There’s a thin line between being genuinely compassionate and just acting the part. But how do you truly distinguish between the two?

Psychology offers us some insights. It says that a truly compassionate person isn’t just sympathetic, they’re empathetic. They don’t just hear your pain, they feel it too.

Being compassionate means more than just doing good deeds. It’s about understanding, empathy, and a willingness to help others without expecting anything in return.

So, how do you spot a genuinely compassionate person? Well, psychology suggests some signs to look out for.

Here are nine signs that indicate someone is truly compassionate, according to psychology. Let’s dive in.

1) Always attentive to the feelings of others

One of the most notable traits of a genuinely compassionate person is their attentiveness to the feelings of others. They’re not just present in the conversation, they’re also actively engaged.

Psychology tells us that compassionate individuals have a unique ability to pick up on the emotions of those around them. They can sense when someone is happy, sad, angry, or upset, even if that person isn’t openly expressing it.

But it’s more than just being a good listener. It’s about truly understanding what the other person is going through and being able to empathize with their situation.

This is not something that can be easily faked. Genuine compassion comes from a place of deep understanding and empathy for others. It’s about feeling with another person, rather than just feeling for them.

So, if you notice someone always paying close attention to your emotions and showing genuine empathy, you might just be in the presence of a truly compassionate individual.

2) Willingness to help, even when it’s inconvenient

True compassion isn’t limited by convenience. It’s not about helping only when it fits into your schedule, but rather going out of your way to assist others.

A few years ago, I had a friend who exemplified this trait. We were both university students, juggling classes, part-time jobs, and social lives. One day, I fell ill and couldn’t attend a crucial lecture. Despite having her own commitments, my friend immediately offered to take detailed notes for me.

But she didn’t stop there. She also brought me soup, checked in on me regularly, and even helped me catch up on other coursework. All this while still managing her own busy schedule.

It wasn’t the easiest or most convenient thing to do, but she did it anyway. Because that’s what genuinely compassionate people do. They step up and help others, not just when it’s easy or convenient for them, but especially when it’s not.

3) Practicing forgiveness and letting go of grudges

Compassionate people understand the power of forgiveness. They don’t keep score of wrongs, nor do they hold onto grudges. Instead, they choose to forgive and move forward.

In a research study, it was found that those who forgive others tend to enjoy better mental health and reduced levels of stress. This is because harboring negative emotions like resentment and anger can lead to various health issues, including high blood pressure and heart disease.

So, compassionate people are not just doing good for others by forgiving; they’re also doing good for their own health. It’s a win-win situation. If someone is quick to forgive and let go of grudges, they’re likely displaying genuine compassion.

4) Displaying kindness even in small ways

It’s often the little things that reveal the most about a person’s character. And for genuinely compassionate individuals, kindness is reflected in their everyday actions.

They hold the door open for others, offer their seat on a crowded bus, or lend a hand to someone struggling with heavy bags. These actions may seem small, but they speak volumes about a person’s compassion.

Their kindness isn’t limited to grand gestures or special occasions. Instead, it’s woven into the fabric of their daily lives. It’s these consistent acts of kindness, no matter how small, that truly exemplify a compassionate heart.

5) Showing empathy, not just sympathy

There’s a significant difference between sympathy and empathy, and compassionate people know this.

Sympathy is feeling pity for someone else’s hardship. Empathy, on the other hand, is putting yourself in someone else’s shoes and sharing their feelings.

Compassionate people don’t just acknowledge your pain; they feel it with you. They share your joy and your sadness. They celebrate with you in your triumphs and comfort you in your times of despair.

This empathy allows them to connect with others on a deeper level, making them more understanding and supportive. It’s not about saying the right things, but about genuinely feeling and understanding what the other person is going through.

6) Going beyond their comfort zone to help others

Genuine compassion doesn’t always come easy. It often requires stepping out of your comfort zone and facing situations that might be challenging or even a little uncomfortable.

Take, for instance, a person who is terrified of hospitals but still accompanies a friend for their chemotherapy sessions. Or someone who overcomes their fear of flying to be with a grieving loved one in another city.

These acts require courage and selflessness. They require setting aside personal fears or discomfort to be there for someone else. And that’s the essence of genuine compassion: putting others’ needs before your own, even when it’s tough.

This willingness to step outside one’s comfort zone to help others is a strong indication of a truly compassionate heart. It’s a testament to their character and the depth of their empathy for others.

7) Respecting boundaries and showing sensitivity

Being compassionate doesn’t mean you have to be involved in every aspect of someone’s life. It also means respecting boundaries and understanding that everyone has their own space and pace.

I remember a time when I was going through a rough patch, and I didn’t feel ready to talk about it. My friend, instead of pushing me to spill out my feelings, simply let me know that they were there for me when I was ready to talk. They respected my feelings and my pace, showing me that they were compassionate without being intrusive.

This sensitivity to others’ boundaries is a crucial aspect of being genuinely compassionate. It’s about understanding that sometimes the best way to help is to give someone the space they need, while letting them know you’re there for them when they’re ready.

8) Consistently showing concern for others

One of the clear signs of a genuinely compassionate person is consistent concern for others. Their compassion isn’t selective or occasional; it’s a part of who they are.

They’re the ones who always ask, “How are you really doing?” and take the time to listen to the answer. They remember your important dates, check in on you when you’re feeling down, and celebrate your victories with you.

Their concern extends beyond their immediate circle of friends and family. They care about their community, the environment, and social issues. It’s this consistent, selfless concern for others that sets genuinely compassionate people apart.

9) Demonstrating self-compassion

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, genuinely compassionate people practice self-compassion. They understand that to be able to care for others effectively, they must first care for themselves.

Self-compassion involves being kind to oneself, recognizing one’s own suffering, and understanding that everyone has flaws and makes mistakes. It’s about giving oneself the same kindness and understanding that we extend to others.

Just as a compassionate person wouldn’t harshly judge another for their shortcomings, they also refrain from harsh self-criticism. This balance of compassion for oneself and others is a key sign of a genuinely compassionate person.

The heart of compassion

The essence of compassion lies deep within our human nature. It’s not just a trait, but a fundamental part of who we are as social beings.

Studies indicate that compassion is deeply wired into our brains and bodies. The hormone oxytocin, often associated with social bonding and trust, is released when we show compassion towards others.

When we demonstrate genuine compassion, not only are we creating positive connections with others, but we’re also boosting our own well-being. Compassion has been linked to decreased stress levels, increased happiness, and even a longer life.

So, as we reflect on the signs of a genuinely compassionate person, remember that compassion isn’t just about how we treat others. It’s also about how we treat ourselves.

Being compassionate isn’t just good for the world around us, it’s good for us too. At its core, compassion is about understanding, empathy, and love – both for others and for ourselves.

As we navigate life’s complexities, let’s strive to cultivate more compassion – it might just be the most rewarding journey we embark on.