It’s one thing to feel unhappy, but it’s another thing entirely to hide it.

People often conceal their unhappiness for many reasons, including not wanting to burden others with their feelings or simply being in denial.

Psychology, however, has a way of revealing the truth. As it turns out, there are certain signs that indicate someone is deeply unhappy, even if they won’t openly admit it.

In this article, we’ll explore 9 of these telltale signs.

Read on, and hopefully, you’ll gain a deeper understanding of what might be going on beneath the surface for those around you.

1) They’ve become a master of fake smiles

We’ve all done it – faked a smile to mask what we’re really feeling. But when someone is deeply unhappy, their smiles may seem more forced or artificial.

According to psychology, genuine happiness is hard to fake. You see, real smiles – known as Duchenne smiles – involve not just the muscles around the mouth but also those around the eyes.

Unhappy people often subconsciously resort to “social smiles”, which are less intense and only engage the mouth muscles.

So, if you notice someone’s smiles don’t seem to reach their eyes, they could be hiding feelings of unhappiness. 

2) They’re withdrawing from social activities

Now, I’m an introvert by nature, so I know that needing a little alone time doesn’t necessarily mean someone’s unhappy. However, I’ve noticed in my own life that when I’m feeling down, I tend to withdraw even more.

I remember a few years ago, during a particularly rough patch, I started avoiding social events altogether. Birthdays, nights out, even casual coffee dates with friends – I just didn’t have the energy or the will to attend.

Psychology suggests that this kind of social withdrawal can be a sign of deeper unhappiness.

If you notice someone suddenly pulling away from activities they once enjoyed, it could be a red flag that they’re struggling internally. 

3) They’re sleeping more than usual

Sleep can often be a refuge for those grappling with deep-seated unhappiness. The bed becomes a sanctuary where they can escape their worries and woes for a while.

But here’s something you might not know – according to the National Sleep Foundation, there’s a complex relationship between sleep and mental health.

Disruptions in sleep patterns can be a symptom of underlying mental health issues, including depression and anxiety, which often go hand-in-hand with unhappiness.

4) Their appetite has changed dramatically

Food and mood have a complex relationship. When we’re happy, we might celebrate with a special meal. When we’re sad, we might reach for comfort food.

But when someone is deeply unhappy, these patterns can shift dramatically.

Some people lose their appetite completely and start skipping meals. Others might start overeating, using food as a coping mechanism to deal with their emotions.

Both extremes could be a sign of underlying unhappiness.

5) They’re increasingly irritable or impatient

We all have our off days where we’re a little more irritable or impatient than usual. But when someone is deeply unhappy, these emotions can become more prevalent.

They might snap at small annoyances that they would usually brush off, or become frustrated over things that wouldn’t typically bother them. This heightened irritability can be a sign that they’re dealing with emotional turmoil beneath the surface.

It’s important to remember that if someone is acting out of character, there could be more to the story than meets the eye. 

6) They seem to have lost their spark

Remember when their eyes used to light up at the mention of a favorite hobby, or how they couldn’t stop talking about a book they were reading?

Lately, though, it seems like their spark has dimmed. They’re less enthusiastic, less passionate – it’s as if they’re just going through the motions.

This loss of interest in activities they once loved can be a heartbreakingly clear sign of deep unhappiness. It might feel like you’re losing the person you know, but remember, they’re likely feeling lost too.

Remind them that it’s okay to ask for help and that they don’t have to face their struggles alone.

7) They’re excessively self-critical

I’ll let you in on something – I’ve had my fair share of struggles with self-criticism. It’s like a little voice in your head, constantly pointing out your flaws, highlighting your mistakes, and downplaying your accomplishments.

When someone is deeply unhappy, this self-criticism can become even more intense. They might start blaming themselves for things beyond their control or berate themselves over perceived shortcomings.

This harsh self-judgment can be a sign of internalized unhappiness. 

8) They’re experiencing physical discomfort

Unhappiness isn’t just an emotional experience – it can manifest physically too. Headaches, stomach issues, muscle tension, even unexplained aches and pains can all be tied back to emotional discomfort.

If someone is constantly complaining about these physical symptoms without a clear medical cause, it might be their body’s way of expressing deep-rooted unhappiness.

Keep in mind that it’s always best to encourage them to seek medical advice first. But if their physical discomfort persists without an apparent reason, it might be worth gently suggesting they explore the possibility of an emotional cause.

9) They’re constantly feeling overwhelmed

When someone is deeply unhappy, the world can feel like a heavy burden. Even the smallest tasks can seem overwhelming, and the future can feel daunting.

This constant state of overwhelm isn’t just about being busy or stressed. It’s a sign that they’re struggling to cope with their emotions, that their unhappiness is spilling over into every aspect of their life.

Remember, though, it’s not your job to fix them or make their pain go away. The most valuable thing you can do is listen and offer support.

Final thoughts: The power of compassion

The complexity of human emotions is deeply interlinked with our psychological makeup.

Consider the delicate balance of neurotransmitters in our brain – serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine. These chemicals, integral to our mood regulation, can be severely impacted during periods of prolonged unhappiness.

But beyond the biochemistry, it’s the power of compassion that can make a difference. When someone’s deeply unhappy, the smallest act of kindness can mean the world to them.

Simply being there, offering a listening ear, or giving words of encouragement can sometimes provide a sense of solace.