10 signs people secretly think you’re a difficult person to be around

Lucas Graham by Lucas Graham | July 8, 2024, 6:45 pm

Ever find yourself tiptoeing that fine line between assertiveness and just being plain difficult? Yeah, we’ve all been there.

But here’s the kicker: being difficult can throw a wrench in your relationships faster than you can say “awkward.”

Truth is, people won’t always come out and say it straight. They’ll drop hints—subtle ones that you might miss if you’re not paying attention.

So, in this article, I’m dishing out 10 sneaky signs that might suggest you’re giving off those difficult vibes. It’s not a surefire diagnosis, but hey, a little self-reflection never hurt anyone, right?

1) Invitations start to dwindle

It’s a simple fact – people like to surround themselves with other individuals they enjoy spending time with.

When you’re a pleasant person to be around, your social calendar is often filled with invitations to parties, dinners, and get-togethers. But when these invitations start to decrease or stop altogether, it might be a sign that people find you difficult to be around.

It could be that your friends or colleagues are finding your presence too taxing, or they might be trying to avoid possible conflicts that seem to follow you.

Of course, there could be other reasons for the decline in invitations, but if you notice this pattern along with other signs on this list, it might be time for some self-reflection.

2) People often seem on edge around you

From my own journey, I’ve learned that how folks react to your presence speaks volumes about how they perceive you.

Once, I clocked a pattern: whenever I walked into a room, whispers quieted, and tension hung thick in the air. People seemed to tense up and play it safe around me.

It was a tough reality check, but it hit me—I might be the common thread in this discomfort. That realization sparked a deep dive into my own behavior and interactions, nudging me to become more approachable and laid-back.

So if you notice folks feeling on edge in your company, it could be a sign they find you a tough nut to crack. But chin up—acknowledging it is your ticket to turning things around for the better.

3) They avoid eye contact

Eye contact is a powerful form of non-verbal communication. It can indicate interest, respect, and even a level of comfort between two people.

However, when someone consistently avoids making eye contact with you, it could be a sign they find you difficult to be around.

Psychology has shown that people tend to avoid eye contact when they’re uncomfortable or trying to distance themselves from the person they’re interacting with.

Thus, when you notice that people rarely meet your gaze, it could be worth considering whether your behavior is making them feel uneasy or uncomfortable.

4) Conversations are often short

Sometimes, the length and depth of our conversations with others can tell us a lot about how they perceive us.

If you find that most of your conversations with people are short, curt, or lacking in depth, it could be a sign that they find you difficult to interact with.

People generally enjoy engaging in meaningful conversations with those they feel comfortable around. However, if they perceive you as difficult, they might limit their interactions with you to avoid potential conflict or discomfort.

5) Body language seems closed off

Body language speaks volumes. It’s often an unconscious and accurate reflection of our feelings and attitudes.

If you notice that people often have closed-off body language around you, such as crossed arms, lack of smile, or turning their body away from you, it could indicate they find you difficult to be around.

It’s a universal sign of discomfort and a clear signal that the person might feel uneasy in your presence.

Of course, body language can vary greatly between individuals and cultures, but noticing a consistent pattern of closed-off body language can be a strong hint towards how others perceive you.

6) Friends seem reluctant to share personal news

Friendship is about sharing – joys, sorrows, dreams, and everyday life. But when friends start holding back on sharing their personal news or updates with you, it could mean they’re finding it hard to connect with you.

It’s a difficult realization, especially when it comes from those you care about most. They might fear judgment, criticism, or just a negative response from you.

This reluctance to share can create a distance in the relationship and might be an indication that they find you challenging to interact with.

7) You’re often left out of group plans

There was a period when I began noticing a pattern: my pals were making plans without looping me in.

Whether it was a spontaneous road trip or a casual coffee rendezvous, I’d catch wind of it after the fact, often through social media.

It stung, sure, and left me scratching my head. But instead of jumping to conclusions, I decided to take it as a cue for some introspection.

Soon, it dawned on me that perhaps my assertive demeanor or tendency to steer conversations could be a tad overwhelming for others.

Bottom line: if you’re frequently finding yourself on the outskirts of group hangouts, it might signal that others find it tricky to include you because your vibe doesn’t agree with theirs. 

8) They agree with you…a lot

Agreement—it’s usually a positive, right? It indicates unity, mutual understanding, and solidarity. But here’s the thing: too much agreement might not be as rosy as it seems.

Odd as it may sound, when everyone’s nodding along with every word you utter, it could signal they find you a bit tough to engage with. It’s like they’re tiptoeing around you, avoiding any potential clash or spirited debate. They might see you as someone who doesn’t take kindly to differing opinions.

Hence, if you’re noticing this trend of constant nods and “yes-men” around you, it’s worth pondering. Could it be that your reactions to disagreement are prompting others to stifle their own perspectives? It’s a question worth asking yourself.

9) They don’t ask for your opinion

We often seek the opinions of people we respect and enjoy being around.

If you notice that people rarely ask for your opinion, it could be an indication that they find you difficult to interact with. It might be because they fear your reaction, or they feel that their thoughts and ideas might not be valued or respected.

Not being asked for your opinion can feel isolating, but recognizing this pattern can also be an opportunity to reflect on and improve the way you express your views to others.

10) You often feel misunderstood

Feeling like nobody “gets” you? It’s beyond annoying—it’s downright frustrating. It’s like there’s this big gap between how you see yourself and how others see you.

If you’re constantly feeling misunderstood, chances are, people might find you hard to figure out or relate to. Maybe your way of communicating, your attitudes, or your actions don’t quite sync up with what they’re used to or what they’re comfortable with.

But hey, understanding works both ways, right? It’s not just about how others see us; it’s also about how well we “get” them and react to what they’re putting out there.

Final thoughts: It’s about growth

Human behavior and perceptions are complex and multifaceted. Being perceived as difficult by others can be a hard pill to swallow, but it also provides an opportunity for self-reflection and growth.

Remember, it’s not about blaming yourself or feeling bad. It’s about understanding how your actions and behavior might impact others around you.

So, embrace this opportunity. Reflect, understand, and grow. The journey towards self-improvement is continuous, and every step you take brings you closer to being the person you aspire to be.