7 signs someone is highly attracted to you but doesn’t want to seem too eager

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | July 15, 2024, 9:05 pm

Ever tried to figure out the mixed signals from a crush? It’s like tackling a Rubik’s cube blindfolded, right? Well, fear not—I’ve got your back.

In the mysterious world of attraction, there are these subtle hints that someone’s really into you but doesn’t want to appear too keen. I’ve spent years navigating this landscape, and I’ve got some insights to share.

Before we whip out the magnifying glass and start sleuthing these signs, remember: attraction isn’t an exact science. But with my years in the love biz, I’ve noticed some pretty consistent patterns.

So, buckle up as we dive into the 7 signs someone’s totally into you but trying to play it cool. Let’s unravel the mysteries of attraction together!

1) They find ways to be near you

In the intricate dance of attraction, physical proximity plays a starring role.

Ever noticed that certain someone always seems to be around? Maybe they ‘accidentally’ bump into you in the hallway, sit next to you at group outings, or manage to be at the same parties. Coincidence? I think not.

While they may not consciously realize what they’re doing, being physically close is a subconscious way of expressing attraction. It’s their way of saying “Hey, I like being around you” without actually having to say it.

It’s subtle and can easily be brushed off as happenstance. But if you notice this pattern repeating, it’s a good sign that someone is highly attracted to you and doesn’t want to seem too eager.

2) They keep a safe distance

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Didn’t we just say that they find ways to be near you? Well, yes. But here’s the catch.

Attraction is a tricky game, especially when someone doesn’t want to seem too eager. So while they might be drawn towards you like a moth to a flame, they also understand the art of playing it cool.

You’ll find these individuals maintaining a certain safe distance even when they are around you. It’s their way of balancing their need to be close to you without crossing any lines or invading your personal space.

Intriguing, right? But that’s the beauty of this delicate dance of attraction.

3) They mirror your actions

This is one of those fascinating little gems of human behavior I cover in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s this subconscious thing we do when we’re attracted to someone: we start mirroring their actions.

Ever noticed your crush mirroring your body language, gestures, or even your way of speaking? It’s not just a random occurrence—it’s a subtle sign of attraction.

Mirroring is like a silent signal saying, “Hey, we’re on the same wavelength!” It builds a sense of closeness and ease between two people.

So, if you catch them unconsciously imitating your moves or quirks, it could be a hint that they’re into you but trying to play it cool.

It’s one of those little hints that you might pick up on if you’re paying close attention—and believe me, it’s worth keeping an eye out for!

4) They remember the little things

There’s a quote by Maya Angelou that I’ve always held dear, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

This idea also applies to attraction. When someone is interested in you but wants to keep it low-key, they tend to remember the little things about you. It’s their subtle way of showing they care about you and your experiences.

They might recall your favorite coffee order or that story you shared about your childhood pet. Maybe they notice that band you mentioned loving, and suddenly, it’s popping up more in their playlist.

These small details might not seem like much, but to them, it’s their way of expressing interest without being too forward. They’re storing away these little snippets of information because to them, it’s not just casual conversation—it’s valuable insight into your world.

5) They make an effort with your friends

Friends, they’re like the gateway to our hearts, aren’t they?

It’s something I’ve observed in my own life and years of relationship advice—when someone’s really into you, they’ll go out of their way to connect with your friends.

They get that your friends are like an extension of you, so building a bond with them is just as crucial as building one with you. You’ll catch them striking up conversations with your bestie or remembering your roommate’s birthday.

It’s their subtle way of blending into your life without coming off too strong. And let’s face it, it’s always a good sign when someone wants to know the people who matter to you.

So, the next time they’re making an extra effort to mingle with your friends or show interest in their lives, pay attention—it’s one of those signs that they’re into you but trying to keep it cool.

6) They listen… and I mean really listen

As the great Stephen R. Covey once said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” But when someone is attracted to you, you’ll find them breaking this norm.

They won’t just hear your words; they’ll truly listen and take in what you’re saying. They’ll engage, ask follow-up questions, and genuinely care about your thoughts and feelings. 

From what I’ve seen, when someone is genuinely interested in you but doesn’t want to come on too strong, they’ll focus on really understanding you, not just waiting for their chance to talk. This level of attentiveness to your words is a subtle yet beautiful sign of hidden attraction.

And if you’d like to delve deeper into matters of the heart, make sure to follow me on Facebook. I share all my latest articles there, so you can keep up with the conversation and explore love’s fascinating intricacies together!

7) They get a little nervous around you

Let’s get real for a moment: when someone’s into you but doesn’t want to come off too strong, they might actually get a little nervous around you.

Yep, even the most self-assured folks can stumble over their words, fidget, or even blush when they’re around someone they’re attracted to. It’s a human thing that shows vulnerability.

It doesn’t mean they’re always a jittery mess in your presence. But you might pick up on subtle changes in their behavior—maybe they’re not as smooth as usual, or they seem a bit more self-conscious about how they look.

Remember, attraction isn’t about being flawless—it’s about making a connection. And sometimes those little quirks—the nervous chuckle, the awkward pause—are the most authentic signs of attraction.

Final thoughts

Attraction is like this intricate dance, full of subtle moves and hidden meanings that we humans engage in. We’ve touched on some of the signs that someone’s really into you but doesn’t want to come on too strong. But remember, everyone’s different, so how they show attraction can vary.

But let’s zoom out for a moment. Understanding attraction is just one piece of the puzzle. There’s a whole world out there beyond decoding signs and signals—it’s about forging connections, growing together, and sharing moments.

On that note, I highly recommend checking out a video by Justin Brown. He delves deep into the complexities of finding a life partner, drawing from his own experiences and reflections after a less-than-stellar date. It’s a thought-provoking watch that expands on the themes we’ve been discussing here.

YouTube video

Remember, relationships are about more than just attraction. They’re about shared values, growth, and mutual support. So as you navigate this journey of understanding attraction, don’t forget to look beyond the signs to the deeper connection that lies beneath.

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