We all know that person who just doesn’t sit right with us, right?

They may seem charming, but something tells us they’re not as good-hearted as they appear.

I’ve got some news for you – your gut instinct may be spot on.

Psychologists indicate there are certain telltale signs that someone might not be the nice person they portray themselves to be.

So read on for your guide to spotting the not-so-nice people in your life, according to experts in the field. 

1) They’re constantly negative

Negativity is a real downer, isn’t it?

If you’re around someone who constantly complains, brings others down, or always sees the worst in situations, chances are they’re not as nice as they could be.

A constant negative attitude can be a clear sign that someone isn’t a genuinely good-hearted person.

Psychology suggests that negative people tend to drain the energy from those around them with their pessimistic outlook.

Sure, we all have our bad days. But if you notice someone’s negativity is more habitual than occasional, it may be time to reconsider just how nice this person really is.

So in your day-to-day interactions, keep an eye out for constant negativity. It might just be revealing a not-so-nice side of someone’s personality.

2) They always play the victim

Ever met someone who’s always at the center of drama?

They’re constantly claiming to be the victim, no matter what the situation is.

I once knew a person who would always twist stories so they would appear as the innocent party. Whether it was a minor disagreement at work or an argument with a friend, they were always the one being wronged.

Psychologists suggest this kind of behavior may indicate that someone isn’t as nice as they portray themselves to be.

Playing the victim allows them to manipulate situations and people to their advantage, while avoiding accountability for their actions.

So if you find yourself constantly hearing sob stories from someone who never seems to be at fault, it may be a sign that they’re not as kind-hearted as they seem.

3) They’re rarely happy for others

When good things happen to others, most of us feel genuine happiness for them. It’s a natural human reaction.

But for some, this isn’t the case.

Research indicates that those who struggle to share in others’ joy might not be as nice as they appear. Instead of celebrating others’ successes, they might feel threatened or envious.

This lack of empathy can be a clear sign that someone is more self-focused than kind-hearted.

So next time you notice someone struggling to cheer on others, bear in mind this could be a red flag about their true character.

4) They’re quick to judge

Ever been around someone who seems to have an opinion about everyone and everything?

They make snap judgments and are quick to label others without really getting to know them.

Psychologists suggest that those who are quick to judge often lack empathy and understanding, key traits of a truly nice person.

It’s easy to label and categorize, but it takes a kind person to understand and accept others for who they are.

So, if you notice someone is often too judgmental, it might be a sign they aren’t as nice as they seem.

5) They struggle to apologize

We all make mistakes, it’s part of being human. But the ability to sincerely apologize for our wrongdoings is a clear sign of maturity and kindness.

However, some people find it incredibly hard to say “I’m sorry”. Instead of owning up to their mistakes, they will:

• Deflect blame
• Make excuses
• Try to minimize the issue 

A person’s inability to apologize can be a significant hint that they aren’t as nice as they appear. This is because genuine apologies require humility and empathy, traits often lacking in not-so-nice individuals.

So next time you’re dealing with someone who can’t seem to muster an apology, remember this could be a sign of their true character.

6) They lack compassion

We’ve all experienced moments of hardship. It’s during these times that the compassion of others can truly make a difference.

But for some people, showing compassion doesn’t come naturally. They may struggle to show empathy, or they might not seem to care when others are going through tough times.

A lack of compassion is a strong sign that someone may not be as nice as they appear.

Why?

Because compassion lies at the heart of kindness, and without it, a person’s true colors may start to show.

So if you notice that someone struggles to empathize with others, take it as a possible sign of their true nature. Their lack of compassion may be revealing a not-so-nice side of their character.

7) They’re never there when you need them

There’s something to be said about those who stick around when things get tough. It’s easy to be a friend during the good times, but true colors shine through in moments of difficulty.

I remember a time when I was going through a rough patch.

It was one of those friends who was always there for me, offering support and a listening ear.

But there were others who suddenly became distant, only showing up when the storm had passed.

Psychologists suggest that friends who disappear in times of need might not be as nice as they seem. True kindness means being there for others, even when it’s not convenient.

So if you have someone in your life who only shows up in the good times, it could be a sign they’re not as nice as they appear to be.

8) They’re reliable… until they’re not

Reliability is a key trait of a nice person. You know you can count on them, no matter what.

But some people seem reliable until the moment you truly need them.

These people might make promises they don’t keep or flake out at the last minute. Suddenly, their reliability falls by the wayside when it’s most needed.

As reliability goes hand in hand with honesty, inconsistent reliability can be a sign that someone isn’t as nice as they portray themselves to be.

A truly nice person is dependable, through thick and thin.

So if you notice someone’s reliability wavers when it matters most, it could be a red flag about their character.

9) They lack respect for boundaries

Respect for others’ boundaries is fundamental in any relationship. Whether it’s personal space, time, or emotional boundaries, a nice person understands and respects these limits.

However, some people seem oblivious to or dismissive of these boundaries. They might overstep or ignore them entirely, without regard for the discomfort or distress it causes.

Psychologists point out that a disregard for boundaries is a clear indication of disrespect. Respecting boundaries indicates empathy and consideration, traits intrinsic to genuinely nice individuals.

So if you come across someone who continually crosses boundaries, take note. This could be the most crucial sign that they’re not as nice as they appear.

Final reflection: It’s about empathy

At the heart of it all, you can tell how nice someone is by their empathy levels.

Empathy, the ability to understand and share the feelings of others is an integral part of who we are as social beings.

Psychologists often point out that those lacking empathy tend to exhibit behaviors we associate with not-so-nice individuals. 

So as you navigate your relationships, remember this crucial aspect. Understand that true kindness is rooted in empathy, and its absence can reveal more than we sometimes wish to see.

But at the same time, remember that people can grow and change. So these signs should be guideposts rather than definitive judgments.