sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings.

Your partner should be the first one you want to share good news with, the one you seek comfort from when you’re down, and the one with whom you want to share your dreams.

So, think about your own situation…

If you don’t feel the need to communicate so openly and deeply, then maybe this isn’t the right one for you. 

8) You feel relief when he cancels plans

When you’re genuinely in love, spending time with your partner is something you look forward to.

Every date, every outing, and even the simplest moments together should bring contentment and joy.

You know that feeling, when you just can’t get enough of each other. 

But if you find yourself feeling relieved when he cancels plans or if you often find excuses to avoid spending time with him, it’s a sign that something is off.

This relief often stems from the fact that, deep down, you’d rather be alone or with others than with him. It’s a sad realization to come to, but one that you should face rather than brush under the rug. 

9) You can’t say ‘I love you’ and truly mean it

If you find it hard to say these words and truly mean them, it’s a critical sign that you might not be in love with him.

These three words hold a world of depth and meaning.

If saying them feels forced or uncomfortable, it’s worth asking yourself if you’re just in the relationship to avoid being alone. 

It’s essential to understand that being single isn’t a sign of failure or an undesirable state.

It’s a phase where you can explore, understand, and love yourself better.

And ultimately, it’s crucial to be in a relationship for the right reasons – for love, connection, and shared dreams; not out of fear of being alone. 

So take your time, reflect on these signs, and most importantly, love yourself first.

That’s when you can truly love someone else.