Have you ever wondered if someone is secretly in love with you? You know they like you, but do they love you? 

Most likely, if you’re asking this question, you are already in a relationship with this person, but they haven’t dropped the ‘L bomb’ just yet, and you’re just not sure.

We often think it should be clear as day, but knowing if someone is in love with us can be hard to figure out sometimes. Often people can be scared to express their love for fear of rejection. 

So, how do we really know if they love us?

Below are 7 common signs that psychologists have discovered which indicate that someone might be in love.

1) Genuine happiness in your presence

Have you noticed that the person in question seems truly happy when you’re together? They smile, their eyes twinkle, and they seem relaxed and comfortable.

When someone experiences genuine happiness in your presence, it may be a sign that they are in love with you. 

Psychologically, this happiness stems from the release of neurotransmitters like dopamine and oxytocin, often associated with positive emotions and bonding. 

When someone is in love, their brain associates your company with joy and comfort, triggering the release of these “feel-good” chemicals. 

This emotional response is a subconscious reflection of their deep emotional connection and affection. The person may find happiness simply by being around you, as your presence brings them a unique sense of joy and fulfillment that goes beyond ordinary friendships. 

2) You’re in their plans for the future

Have you ever dated someone and they planned a future for themselves, not once asking you for your advice? Or inviting you to join them? Maybe you’ve known you weren’t in love with someone else and have done this yourself! 

Either way, if someone doesn’t want to share or plan a future with another person, that’s a big sign that there isn’t love there.

When someone is genuinely in love, they want the other person to share their life with them. 

Sometimes they will straight up ask you to be a part of their future, or if they are worried that you might not reciprocate the feelings they may hint about these things instead. And if you ask to be included they should respond with enthusiasm.

A study by Hazan and Shaver found that adult romantic relationships echo the patterns of attachment formed in early childhood. Inclusion in future plans indicates a secure attachment style, where the person feels comfortable and safe envisioning a shared future. 

This act isn’t just about plans; it’s a sign of their emotional investment, a declaration that your presence is vital to their long-term happiness and fulfillment.

3) They prioritize your needs

How do you feel when someone makes you and your needs a priority? I know I feel loved and cared for. I feel special. I feel closer to that person.

When someone makes your needs a priority, it’s a beautiful sign they might be in love with you. 

This kind of behavior aligns with the concept of “interdependence theory,” which explores how individuals in close relationships (when they are in love) prioritize each other’s needs. 

There is another study that also highlights this. It says that in loving relationships, people naturally focus on the well-being of their partner. When someone consistently puts your needs first, it reflects a deep emotional connection and a commitment to your happiness. 

This selfless act goes beyond mere care; it’s an expression of love and a desire to nurture the relationship.

It mirrors the idea that, in love, one person’s joy and contentment become intertwined with the other’s, creating a bond built on mutual care and consideration.

4) They’re protective of you

I know you might be thinking, “Is this really a sign that someone is in love with me?”

And yes it is. Being protective and being jealous are very different concepts.

When someone is protective of you, they’re looking after you. They want to keep you safe. They’re showing that they care because they love you. 

Hazan and Shaver also suggest that this protective behavior is a reflection of a secure attachment style, where the person feels a deep responsibility for your well-being.

So, when you feel their protective presence, it’s more than just care; it’s a silent declaration of love, a commitment to keeping you safe.

5) Compliments, flirting and touching

How do you feel when someone showers you with compliments, engages in playful flirting, and initiates gentle touches?

This can be a heartfelt sign that they might be in love with you. 

When someone is in love, these behaviors become expressions of affection that their emotional investment in you. The compliments uplift you, the flirting adds a playful spark, and the touches show a desire for closeness, all woven together to communicate a deep connection.

A psychological study was conducted on the accuracy of interpreting emotions through touch. Their findings suggested that people can accurately convey a range of emotions, including love and gratitude, through touch.

Sure someone will compliment you, flirt with you, and possibly touch you more than others when you first meet. But if it continues long into your relationship with them, then it’s more than likely that this person has fallen in love. 

6) Opening up emotionally

This is a big one. If someone has fallen for you they will begin to trust you more than the other people in their lives. They will start to rely on your support. And this will then result in them opening up emotionally.

If you begin to think you’re a proper team, then you likely are in it for the long haul.

Do they confide in you? Do they tell you things that they’re not meant to share with anyone? Have they shared tough stories about their past? Are they telling you about their hopes and dreams?

These are sure signs that the person in question is opening up to you and is probably in love with you.

Everyone is different, so you’ll need to keep in mind how open they were when you first met them, and whether that has changed or not.

If it has, great! If it hasn’t, then they’re probably not quite there with you yet.

There is an interesting study that delves into the concept of intimacy in relationships, emphasizing that sharing personal thoughts and feelings fosters emotional closeness.

By letting their guard down, this person is demonstrating that you provide them comfort and security. Your relationship has developed to a point where they can expose their authentic self without fear of judgment.   

7) Positive changes in behavior

Have you noticed this person making positive changes in their life lately? Are they pursuing goals they’ve put off or adopting healthier habits? If the answer is yes, it may be because you inspire them to be their best self.

When someone is in love, they often feel motivated to improve, to nurture the relationship. According to Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, self-actualization and nurturing relationships are strong motivators for personal growth.

A study on the impact of love on personal growth suggests that being in love can lead to positive changes in a person’s behavior and attitudes.

So if you find your partner putting more effort into their passions, overcoming bad habits, or striving for self-improvement, it’s likely you who spurs these changes.

They want to share their best self with you out of affection and care!

The positive influence you have on this person reflects the meaning and inspiration you bring to their life. In this way, positive change inspired by you is an outward manifestation of inner transformation and commitment.

It’s evidence that your bond is encouraging their personal evolution and their desire to nourish your connection. And that is a sign of love.