Relationships really are at the heart of our well-being. I talked about this recently while diving into the insights from an 80-year Harvard study—the longest research project ever conducted on human happiness.

If you aren’t familiar with it, the researchers found that the secret to a happy and healthy life isn’t found in our bank accounts or the plaques on our office walls, but in our connections with others.

But here’s the thing: we all grow and change at our own pace. Sometimes, the relationships that once felt so right might not fit quite as well anymore, especially romantic ones.

Do you find yourself wondering if you and your partner are still on the same page? Or if the relationship you’re in is still fostering your growth?

Well, let’s talk about that. 

Today, we look at five psychology-backed signs that suggest you’ve outgrown your current relationship. 

Let’s rip off that band-aid.

1) You don’t feel the urge to share things with them 

Remember when you couldn’t wait to share every little detail of your day with your partner? 

You know, whether it was a small win at work or a funny incident on the bus ride home, they were the first person you wanted to call. 

If that all seems like a distant memory, it’s a bad sign, unfortunately.

As psychologist Marianna Plata has pointed out, losing the urge to share news with your partner is a significant indicator that you may have outgrown them. 

This sentiment is echoed by relationship expert Rori Sassoon, who told INSIDER, “One red flag that you are growing apart is when something good (or bad) happens to you, and you don’t want to tell your partner first.”

The reasons behind this shift can vary. 

Maybe sharing feels more like a burden than a joy, or perhaps you worry they won’t be interested or understand your experiences. It might even feel like sharing with them doesn’t bring the same support or excitement it used to. 

Whatever the reason, when your partner is no longer your go-to confidant or at least one of them, it’s worth considering how your paths might be diverging.

2) You simply want different things in life 

I’ve talked before about how crucial it is to be on the same page with your partner if you want a lasting relationship. 

When you start wanting different things in life, big things, it’s a clear signal that something might be off.

What sort of “big” things?

Well, maybe you’re dreaming of starting a family, but your partner is completely content living a child-free life. Or perhaps you’ve got this burning desire to pack up and move to a new city while they can’t imagine leaving your current hometown. 

Are these differences starting to worry you? Do you find yourself hesitating to bring up these topics because you fear your partner isn’t ready or willing to hear them?

As relationship expert LeslieBeth Wish highlighted to Elite Daily, this is another sign of outgrowing your partner. When your visions for the future clash without a clear resolution in sight, it can create a rift in your connection. 

If you’re no longer aligned on such issues, it might be a sign that the relationship isn’t equipped to fulfill your evolving needs.

3) You just don’t enjoy hanging out with them like you used to 

So, let’s say you’re planning how to spend your weekend and realize that you’re not really looking forward to spending that time with your partner like you used to. Maybe you even avoid it. 

Sound familiar? You might ask yourself, “Why do I feel this way?”

Well, it could be because you have just outgrown each other. It’s a tough realization, but sometimes, the excitement and enjoyment of each other’s company can fade.

Of course, it’s completely normal to want some space and enjoy time apart now and then. 

But if you find that you’re constantly seeking time away from your partner rather than with them, that’s a red flag. Relationship expert Rori Sassoon put it succinctly: “Your partner should be the person you want to relax and vacay with — not the person that you need a vacation from.”

4) You fight a lot now

Here’s one you might have expected: You fight a lot. 

I’m not talking about the occasional disagreement; I mean constant, draining conflicts that start from the smallest things. 

When every little issue escalates into a full-blown argument, it’s a sign that there might be deeper, unresolved issues at play. Frequent fighting can indicate that you and your partner are possibly moving in different emotional or life directions, and these underlying tensions surface through these conflicts. 

If resolving conflicts feels more like a battle than a bridge-building exercise, it might be time to reflect on what you’re really fighting for and whether it’s a sign that you’ve outgrown the relationship.

5) …Or worse yet, you have given up on fighting

Have you reached a point where you can’t see eye-to-eye on major issues? Does it feel like talking things through is pointless because you’re just going around in circles or hitting a brick wall?

Well, I’m sorry to say, but it’s a bad sign.

I probably don’t need to tell you that communication is the bedrock of a healthy relationship, and when it stops, it’s a very obvious problem. 

Devon Jorge, the founder of Trillium Counseling, has warned about this very issue. He said, “Avoiding difficult relationship issues altogether or having them become explosive to the point you can’t talk about them anymore should be a red flag in any relationship.”

It’s understandable, of course. After much conflict and hurt, avoidance can be a defense mechanism against repeated frustration or disappointment. 

However, shying away from these discussions means you’re missing out on opportunities to understand each other better and work through differences constructively. 

If you have given up on the hard talks, it might be time to reflect on what’s keeping you in the relationship and whether the foundation is still solid enough to build on.

The bottom line 

Recognizing the signs that you’ve outgrown a relationship can be tough, but it’s crucial for your personal growth and happiness. 

If you find yourself nodding along to these signs, it might be time to take a step back and evaluate your relationship. 

Remember, growth is a natural part of life, and sometimes, it means moving on from relationships that no longer serve us. Trust your instincts, consider what you truly need and deserve, and take the necessary steps to ensure your emotional well-being. 

Every ending is also an opportunity for a new beginning.