10 signs that someone can’t stop thinking about you, according to psychology
As Huey Lewis taught us in the 1980s, “The power of love is a curious thing.” And indeed it is.
Maybe someday Doc will stop obsessing about time travel and concentrate on a mind-reading device so we’ll know when we’re in someone’s thoughts.
Can you imagine how much time that would free up for everybody?
Until then, we’ll have to take our cues from psychology to suss that out. Here are a few signs that someone can’t stop thinking about you, according to psychology.
1) It’s the little things
Little things that suggest you’re in someone’s thoughts are usually overlooked, as tends to happen with little things.
If you cross someone’s mind frequently, they’ll probably recall small details about your life you’ve shared with them in the past.
Or, like in my case many years ago, they were in cahoots with your mother and got a lot of intel that way.
Let me set the scene.
One New Year’s Eve, my mother insisted I drop by a neighborhood party. She was really selling this shindig hard, so I figured I’d better make an appearance or risk the wrath of Mom.
When I (finally) showed up, a guy I knew from the neighborhood was there, and we started talking.
At one point he asked me if I still loved the Beatles and if I was OK after breaking up with my boyfriend.
I was flabbergasted.
“How did you know that?” I asked.
“I have my ways,” he replied.
“I told him,” my mother said.
I was set up!
But I was OK with that. That guy’s attention to detail made him all the more attractive to me.
2) They want to know everything about you
Studies suggest that another clear indication that someone can’t get you off of their mind is their compulsion to “research” you in the hopes of figuring out if you have feelings for them.
Or not.
This person is eager to devour every detail of your life story.
If someone is asking you (or your mother) lots of questions about your favorite hobbies, taste in music, or your childhood memories—it’s fair to say that they’re thinking about you. Maybe even a lot.
3) Body language
Here’s the deal in a nutshell:
If the person in question is leaning in toward you, initiating and maintaining eye contact, and finding reasons to touch you (even high fives count) they may be interested in you as more than a friend.
So if someone is hanging on your every word, laughing at your mid-at-best jokes, and batting their eyes at you, I say go for it.
4) Vocal tone
How does this person’s voice sound when you two are talking?
You’ve never noticed?
Well, pay attention, my friend, because according to psychology you can tell a lot from someone’s vocal tone and volume.
Why?
Because whenever this certain someone is with you, or talking about you, their tone of voice usually changes.
If someone is interested in you, their speech will be more animated and their voice may become higher-pitched. They’ll also probably laugh a lot, smile like a Cheshire cat, and hope you don’t think they’re weird.
5) They keep the ball rolling
Another indication that someone has you on their mind is that they’re not afraid to initiate contact with you. Well, they may be afraid, but they do it anyway, and that says a lot.
Whether it’s a text, a quick call checking in, or even interacting on social media, reaching out takes effort (and guts) and it’s a pretty reliable indication that they’re thinking about you.
Studies reveal that human beings are predisposed to reach out to the people they feel a connection with. It goes back to our factory-installed desire for social association and interaction.
So if there’s someone who’s consistently reaching out to you, it’s safe to say they’re thinking about you.
6) They think you’re the bee’s knees
Yes, I said bee’s knees. Forgot what century I was in for a moment.
A research study suggests that idealization is a pretty clear sign that someone is romantically interested in you. They’ll believe you can do no wrong and put you on a pedestal.
Of course, falling off one’s pedestal can be traumatic for both of you, so enjoy the infatuation phase while you can.
7) They talk you up to their friends
When you discover via the grapevine (or your mother) that someone’s singing your praises to anyone who’ll listen, they’re probably investing a great deal of time in thoughts of you.
People don’t feel the need to talk about someone they aren’t interested in pursuing, so if your social circle informs you that your crush is bringing up your name frequently, that’s a very encouraging sign.
But, before you start planning the wedding, it’s a good idea to evaluate what’s been said to gauge their intentions.
Were they gushing over you, or sharing an anecdote you told them, or, heaven forbid, casting you into the dreaded friend zone?
Better to gain some clarity than count your chickens before they’ve hatched, right?
8) They mirror your movements
Have you ever caught someone subconsciously copying your facial expressions or gestures?
That’s an encouraging sign. After all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
Psychologists call this phenomenon mirroring, and it suggests that the copycat in question thinks about you a lot.
Mirroring is our subconscious way of establishing connection with someone and encouraging a sense of familiarity.
Their inner thoughts of you spill over into their actions, causing them to mirror your movements without being consciously aware of it.
So if you observe someone mirroring your actions, pay attention. According to psychology, they’re probably thinking about you a lot more than you realize.
9) They’re jittery around you
Have you ever been around someone who seems a little nervous around you?
Keep in mind that when we’re around someone who occupies our thoughts, it’s human nature to get a little jittery.
The fear of putting your foot in your mouth or the pressure to make a good impression is immense, so being a touch nervous is understandable.
Of course, this person may be acting jumpy because you give them the heebie-jeebies. Make every effort to ensure this is not the case before making a move so you don’t scar them for life.
10) They’ll move mountains to help you out
If you’re up against work deadlines or buried with other responsibilities and there’s that one kind soul who’s always there to lend a helping hand—well, chances are you have an admirer.
According to psychological research, acts of service are definitely a love language and another sign that someone is probably romantically interested in you.
This person has a knack for knowing when you need help and will find any excuse to be of assistance and make your life a little bit easier.
Sounds like a keeper to me.
Final thoughts
When all is said and done, there’s only one sure way to know if someone’s thinking about you, and that’s by asking them.
Not many of us are that confident and impetuous, so we have to rely on psychology to let us know if we’re crossing that certain someone’s mind.
Hopefully, this article will be useful to that end. Good luck out there.