We’ve all heard the saying, “Trust is earned, not given”.

But figuring out who’s worth that trust can be truly difficult. It’s not like people walk around with a “trustworthy” or “not trustworthy” sign on their forehead.

And let’s face it, we’ve all had our fair share of betrayal from those we thought had our backs.

Now, wouldn’t it be easier if we could identify the untrustworthy ones before investing our time and emotions in them?

Well, turns out, psychology might have some answers.

According to psychology, certain patterns of behavior may hint at a lack of trustworthiness.

So, if you’re wondering, “How can I tell if someone is not trustworthy?”, keep reading.

The answers might just save you from future heartbreak and disappointment.

1) They’re inconsistent with their words and actions

We all have our off days where we might say one thing and do another. That’s just human nature.

But if you notice a pattern of inconsistency in someone’s words and actions, it could be a red flag.

Those who can’t stick to their word or frequently change their stance may not be the most reliable people around. 

Trust is built on reliability and consistency. If those are missing, your trust radar should start flashing.

2) They avoid eye contact

This one really hits home for me.

I remember having a friend who always seemed to have a hard time maintaining eye contact during crucial conversations. Initially, I brushed it off as him being shy or introverted.

But as time went on, I noticed he would do this specifically when he was making promises or discussing plans.

His gaze would shift away, almost as if he were trying to hide something.

Avoiding eye contact can sometimes be a sign of deception or discomfort with honesty.

If eyes are the windows to the soul, a lack of eye contact shows that they’re trying to shut the blinds.

His inability to keep commitments and his pattern of dishonesty.

So, it might be worth paying attention to this subtle cue when you’re figuring out if someone is trustworthy.

3) They rarely admit to their mistakes

We all mess up. Every single one of us.

Yet, there are those who would rather chew glass than admit they’ve faltered.

I’m talking about the ones who always seem to have an excuse ready, or worse, shift the blame onto others.

It’s like they’re in a constant state of denial, refusing to accept responsibility for their actions.

An inability to admit mistakes may indicate a lack of self-awareness or a fear of vulnerability.

And let’s face it, it’s hard to trust someone who can’t own up to their shortcomings.

Does this mean everyone who struggles with admitting they’re wrong is untrustworthy?

Absolutely not. But it does suggest a certain level of insecurity that could potentially affect their reliability. 

4) They gossip a lot

We’ve all indulged in a bit of gossip now and then.

But there’s a line between casual chit-chat and spreading rumors or revealing others’ secrets.

People who aren’t worth your trust are those who seem to always have the latest scoop on everyone else’s business.

They can’t wait to share the juicy details, even if it’s at the cost of someone else’s privacy.

Those who gossip excessively might not be the most trustworthy. After all, if they’re spilling others’ secrets today, who’s to say yours won’t be the topic of conversation tomorrow?

5) They display a lack of empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of others. It’s what makes us human and allows us to connect on a deeper level.

But did you know that some individuals have a hard time experiencing empathy?

These people can often come off as cold or indifferent, especially in situations where understanding and compassion are needed the most. They might dismiss your feelings or fail to show any genuine concern.

According to psychology, a lack of empathy can sometimes signal untrustworthiness. It suggests a self-centered perspective where one’s interests and feelings take precedence over those of others.

If empathy is lacking, trust might be hard to establish.

6) They’re quick to judge others

We all know someone who tends to form opinions about others at lightning speed.

Before you blink, they’ve already made up their mind about someone, often without knowing the full story.

It’s easy to pass judgment, but showing patience and understanding? That requires effort.

It requires putting ourselves in the other person’s shoes and giving them the benefit of the doubt.

People who are quick to judge can sometimes be untrustworthy. This behavior might indicate a lack of open-mindedness and an unwillingness to see things from other perspectives.

If someone consistently judges others harshly without giving them a fair chance, it might be a sign to proceed with caution. 

7) They break confidence

Trust is like a vase; once broken, it’s hard to put back together.

And nothing shatters trust like a breach of confidence.

We all confide in others, sharing our deepest fears, hopes, and secrets. It’s a fundamental part of building meaningful relationships.

But when someone betrays that confidence, it can leave a deep and lasting wound.

Breaking confidence is a glaring red flag when it comes to trustworthiness. It signals a disregard for personal boundaries and a willingness to betray trust for personal gain or satisfaction.

So, if someone has a habit of breaking confidence, be it small or significant, tread carefully.

Trust is precious and should be given to those who value and respect it.

Final thoughts

Establishing trust can be challenging.

But understanding these signs of untrustworthiness can be a step towards cultivating more meaningful and authentic relationships.

Remember, these signs are not definitive proof of someone’s character. They are merely indicators that can guide you in your interactions.

Just as importantly, they remind us that trust is hard-earned and easily broken and should be treated with the care it deserves.

As American author Ernest Hemingway once said, “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”

So in your relationships, remember to listen to your intuition. It’s there to guide you.

Finally, let’s not forget that we’re all flawed in our unique ways. It’s these very flaws that make us human.

So, while it’s crucial to be cautious, let’s also strive for understanding, compassion, and empathy.