You think you know someone, only to find they’re a master at hiding their true feelings. It can be frustrating, even heartbreaking.

We often need to be made aware of this. We assume people are being open and transparent, but are they?

It’s a common scenario that most of us have experienced at some point.

This writing will help you identify six telltale signs of someone expertly masking their emotions.

1) They’re always “fine”

We’ve all had that friend or colleague who, no matter what, always insists they’re “fine.” Even when their world seems to be falling apart.

I remember a close friend of mine was going through a messy divorce. Despite the emotional turmoil, whenever I asked how she was doing, she always responded, “I’m fine.”

It took me a while to realize that “fine” was her way of putting up a wall, of hiding her true feelings.

2) They’re masters of deflection

Have you ever tried to steer the conversation toward how someone feels, only to have them swiftly change the subject? That deflection is a classic sign of someone hiding their emotions.

I once worked with a guy named Tom. He was always cheerful and pleasant, but whenever you tried to ask him about his personal life or how he felt, he’d quickly deflect with a joke or change the topic. 

 Years later, we learned about the struggles he was dealing with at home.

Hiding feelings isn’t always about being stoic. Sometimes, it’s steering attention away from what’s happening inside.

3) They have a remarkably consistent demeanor

People adept at hiding their true feelings often maintain a consistent, even-keeled demeanor. Any sudden changes in behavior could give away what they’re feeling inside.

For example, we talk faster or gesticulate more if we’re excited. Conversely, if we’re sad, we might speak slower and show less enthusiasm.

Some are masters at concealing their emotions and learning to control their behavioral cues. They’ve built an emotional fortress, keeping their true feelings hidden.

4) They avoid deep or emotional topics

Do you have that one person in your life who seems to steer clear of serious conversations? Who prefers discussing the weather or last night’s game rather than emotional topics? This could be a sign they’re hiding their emotions.

They may have an aversion to deep conversations, not out of lack of interest but as a protective measure. By avoiding deep or emotional discussions, they reduce the risk of their true feelings surfacing.

5) They’re hard to read

We all know someone who is impossible to read. The face remains an enigma, and reactions are minimal.

This is another indication of someone hiding their feelings. Keeping their expressions and reactions neutral makes it harder for others to decipher what’s happening inside.

Take poker players, for example. They’ve mastered keeping a “poker face” to hide their emotions and prevent opponents from guessing their strategy. It’s not too different in real life – some people become experts at masking their feelings behind an unreadable facade.

6) They seem unusually independent

Finally, people skilled at hiding their feelings often appear fiercely independent. They seem to handle everything on their own and rarely ask for help.

But don’t be fooled by this independence. It’s not always a sign of self-sufficiency; sometimes, it’s a defense mechanism.

Like my cousin Jane, who always insisted on handling everything herself, it wasn’t until she finally let her guard down that she’d been dealing with alone.

If you know someone like this, don’t force them to open up. It’s about letting them know you’re there when they’re ready to let someone in.

Everyone is different; these are just signs, not definitive proof. Always approach with understanding and empathy.