5 signs of emotional immaturity in a woman, according to psychology
Sometimes, our emotions get the better of us and we act out without thinking.
We say and do things that we don’t mean from time to time, but in the end, we acknowledge that this is immature behavior.
However, there are some people whose emotional maturity never caught up with their age.
They may be full adults but behave like a child when things don’t go their way.
Today we’ll explore 5 signs of emotional immaturity, but with a focus on women, according to psychology.
1) They don’t respect boundaries.
Have you ever met someone who refuses to respect boundaries?
You may tell them that you prefer not to speak about something because it’s private, or that you would rather not hang out after a certain time because your alone time is precious.
And still, after you’ve established your preferences and boundaries clearly, they still have the audacity to cross them.
According to psychology, this is a sign of emotional immaturity. They take someone’s boundaries as a personal attack and may get offended.
Emotionally immature women are not able to understand why they should have to respect a person’s boundaries because they lack empathy.
They’re unable to see things from another person’s perspective.
When you say, “I would prefer if you didn’t say this because it triggers me.”
They see this instead as a suggestion and will definitely cross this boundary, even though you’ve communicated this clearly.
2) They have difficulty controlling their emotions.
Have you ever seen how a child behaves when their favorite toy is taken away?
They scream, yell, and cry.
Sometimes, they just cry for no reason and you can’t find out why because they’re unable to tell you the reason.
The thing is a lot of adult women (with the full ability to communicate) are like this.
But their inability to control their emotions hinders this.
When they don’t get what they want, they act out immaturely.
They may:
- Give you the cold shoulder
- Act passive-aggressively
- Lash out at you
- Appear visibly irritated/angry when they’re not in an appropriate setting
The last point is usually seen in workplaces, which as we all know, is a place for professionalism.
Yet we see some emotionally immature women shouting at their colleagues or acting aloof and indifferent at meetings even with senior management – just because they got rebuffed or didn’t get what they want.
According to psychology, this could also be a reflection of narcissist tendencies as they’re forced to participate in things that challenge the identity they’ve created for themselves.
Therefore, being unable to control one’s emotions is a clear indicator of a person’s emotional immaturity.
3) They’re inflexible and always want their own way.
Another key sign that a woman is emotionally immature is her refusal to adapt to changes.
She’s inflexible and always wants her own way, despite the inconvenience it may bring to the people around her.
According to a psychologist, someone who is emotionally immature is less able to consider ideas different from their own, which affects their ability to compromise with others.
This could stem from narcissistic tendencies, but also the way she was brought up. Perhaps she’s very used to getting her own way since young.
The thing is, everyone is different and brings with them their own ways of thinking, preferences and opinions. There will definitely be a time when an activity calls for a compromise when it involves at least one more person.
Moreover, life doesn’t always go according to plan although it’s comforting to assume that it will.
As such, because of her inability to adapt, an emotionally immature woman may be unable to respond openly if she insists on being rigid in her thinking.
4) They don’t take responsibility for their actions.
Being able to 1) consider how one’s actions can affect others and 2) take responsibility for these actions if they end up causing harm does require a high amount of emotional maturity.
It takes a level of self-honesty and acceptance because it requires the person to willingly reflect on what went wrong, accept that they were in the wrong, and commit to changing their behavior.
Unfortunately, this isn’t very common even among adults (whom you might assume would have a better sense of emotional maturity) because of a general unwillingness to be at fault.
I had a supervisor who rarely took responsibility for her actions. She’d instruct her team to work on something but when the project was presented to management and rejected, she’d throw her team under the bus and deny all involvement.
She would not take responsibility for her failure to guide the team toward success, and instead, blame the team’s shortcomings on them instead – when they were just following her instructions.
It’s no wonder that so many people left the team, because of her inability to consider how her actions impacted the team’s morale and inability to perform.
On the other hand, an emotionally mature person sees mistakes as opportunities to grow and learn. Rather than considering it from a negative perspective, they’re able to see this in a more positive light in their journey towards becoming a better person.
5) They struggle with resolving conflict
Learning how to manage conflict is a skill, and it’s not an easy one to pick up.
There will inevitably be conflicts that arise in one’s life, but it’s how one handles them that makes a difference.
An emotionally mature person will face these head-on and actively resolve them, instead of running away, avoiding the situation altogether, or enjoying the drama that it brings to the people around them.
However, an emotionally immature woman may be unable to navigate conflicts because they enter the situation thinking that they are in the right.
At the outset, the battle is already lost because these women are not seeking a resolution, they’re seeking justification or validation for their side of the story.
And this can lead to even worse outcomes, especially when the situation becomes more tense and the other party gets more aggressive.
Therefore, an emotionally immature woman may tend to involve herself in multiple escalated conflicts because of her inability to compromise or give in when the situation hasn’t grown into something bigger.
The thing is – people can attend all sorts of conflict resolution courses but the true work starts from within. If someone isn’t able to treat the other party with respect, it’s unlikely that the conflict will get resolved.
Concluding thoughts
If you realize that you may be dealing with an emotionally immature friend, partner, or family member, hopefully, this gives you some clarity as to why they behave the way they do.
You could try helping them gain awareness of their behavior and helping them improve. But bear in mind that this boils down to their willingness to change.
If they insist on staying the same, you could either seek out professional help or decide to keep your distance to protect your peace – because the extreme form of emotional immaturity can border on abuse and toxicity in relationships.
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