7 signs you and your partner were made for each other, according to science

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | July 14, 2024, 11:52 am

Everyone who falls in love goes through a stage where they’re convinced their new partner must have been sent to them by some kind of higher power. How else could you be such a great match?

After all, everything they do is perfect. Sure, you don’t know each other all that well, but something about this love just feels… right. It’s simply too divine to be false.

Okay, time to burst your bubble.

Those kinds of feelings? That’s infatuation speaking. It’s not real, lasting love. More often than not, your hormones are just going crazy, and your rose-colored glasses help you turn a blind eye to all the subtle red flags.

In fact, most couples break up around the 2-year mark. That’s when you genuinely see your partner for who they are and can rationally gauge whether you’re a good match.

So, are you just infatuated? Or were you and your partner made for each other?

Let’s find out.

1) You seem to be made of the same cloth

They say that opposites attract, and while that may be true on some levels, studies show that we’re ultimately drawn to like-minded people who share our values, lifestyle choices, and personality traits.

The similarity is actually more important than you might realize.

Professor of Psychology Chris Crandall has said, “You try to create a social world where you’re comfortable, where you succeed, where you have people you can trust and with whom you can cooperate to meet your goals. To create this, similarity is very useful, and people are attracted to it most of the time.”

Based on my own experience, I can’t help but agree. Every time I dated someone who was very different from me, we eventually clashed too much because we couldn’t truly understand one another.

We didn’t feel seen.

And since connection and understanding play such a vital role in healthy long-term relationships, it stands to reason that dating someone who isn’t made of the same cloth as you will pose some difficulties.

2) You love each other’s scent

Okay, this one sounds a bit weird, but stay with me here.

As it turns out, scent plays a huge role in attraction. In fact, it can determine whether you and your partner are a good match on a biological level – if your partner smells so good you wish you could eat them up, it’s a great sign.

Don’t believe me?

Well, let the facts speak for themselves.

According to Psychology Today:

“While perfumes and colognes can initially attract someone’s attention, they pale in comparison to the major impact that human body odor has on sexual attraction. People are unconsciously attracted to pheromones that indicate sexual interest, as well as natural body odors indicating a strong and healthy immune system.”

If you generally love the scent of your partner’s sweat and natural body odor, it means you might be a good match in the sexual realm.

And that’s important because of our third sign…

3) You’re sexually compatible

Based on science, sexual compatibility is extremely important when it comes to relationship satisfaction.

Couples who have sex at least once a week are apparently the happiest.

When that frequency drops (and there are no external circumstances affecting it, such as having a baby), it could mean your sexual needs aren’t being met, which could potentially lead to issues within the relationship.

Of course, those issues can be solved. Every relationship goes through its own ups and downs, and at the end of the day, it’s not about what kinds of problems you encounter as much as the manner in which you decide to solve them together.

But sexual compatibility can go a long way seeing as sex fosters a sense of intimacy and vulnerability.

Not to mention it releases a great deal of feel-good hormones, helping you bond.

4) Your disagreements push your relationship forward

Speaking of problem-solving, another sign you and your partner were made for each other is that you’re both willing to put in the effort when it comes to effective communication, facing challenges, and working together as a team upon encountering a new obstacle.

Look, conflict is never comfortable.

But running away from it or pretending it doesn’t exist isn’t going to solve anything. On the contrary, it may make everything worse because you’ll quietly foster resentment and bitterness until you both explode one day.

This is why partners who are likely to have a healthy long-term relationship try their best to take a mature approach to conflict.

One of my friends, for example, has a weekly meeting with her fiancé where they discuss their plans for the week ahead, financial goals, and any issues that have come up during the week.

For example, she may have gotten a bit upset about the way he consoled her when she was feeling down (provided practical advice instead of emotional support, which wasn’t what she needed at the moment).

Instead of forgetting all about it, she made it a point in their weekly discussion. This way, all their problems get resolved in a timely manner, which means resentment doesn’t get any chance to grow and fester.

When they do disagree on something, they try to find a compromise instead of attempting to persuade each other of their truths. As a result, their relationship grows stronger – not weaker – through conflict.

5) Your inner children feel safe to come out

Have you ever spoken in a cute “baby voice” whilst in love with someone?

Baby voice is actually a pretty common phenomenon in romantic relationships where both partners feel safe to lay themselves bare and show their deepest vulnerabilities to one another.

Within each of us, there is a child who seeks love, attention, and a sense of belonging. And depending on what your childhood looked like, this child may be scared, wounded, and in need of reassurance.

Here are a few signs your inner child feels safe around your partner:

  • You aren’t afraid to engage in silly and playful behavior around them
  • You feel certain you can open up to your partner about the darkest parts of you, and they will accept you in your entirety
  • You can rely on your partner to be there for you when you feel down or when you’ve achieved an important milestone and want to celebrate
  • You never have to apply a filter over what you say – you can be your unadulterated authentic self around them

If you’ve ticked off all the boxes above…

Yay! This is yet another sign you and your partner were made for each other.

6) Your relationship is built on encouragement and support

One of the reasons your inner children feel safe when you’re together is that you wholeheartedly believe you wouldn’t intentionally cause harm to one another.

And there’s more. It’s not just about the certainty that you mean well – it’s about clear evidence that you both go above and beyond to show up for each other in big and small ways.

When your partner is going through a stressful time, seems to be on the verge of falling apart, and really wants to spend time with you, you cancel your regular meetup with friends to be there for them.

When they achieve something in their professional or personal life that makes you feel proud of them, you take them out to celebrate.

When they’re tired as hell, you make them a cup of tea and let them unwind.

Remember, this goes both ways.

What’s more, these kinds of expressions of love are built upon balance. Sometimes, you should sacrifice your comfort to support your partner; other times, your own mental health takes priority.

It’s all about nuance and context.

7) You aren’t just lovers – you’re best friends

It’s all good and well to be sexually compatible and to be deeply in love with one another, but do you know what’s even better?

When you’re genuinely best friends.

According to studies, couples who regard each other as their best friend are overall happier than those who don’t.

This makes sense when you think about it – while sexuality ebbs and flows, friendship tends to only grow stronger as time goes on.

And if you’re planning to spend the rest of your life with someone, shouldn’t they understand you on an intellectual and emotional level just as much – if not more – as they do on a physical one?

Exactly.

So, here’s a question for you: if you didn’t find your partner attractive, would you still want to be friends with them?

Your answer tells you everything you need to know.

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