9 signs you deserve far better than what you’re getting in your relationships

Isabella Chase by Isabella Chase | September 9, 2024, 1:35 am

In relationships, it’s not always easy to see when we’re settling for less than we deserve. It’s like trying to read the label from inside the jar – sometimes you need an outside perspective.

Getting what you deserve in a relationship doesn’t mean demanding perfection. It means expecting respect, honesty, and love.

And guess what? There are signs that can point out if you’re getting less than you deserve in your relationships.

So, I’m about to share 9 signs that indicate you should demand more from your relationships.

These signs will help you understand whether it’s time to have a hard conversation or even move on.

1) You’re always the one making the effort

In relationships, it should never be a one-way street.

If you’re always the one planning dates, initiating conversations, or making compromises, this could be a red flag. A healthy relationship is all about balance and reciprocity.

Sure, it’s normal for one person to take the lead sometimes. But if it’s consistently you pulling all the weight, something’s not right.

Remember that a relationship involves two people. Both parties should be equally invested and willing to put in the effort.

2) Your feelings are constantly invalidated

Here’s something I personally experienced in one of my past relationships.

I remember pouring my heart out, sharing my fears and insecurities, only to be met with a dismissive “you’re overreacting” or “you’re too sensitive”. My feelings were constantly brushed off as if they were nothing more than an inconvenience.

This made me feel small, insignificant, and unimportant. It’s one thing to disagree on matters but it’s a whole different story when your feelings are outright dismissed or invalidated.

In a healthy relationship, your feelings should be acknowledged and respected, even when they may not be fully understood.

If your partner belittles your emotions or makes you feel like they’re invalid, you might want to take a step back and reassess the situation.

3) Your self-esteem is taking a hit

Self-esteem is the value we place on ourselves. It’s our perception of our worth and abilities, and it’s crucial for our mental and emotional well-being.

In a toxic relationship, it’s common for one partner to chip away at the other’s self-esteem. They may use subtle put-downs, constant criticism, or even belittlement masked as jokes.

This can lead to the person on the receiving end feeling less confident and questioning their self-worth.

If you’re in a relationship that’s causing your self-esteem to plummet, it’s time to reevaluate whether it’s worth it.

After all, you deserve a relationship that lifts you up, not one that brings you down.

4) You feel lonely even when you’re together

One of the greatest joys of being in a relationship is having someone to share your life with. Someone to laugh with, to cry with, to share your deepest thoughts and dreams with.

But just because you’re in a relationship doesn’t mean you can’t feel alone. In fact, feeling lonely while in a relationship can be one of the most confusing and painful experiences.

If you often feel alone, even when you’re together, it could be a sign that your emotional needs are not being met.

It may mean that your partner is not truly present, emotionally distant, or just not engaged in the relationship.

It’s important to remember that being in a relationship should make you feel connected and supported, not isolated and lonely. 

5) You’re constantly walking on eggshells

In a healthy relationship, you should feel safe and comfortable expressing your thoughts and feelings. You shouldn’t have to worry about every word you say or action you take.

But if you find yourself constantly walking on eggshells, fearing that anything you say or do may set your partner off, then something is wrong.

This kind of constant anxiety is not normal and it’s certainly not healthy.

This could be a sign of emotional abuse or control. It’s crucial to recognize this for what it is – a sign that you deserve far better in your relationship.

Remember, a good relationship allows you to feel at ease, not constantly on edge.

6) You’re not happy

This might seem like a simple point, but it’s a profound one. The ultimate goal of any relationship is happiness.

Think back to when you first started your relationship. The laughter, the connection, the joy – these are the things that likely drew you to your partner in the first place.

But if those feelings have been replaced by constant stress, worry, or sadness, then it’s time for some serious introspection.

Happiness is not a luxury in a relationship – it’s a necessity.

You deserve to be in a relationship that brings you joy, not one that constantly drains you.

If your heart is heavy more often than it’s light, it’s a sign you deserve better.

7) You’re always making excuses for them

I once had a partner who would often cancel plans at the last minute or show up late without any genuine apology.

And each time, I found myself making excuses for them, to my friends, to my family, and even to myself.

“He’s just really busy with work,” or “He’s just not good with time management,” became my go-to phrases.

But deep down, I knew this wasn’t right. I knew that these consistent actions were a reflection of the lack of respect they had for my time and feelings.

If you find yourself in a similar situation, constantly covering up for your partner’s poor behavior, it’s a sign that you may be settling for less than you deserve.

8) Your dreams and goals are not supported

In a solid relationship, your partner should be your biggest cheerleader. They should support your dreams, encourage your goals, and be excited about your achievements.

But if you have a partner who belittles your ambitions, shows disinterest in your goals, or even discourages you from pursuing them, it’s a sign that something’s not right.

Your partner should not  only celebrate your successes but also stand by you during your struggles and failures.

If your personal growth and dreams are being stifled in your relationship, it may be time to consider if you’re getting what you truly deserve.

9) You can’t be your true self

At the core of any relationship is authenticity. Being able to be your true self, with all your quirks, passions, and imperfections, is crucial.

If you find yourself constantly changing or suppressing parts of who you are to appease your partner or to avoid conflict, then this is a significant red flag.

You deserve a relationship where you’re loved and appreciated for who you are, not for who your partner wants you to be.

A relationship where you can be authentically you is one where you’ll flourish.

The heart of the matter

The signs we’ve discussed are all indicators that you may be settling for less than you deserve.

But remember, recognizing these signs is only the first step. The real journey lies in taking action towards change.

Maybe it’s having a serious conversation with your partner, seeking professional help, or in some cases, walking away.

It’s never easy. But it’s crucial to remember that you are worthy of a relationship that respects you, values you, and brings you happiness.

Ultimately, relationships should enhance our lives, not detract from them. You deserve to be loved and cherished for who you are.

And if you’re not receiving that, never be afraid to demand better.

Your happiness is worth it. After all, as Maya Angelou once said, “You alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anybody.”