Remember the True Love compatibility game kids used to play back when they were in high school? 

If you’re not familiar with this, it’s a game where you write down your and your crush’s name on a piece of paper, and then tally how many times each letter in “TRUE LOVE” appears in both your names. Add it all up, and you’ve got your “Compatibility Percentage.”

How I wish it were that easy in real life! But sadly, it’s not. Knowing if you and your partner are highly compatible takes a lot more than adding up some meaningless numbers. 

Fortunately, psychology can help us take much of the guesswork out of it. 

If you want to know if you and your SO have a great vibe going on, here are 11 signs, according to psychologists: 

1) You’re attracted to each other in a variety of ways

First up, I’ll ask the obvious: are you physically attracted to each other? Physical attraction is an important component of chemistry, that electric spark that connects the two of you from the start. 

Not only that, but research also shows that being physically attracted to your partner is linked to greater marriage satisfaction and longevity. It does play a role in long-term relationship outcomes. 

That said, physical attraction is not the be-all and end-all. For a couple to be truly compatible, they need to be attracted to all the other things about their partner – the mind. The heart. The personality. 

These actually make more of an impact than physical attraction. Why? Because looks fade. 

And then what are we left with? Their mind. Their heart. Their personality. 

And if we find those elements a bit meh, well, there’d be a great deal of friction or boredom, wouldn’t it? 

This brings me to the next point…

2) You like each other just the way you are

A friend of mine once told me that she wakes up super early every morning so she can put on a little makeup before her partner sees her. 

Another one told me that the thing she hates most about going out on dates with her boyfriend is that she has to hold her farts in. (Yes, you read that right.)

Yet another one said that she needs to tone down her laughter because her SO prefers that she act “more like a lady”. 

Uhm, that gives you a clue if they’re compatible or not, doesn’t it?

Highly compatible couples don’t just love each other. They like each other, flaws and all. Attraction is just one side of the coin; respect and friendship are the other. 

New research shows that satisfaction and well-being in married couples are about twice as large for those whose spouse is also their best friend. 

So if you’re free to be yourself with your partner, then that’s a really great sign!    

3) You laugh together

This is closely connected to my previous point. When you like each other, there’s bound to be lots of those “live, laugh, love” moments. 

This is actually one of the best pieces of relationship advice I’ve come across – find someone who makes you laugh; funny is forever. 

And this bit from Andrew Carnegie: “There is little success where there is little laughter.” Applies to all of life, including relationships. 

Humor and laughing together boosts excitement, intimacy, and friendship, according to the folks at Marriage.com: 

“Any happy couple laughing together inevitably views their significant other as their go-to person. They usually consider their beloved to be their best friend. Therefore, couples laughing together usually stay committed to each other. Such couples are friends first and lovers second.” 

That’s why shared humor and laughter are solid signs of compatibility.

4) You have shared values

Just like humor, shared values make a couple more compatible. Psychologists say this is absolutely essential if you want a relationship that goes the distance. 

Why? 

Well, our life philosophies and values are what guide our behavior, right? So if you’re operating from wildly different mindsets, there’s going to be trouble down the road. 

For instance, I once had a boyfriend who had a strong adventurous streak. Meanwhile, I am all about the “dull woman” life – reading books, exploring art hobbies, doing things that most people would find boring.

We had a good thing going for a while because we were very attracted to each other, both physically and intellectually. But in the end, we had to part ways because we had different visions of our future. 

It’s sad when incompatibility like this happens, really, when you love each other but have different values. I guess it’s true what they say, sometimes love just ain’t enough. 

5) You have common interests – but also the space for separate interests

My husband and I have a few shared interests. We love going to the beach, watching foreign films, and we’re both dog lovers. We make it a point to spend time together no matter how crazy our schedules get. 

But we’re also free to do our own thing – some weekends, he goes camping or biking with his buddies, while I stay home and paint. 

I feel like this regular coming together and pulling apart makes for a more interesting dynamic. Our life together has a rhythm that feels both comfortable and exciting. 

