Psychology suggests that it’s fairly common to encounter people with hidden narcissistic tendencies in your friendship circle. 

They might seem friendly and outgoing at first, but underneath, they’re mainly focused on themselves and their own needs.

Still, it’s not easy to spot them right away because they’re good at putting on a charming facade. 

They might be the life of the party or seem really confident, but over time, you start to notice they’re more interested in getting what they want than in truly connecting with you and others.

So, let’s discover the signs of a hidden narcissist in your friendship circle, according to psychology.

1) They always need to be the center of attention

You know that friend who always wants the spotlight on them? Yeah, they should be your first pick for a hidden narcissist.

They love being the center of everyone’s focus and often go to great lengths to make sure they’re noticed.

You never know what you’re going to get with them. They can switch from being charming and friendly one moment to cold and distant the next.

And there’s always one in every friend’s circle, isn’t there? 

But look, whether narcissists are “bad” or not is a complex question that doesn’t have a straightforward answer. 

Narcissistic traits and behaviors can have negative impacts on relationships and social interactions. Still, you need to understand that narcissism exists on a spectrum ranging from mild to severe.

So, even though that friend might be a hidden narcissist, that doesn’t mean they’re going to hurt you or others. They might just be annoying a bit, and that’s it.

2) They don’t seem to understand or care about your feelings or experiences

On the flip side, if they don’t seem to understand or care about your feelings or experiences, that could be a problem, right?

I mean, we all want compassionate friends we can talk to about our problems and things we don’t share with others. 

So, when you’re going through a tough time or sharing something personal, and they don’t seem to get it, that’s not great. 

It’s like they’re unable to put themselves in your shoes or understand what you’re feeling. And that, my friend, is narcissism 101. 

3) They often manipulate situations to their advantage

If your friend is like a puppet master, pulling strings to get what they want, they’re a hidden narcissist, no doubt. 

They’ll twist situations, guilt trips, pity parties, sob stories, or sweet talk to bend things their way and control those around them.

They see people as tools to get what they want. They’ll use others without batting an eye, whether it’s for their skills, connections, or resources, without considering how it affects them.

But why are they like that? Psychology says they believe they must control situations and people to feel secure or powerful. 

But it can also result from a lack of empathy and a disregard for others.

4) They believe they deserve special treatment and privileges

Psychologically speaking, feeling entitled means thinking you deserve special treatment or privileges just because you’re you. 

This belief can come from how you were raised, what society tells you, and your own life experiences. 

It’s like feeling like the world owes you something, even if you haven’t really done anything to earn it.

And a friend who’s a hidden narcissist will act like the world owes them something. They believe they deserve special treatment, privileges, and perks just because they’re them.

Knowing people like that, I can tell you they’re often very annoying and rude to waiters, hostesses, and even teachers and doctors. 

5) They react defensively or aggressively when criticized

And when you tell them they’re incredibly rude and entitled, they react like you’ve attacked them personally.

Even the gentlest critique sets them off. For them, being told they messed up feels like a blow to their ego, and they just can’t handle it. 

Instead of considering your point of view, they get defensive, start making excuses, or even lash out in anger. 

It’s as if they’re so invested in protecting their self-image that they can’t bear the thought of being less than perfect in any way. 

Needless to say, their inability to accept criticism can strain friendships and make it challenging to communicate openly and honestly.

Psychologically, it reflects underlying insecurities and a fear of failure or rejection, among other things.

6) They exaggerate their achievements and talents

Oftentimes, hidden narcissists are the kings and queens of self-promotion. They’ll boast about their achievements, inflate their talents, and make themselves sound way more important than they really are.

Psychologically, when people feel inadequate or have low self-esteem deep down, they’ll do that.

It’s a way to hide those insecurities and get other people to look up to them. By puffing themselves up, they hope to earn praise and attention from others, which makes them feel better about themselves, at least temporarily.

7) They don’t respect personal boundaries and invade your privacy

Personal space? What’s that? They don’t seem to understand that people have limits and boundaries, and they’ll often cross them without a second thought.

They don’t get that everyone has their own comfort zones and lines they don’t want to be crossed.

Psychologically, people who do this have trouble putting themselves in your shoes or understanding why certain boundaries are important to you. 

They’re so focused on what they want or need that they forget to consider how it might affect you.

If you don’t repeatedly tell them what’s off-limits, you’ll never have a healthy relationship with them. 

8) They refuse to take responsibility for their actions and blame others instead

It’s never their fault, right? They’re excellent at dodging responsibility and shifting the blame on others whenever things go wrong.

For some people, refusing to be accountable is a way to protect themselves from feeling bad about what they’ve done wrong. 

It’s easier to shift the blame onto someone else or pretend like nothing happened than to face the consequences of their actions. 

And look, no one wants to face their own mistakes. I’m often defensive when faced with critique. But does that automatically make me a narcissist? Hardly. 

That’s why you need to look at the whole picture. You need to see what other behaviors they display and how they affect your friendship. 

9) They want constant praise and validation from others

They crave praise and approval like oxygen. They’ll fish for compliments, seek reassurance, and demand attention to feed their ego.

Psychologically, it can reflect a fragile sense of self-esteem and a fear of rejection or criticism.

So, for example, they might frequently ask, “Don’t you think I look amazing today?” 

Or when a friend shares a story about their recent promotion, they quickly jump in to talk about their own career achievements, expecting praise and validation from the group.

Friends like that will frequently post pictures of their extravagant vacations and expensive purchases on social media. 

They eagerly monitor the likes and comments on their posts, feeling validated by the attention and admiration they receive from their online friends.

10) They become angry or hostile if they feel rejected or ignored

Rejection hits them like a ton of bricks. They can’t stand being told “no” or feeling left out, and they’ll react with anger, resentment, or hurt.

Struggling with rejection often comes from feeling really low about yourself, being scared of being left behind, or not being able to deal with feeling down. 

So, when someone rejects them, it hits hard, and it’s tough to handle those negative feelings.

Psychologically, your friend will lash out in anger or feel bitter towards the person who rejected them as a way to deal with the pain and to feel better about themselves.

11) They feel threatened by others’ success and try to undermine them

Hidden narcissists are green with envy at others’ success. Instead of being happy for someone else’s achievements, they feel threatened and may even try to tear them down.

So, when a friend accomplishes something significant, a hidden narcissist will respond with indifference or minimize their achievements. 

They say things like, “That’s not such a big deal,” or “I’ve done something similar, but better.”

And instead of offering genuine praise, they’ll give compliments that contain subtle digs or insults. 

For example, they’ll say, “Wow, I’m surprised you were able to pull that off,” implying that they didn’t think their friend was capable.

Final thoughts

Just because someone shows these signs doesn’t automatically mean they’re a full-blown narcissist or that they’re hopeless. 

People are complicated, and lots of things can influence how they act: 

• How they were raised,
• What they’ve been through in the past, and 
• Mental health stuff they might be dealing with now.

So, it’s good to keep in mind that things aren’t always black and white when it comes to people and their behavior.