Relationships are complicated. Sometimes, even when things are going well, it can feel like you’re stuck in a rut or not quite on the same page.

But as a relationship I can tell you that the truth is, a relationship doesn’t have to be perfect to be strong.

In fact, there are subtle signs that you and your partner are in a great place, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.

Today, we get into seven such signs. 

Let’s get to ’em. 

1) You communicate effectively even in tough times

This one is widely acknowledged by experts.

I don’t think I know anyone who would disagree, but I think psychotherapist Natacha Duke put it well when she said, “It’s kind of easy to have a relationship during the good times, but what really makes a relationship or bonds you as a couple is going through hard times together,”

But what does effective communication look like, especially when times are tough?

Well, it’s not just about expressing your feelings, but also understanding and empathizing with your partner’s.

In my years of working with couples, I’ve noticed that those in a healthy relationship have a knack for conveying their emotions, thoughts, and concerns in a respectful and considerate manner.

They don’t just talk; they listen – truly listen – to their partner’s perspectives.

Even when conflicts arise, they don’t resort to hurtful words or actions. Instead, they strive to resolve issues through open and honest dialogues.

Can you and your partner can talk about anything under the sun – from your deepest fears to your silliest anecdotes – and still feel heard and valued?

Good for you! That’s a clear sign that you’re in a great place in your relationship, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

2) You respect each other’s individuality

If you are a regular reader here, you will probably have heard this before, but I’ll say it again because it’s so important.  

Being in love doesn’t mean you have to merge into one.

Each of you is a unique individual with your own thoughts, interests, and passions.

A good relationship allows space for both to coexist and flourish, instead of one overshadowing the other.

If you and your partner can celebrate each other’s differences, encourage each other’s individual growth, and still come together as a team, then that’s a strong indicator that you’re in a very good place in your relationship.

A successful relationship is made up of two whole individuals.

It’s not about losing yourself in the relationship; it’s about growing together while still being true to who you are as individuals.

3) You disagree

How can disagreements be a sign of a healthy relationship? 

Well, in my experience, couples who never argue often don’t communicate effectively.

They’re often sweeping issues under the rug to avoid conflict, which can lead to resentment and misunderstanding over time.

On the other hand, couples in a good place aren’t afraid of healthy disagreements.

It seems other experts in the field would agree.

As noted by the folks at WebMD, “Even in a healthy relationship, you’ll have occasional disagreements and feel frustrated or angry with each other from time to time. However, partners who address conflict without judgment or contempt can often find a compromise or solution.”

People in a healthy relationship understand that differences of opinion are natural and can be opportunities for growth and understanding.

They know how to fight fair, express their views respectfully, and not let an argument escalate into a personal attack.

Basically, it’s not about never having disagreements; it’s about how you handle them. 

4) You have a healthy dependence

One of the misconceptions I often encounter in my line of work is that dependency in a relationship is always a bad thing.

That’s not completely accurate.

It’s not dependency that’s problematic, but codependency.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into the difference between the two.

Codependency can be harmful and destructive, leading to an unhealthy reliance on your partner for your happiness and self-worth.

Healthy dependence, on the other hand, is about understanding that it’s okay to lean on your partner for support while still maintaining your independence.

How can you know which you have? 

Well, I’d encourage you to read my book, of course, but for now, just know that if you and your partner can support one another without losing sight of your individual lives, that’s a sign you’re in a very good place in your relationship.

You should be able to stand on your own but choose to stand together.

Having this balance signifies strength in your partnership, even if it doesn’t always feel like it.

5) You’re not afraid to be vulnerable

Let’s get real for a moment. Love can be messy.

It’s not always sunshine and rainbows.

And anyone who tells you otherwise is probably not telling the whole truth.

In a strong, healthy relationship, there’s room for vulnerability.

There’s room for fear, doubt, insecurity, and all those raw emotions that we often try to hide.

Being able to show your true self – the good, the bad, and the ugly – to your partner without the fear of being judged or rejected is a sign of trust and intimacy. 

6) You grow together

When my husband and I first started dating, we were both in very different places in our lives.

But what has kept us going strong is our shared commitment to grow and evolve together.

A good relationship is not stagnant.

It evolves, just as the people in it do. The key is to ensure that you’re growing together, not apart.

This involves supporting each other’s personal and professional goals, learning from each other, and becoming better individuals together.

7) You accept each other’s flaws

No one is perfect. We all come with our own set of flaws and imperfections. And guess what?

That’s okay.

In a healthy relationship, you don’t just tolerate each other’s flaws – you accept them.

You understand that your partner is a human, prone to making mistakes and having weaknesses, just like you.

And you love them for who they are, not despite their flaws, but including them.

Conclusion

In the ups and downs of a relationship, it can be easy to lose sight of the bigger picture and only focus on what feels off.

Relating and connecting with another human being on such a deep level is complex.

It’s not always going to be smooth sailing.

But if you can relate to these signs, take heart. You’re doing better than you think.

As always, thanks for reading, and I hope you found some value in this post. 

For more insights on maintaining a healthy relationship, check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

My hope is that it will provide you with the tools to nurture your relationship further.