That’s how it is for highly compatible couples. Having shared interests makes it easier to connect. At the same time, individual growth is important. 

As Dr. Ilene Strauss Cohen of Psychology Today puts it: 

“A solid and healthy marriage is not just about how well we can merge our lives with our partners but also how effectively we can support each other in becoming the best versions of ourselves.”

6) You can understand and speak each other’s love language

Do two people need to have the same love language to be compatible? 

Short answer: no. 

But having matching love languages does make them highly compatible. It’s just easier to feel loved when you both give and receive love the same way. 

That said, if your love language is different from your partner’s, don’t write the connection off right away. 

The key lies in awareness and adaptation. Once you understand your partner’s love language, you can express your affection in ways that resonate most with them. 

For instance, if you know your partner cherishes Quality Time, you might carve out regular periods just to be together, even if your personal preference is receiving Gifts. 

It’s about making that effort to bridge the gap between different expressions of love. Because ultimately, that means…

7) You’re on similar wavelengths emotionally

What exactly does this mean? 

Basically, just being in tune with each other. You can tell when your partner is happy, sad, angry, and all that. 

You can communicate what you’re feeling and have all sorts of conversations with them. 

If they need anything, you have the openness of heart to fulfill that need. 

The bottom line is, when you’re on similar emotional wavelengths, it’s easier to develop a deep emotional connection. You’ll both feel heard and seen.  

8) You make disagreements work for the good of the relationship

Now, just because you’re highly compatible doesn’t mean you’ll never argue. Life doesn’t work that way. 

But you have an edge because instead of letting arguments drive you apart, you actually use it to bring you closer. 

You can use it to learn more about what your partner wants. And it’s also a way to show you care! 

Because really, show me a couple who never argues, and chances are, they’ve just stopped caring. 

If you’re highly compatible, you both see arguments and conflict in this light – it’s a challenge to solve together. That’s the emotional equivalent of two people rowing a boat in the same direction.

9) You trust each other completely

When you’re highly compatible, trust comes naturally, just like everything else on this list. 

Given all the things you share together, and the freedom to be yourself with each other, you feel respected and safe. 

You don’t waste energy on doubts about their intentions or actions because you’ve seen evidence of their reliability and integrity time and again. 

According to psychologist Mert Seker, “Trust and reliability are crucial for romantic and all relationships. If your partner exhibits constant distrust – calling, questioning, monitoring your social media – it signals a lack of trust. This kind of relationship that isn’t based on trust may not last very long or (be) healthy, either.”

In short, if you’re always dealing with trust issues, you might not be as compatible as you think. 

10) You like each other’s family

Dr. Seker also points out that “Marriages are made between two people on paper, but in reality, the families of both parties are involved.”

So, how do compatible couples fare in this area? 

Well, they tend to genuinely like each other’s families, often because their affection for each other naturally extends to their loved ones.

In my case, when I got married, I didn’t have any of those typical in-law problems. I truly enjoyed (and still do) bonding with my husband’s family, as he does with mine. 

And that’s despite the huge differences in our families’ cultures. I would say it’s simply because our love and respect for each other naturally flow into our interactions with each other’s families. 

11) You share the load

Finally, highly compatible couples are all about the whole team mindset. There’s no scorekeeping or one-upping. 

Collaboration is the name of the game. They have their own system to make sure that no one partner feels overburdened. 

They might distribute responsibilities based on their strengths and schedules. And they adapt during extraordinary circumstances that mess with the system. 

Like I said earlier, being compatible means being more in tune with what your partner needs. That’s why it’s easier for them to step up and take up their share of the load. 

Final thoughts

So, how do you measure up? If you’re grinning from ear to ear, congratulations! You’ve got yourself a keeper. 

And if you find that you’re not where you want to be yet, don’t worry. It’s entirely possible to overcome incompatibility and still share a beautiful relationship. 

As long as you’re willing to accept and respect each other’s differences, and work on being more emotionally in tune, you can come to a point where things fall into place more naturally.