9 signs of a truly decent man, according to psychology

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | September 10, 2024, 4:18 pm

A vast difference exists between being a nice guy and a decent man.

The distinction lies in authenticity. A ‘nice guy’ might put on a facade to please others, while a genuine, decent man acts from his core values without needing external validation.

I’ll share nine signs of a genuinely decent man in this article. These aren’t your typical traits; these are attributes deeply rooted in his character.

So, let’s dive in and discover what makes a man genuinely decent, shall we?

1) Authenticity

Authenticity is the cornerstone of any decent man.

In a world of pretension, a decent man doesn’t hide behind masks or facades. He’s not afraid to show his true colors and be himself, regardless of the circumstances.

Psychology points to authenticity as a critical marker of mental health and well-being. It’s associated with numerous positive outcomes, such as improved relationships, greater happiness, and increased self-esteem.

An authentic man doesn’t change his personality to fit into different social contexts or to please others. He stays true to his values, beliefs, and principles no matter what.

This authenticity might not always be the easiest path, but it is a clear sign of decency. It takes courage to be authentic in a world constantly trying to make you something else.

So next time you assess a man’s decency, look beyond the superficial charm and politeness. Instead, look at how authentic he is in his interactions, choices, and behavior. It’s a trait that can’t be faked and speaks volumes about his character.

2) Empathy

Empathy is a trait that’s essential not only in every decent man but also in every decent human being.

A decent man has understanding and compassion for others. He tries to put himself in other people’s shoes, even when he disagrees.

I have a friend named John who embodies this trait. One day, we discussed a controversial topic and had very different views.

Instead of dismissing my viewpoint or getting defensive, John took the time to listen and understand where I was coming from.

He didn’t necessarily agree with me, but he clarified that he understood my perspective and respected my opinion. He didn’t try to change my viewpoint but sought to understand it.

It was a simple act, but it showed his true colors as a decent man. It displayed his emotional intelligence and respect for others’ feelings and viewpoints.

Empathy sets a decent man apart in a world where everyone is quick to judge and slow to understand.

3) Respectful

A decent man treats everyone respectfully, regardless of status, background, or beliefs.

He understands the importance of treating everyone he encounters with dignity and kindness. This includes everyone from his boss to the waiter serving his meal, from his close friends to strangers.

But it’s not only about treating others with respect. A genuinely decent man also respects himself. He values his worth and doesn’t allow others to treat him poorly.

Pay attention to how a man treats others and himself. It provides a window into his character and tells much about who he is.

4) Responsibility

Responsibility is another hallmark of a genuinely decent man.

He doesn’t shy away from his duties or obligations. Whether it’s as big as a career commitment or as small as keeping his promises, a decent man takes his responsibilities seriously.

He doesn’t make excuses or blame others when things go wrong. Instead, he steps up, acknowledges his mistakes, and works towards finding solutions.

If you see a man who always takes responsibility for his actions and never shies away from his duties, you’re likely dealing with a genuinely decent man. It’s a feature that speaks volumes about his integrity and maturity.

5) Emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence is a trait that separates the boys from the men.

A genuinely decent man understands his emotions and how to express them healthily. He doesn’t suppress his feelings or let them control him. He acknowledges them and deals with them appropriately.

Moreover, he’s also sensitive to the emotions of others. He recognizes and respects other people’s feelings and adjusts his behavior accordingly.

Emotional intelligence involves empathy, self-awareness, and the ability to regulate emotions. It allows a man to build strong relationships, make good decisions, and navigate social situations effectively.

When you come across a man in tune with his emotions and those of others, it’s a clear sign of his decency. It shows that he’s not just brilliant in a traditional sense but emotionally intelligent.

6) Kindness

Kindness is one of those qualities that might seem simple, but it truly is a cornerstone of decency.

A decent man exhibits kindness not because he expects something in return but because it’s the right thing to do. He understands the value of small acts of kindness and goes out of his way to uplift others.

Remember when a kind word, a helping hand, or a gentle smile improved your day? That’s the power of kindness.

A decent man uses this power wisely. He spreads positivity and warmth wherever he goes. He treats everyone with kindness, from his loved ones to strangers.

To him, kindness isn’t just an act; it’s a lifestyle. It’s ingrained in his character and reflects in his every action.

Know that you’ve found a gem when encountering a man who constantly radiates kindness.

7) Patience

Patience is a virtue, and a genuinely decent man embodies this virtue in his everyday life.

He understands that good things take time. He doesn’t rush through life but takes the time to appreciate the journey. He knows that patience is vital to overcoming challenges and achieving long-term goals.

I remember a time when I was struggling with a personal project. I was impatient, frustrated, and ready to give up. But then, I conversed with my grandfather – a man of immense patience.

He shared with me his struggles and how patience played a crucial role in overcoming them. His words struck a chord with me and gave me the strength to keep going.

A patient man doesn’t let frustration or impatience get the best of him. He stays calm and composed, even in the face of adversity. It’s a characteristic that sets him apart and makes him a source of strength for others around him.

8) Honesty

Honesty is another non-negotiable trait of a genuinely decent man.

He values truth and transparency. He doesn’t lie or deceive to get his way. Instead, he chooses to be truthful, even when it’s hard.

He always strives to be honest in his relationships, work, and dealings. He understands that honesty builds trust and is the foundation of any meaningful relationship.

A decent man knows that lies may provide temporary comfort, but truth is what stands the test of time. He chooses to live a life of integrity, where his words match his actions.

Cherish an honest man, as he’s a rare breed in a world where deception often seems like the easy way out.

9) Respect for equality

Lastly, a genuinely decent man believes in and respects equality.

He treats everyone equally, regardless of gender, race, religion, or social status. He judges people based on their character and actions.

He understands everyone has the right to be treated with respect and dignity. He stands up against injustice and isn’t afraid to voice his opinion when he sees inequality.

In a world where inequality still exists in many forms, a man who respects and promotes equality is not just decent but genuinely commendable.

Final thoughts: It’s about character

The essence of a genuinely decent man is not found in his wealth, looks, or status but in his character.

Character is the bedrock upon which all these traits we’ve discussed are built. It defines a person and sets the foundation for their actions and behavior.

Psychologist Carl Jung once said, “You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do.” A decent man understands this. He talks about more than being authentic, empathetic, respectful, and supportive of equality. He lives these values.

Remember, it’s not about being perfect. Everyone has flaws. But a genuinely decent man acknowledges these flaws and strives to be better. He constantly works on building his character because he knows it’s who he is at his core.

As we navigate life, let’s strive to recognize and appreciate the decent men around us.

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