Friendships are essential to our well-being, but sometimes, they can become one-sided or emotionally draining.

According to psychology, there are clear signs that a friendship may no longer be healthy.

Whether you’re always the one making the effort or feel consistently unsupported, these indicators suggest it might be time to let go.

Friendships should uplift and enrich your life, and when they no longer do, it’s important to take a closer look at their impact.

1) You’re always the one making the effort

Have you ever noticed that you’re the one always initiating plans or conversations? This could be a sign that it’s time to reconsider your friendship.

Friendships, like any relationship, should be a two-way street. You shouldn’t be the only one making an effort to keep the friendship alive.

If you’re constantly reaching out, making plans, and getting little to no response in return, it could signify a lack of interest or respect from your friend’s side.

This is not about keeping score. It’s about recognizing if there’s a consistent imbalance in your friendship. It’s draining and disheartening to feel like you’re the only one invested in the relationship.

A real friend values your time and effort as much as their own. If you’re always left feeling unimportant or neglected, it might be a sign that it’s time to let go of this friend.

It’s not an easy realization, but it can lead you towards healthier, more balanced friendships that genuinely enrich your life.

2) They celebrate your failures

A real friend is your cheerleader, someone who celebrates your victories and encourages you during your failures.

But what if you find that your friend seems more pleased with your setbacks than your successes?

It might be subtle – a smirk when you share bad news, or a lack of enthusiasm when you achieve something.

It’s not about expecting them to be devastated by your failures, but genuine friends empathize with you. They want to see you do well and are there to offer support when things don’t go as planned.

If you’re consistently feeling a sense of schadenfreude from your friend – a delight in your failures – it might be time to reconsider the friendship.

It’s not about demanding unending positivity from them, but about having someone who genuinely wants the best for you.

This may be a hard pill to swallow, especially if you’ve been close for a long time.

But friendships should uplift and inspire us, not leave us feeling like we’re in a constant competition.

3) You feel emotionally drained after spending time with them

Ever noticed that you feel exhausted or emotionally depleted after spending time with a particular friend? This could be a sign that the friendship is not healthy for you.

Interactions with friends should generally leave you feeling uplifted, supported, or at the very least, neutral.

Of course, there are times when friends need to lean on each other during difficult times and that can be taxing. But if every interaction leaves you feeling drained, it’s a problem.

Research in psychology has shown that our emotions and energy levels can be significantly impacted by those around us.

This phenomenon is known as emotional contagion – the spreading of feelings from one person to another.

If your friend is constantly negative, anxious, or angry, you may start to feel the same way after spending time with them.

This isn’t about dodging a friend during their tough times. It’s about acknowledging when a friendship consistently leaves you feeling drained or brings down your mood. 

4) You can’t be your authentic self around them

We all wear different masks in different settings, but with a true friend, you should feel comfortable being your true self.

If you feel like you’re constantly pretending or hiding aspects of your personality when you’re with this person, it can be a sign that the friendship isn’t as deep or supportive as it should be.

Friendships are spaces where we should feel safe to express ourselves freely – our likes, dislikes, hopes, and fears. A friend who judges or belittles you for being yourself doesn’t provide that safe space.

It’s OK to grow and change, and it’s perfectly normal for our friendships to evolve with us.

If a friendship is holding you back from being who you truly are, or causing emotional discomfort when expressing your true self, it might be time to consider if this relationship is beneficial for your personal growth.

You deserve friendships where you can show up authentically and be accepted for who you truly are.

5) You feel a sense of relief when plans are canceled

We’ve all been there – that moment when you get a text saying plans have been canceled and you feel a wave of relief wash over you.

But if this is a consistent feeling every time plans with a particular friend are canceled, it’s worth paying attention to.

It’s normal to occasionally feel relieved when plans are canceled, especially if you’re overworked or tired.

But if you’re regularly feeling relieved at the thought of not seeing a particular friend, it might signal that their company is more stressful than enjoyable.

And that’s a good cue — if the thought of hanging out with them feels like a chore, it might be time to reassess the friendship.

6) They don’t respect your boundaries

Respect for personal boundaries is at the heart of any healthy relationship. If your friend consistently disregards or dismisses your boundaries, it’s a red flag.

For instance, if you’ve made it clear that you’re uncomfortable discussing certain topics, but your friend insists on bringing them up again and again, this shows a lack of respect for your feelings and needs.

Or perhaps, you’ve asked them not to call during late hours as it disrupts your sleep, but they continue to do so.

This isn’t about expecting perfect adherence to all your preferences. It’s about feeling heard and respected in a friendship.

In a personal experience, I remember setting a clear boundary with a friend about not lending money as it had caused issues in the past.

Despite this, the friend continued to ask for loans, showing disrespect for the boundary set.

When your boundaries are repeatedly crossed, it might be time to reconsider the relationship. 

7) They’re not there when you need them

When the chips are down, that’s when you really know who your friends are.

If your friend is always around for the good times but mysteriously absent during the tough times, it might be a sign that this friendship is one-sided.

A true friend doesn’t disappear when life gets tough. They’re there to offer a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear, or even just a comforting presence.

They don’t necessarily have to solve your problems, but they should be there to support you through them.

If you’ve found yourself alone during difficult times, despite reaching out to this friend for support, it’s worth reflecting on whether this friendship is as solid as it should be.

It’s a harsh truth to face, but friendships aren’t just about fun and good times.

They’re also about being there for each other during the hard times. If they’re only around for the highs and not the lows, it might be time to let go. 

8) Trust is broken

At the core of any meaningful relationship lies trust. If trust is broken in a friendship, it can be very hard to rebuild, and sometimes it might be better to part ways.

Whether it’s a betrayal, a lie, or repeated broken promises, these incidents can really impact the level of trust in a relationship.

If you find yourself constantly questioning their words or actions, or feeling insecure about their loyalty, it might be time to reconsider this friendship.

While people can make mistakes and deserve forgiveness, patterns of dishonesty or betrayal are not healthy in any relationship.

Ultimately, letting go doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re making space for relationships that truly honor and respect you.

Final thoughts

Parting ways with a friend is never easy, but when the signs of an unhealthy or one-sided relationship become consistent, it’s a decision worth considering.

It’s important to surround yourself with people who not only value your time and effort but also contribute positively to your emotional well-being.

Ending a friendship doesn’t mean you’re abandoning someone or acting selfishly.

It means recognizing that your well-being deserves attention and care.

By choosing to let go of friendships that drain or hurt you, you allow space for healthier, more supportive relationships to enter your life.

In the long run, this choice leads to deeper connections and a more fulfilling social circle that aligns with your values and emotional needs.