As a relationship expert and founder of the Love Connection blog, I’ve seen my fair share of relationships. The good, the bad, and the ugly.

In my experience, there’s a thin line between fighting for your relationship and knowing when it’s time to walk away.

Sometimes, it’s not as clear as we’d like it to be. You find yourself questioning: is it worth it? Am I happy?

It can be a real struggle.

Luckily, psychology has offered us some insights into this complex subject. There are certain signs that might indicate it’s time to reconsider your relationship.

In this article, I’ll share with you 8 of these signs as a guide to help you make that tough decision.

And remember, it’s not about giving up; it’s about choosing what’s best for you.

1) You’re constantly feeling drained

In any relationship, it’s normal to have ups and downs.

But if you find yourself constantly feeling drained, exhausted, or emotionally depleted, this could be a sign that it’s time to reassess things.

Psychologists refer to this as emotional exhaustion.

It’s a state of emotional depletion that results from excessive job and personal demands and continuous stress.

And yes, it applies to relationships too.

It’s like when your mobile phone battery is running on low power mode all the time.

Sure, it might still work, but it’s not functioning at its optimal level.

When you’re in a relationship that’s right for you, it should energize you more than it drains you.

It should bring out the best in you, not leave you feeling depleted.

So if you’re always running on low battery, maybe it’s time to plug into a different power source.

Remember, your emotional wellbeing is important.

Don’t keep draining yourself for someone who isn’t charging you back with love, respect and happiness.

2) The bad times outweigh the good

As someone who’s been in the relationship field for a long time, I can tell you this: no relationship is perfect

There will always be moments of disagreement, arguments, and misunderstandings.

But when the bad times start to outweigh the good, it’s a red flag.

Psychology suggests that a healthy relationship should have a 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions.

That means for every negative interaction, there should be at least five positive ones.

Now, I’m not saying you should keep a tally of every good or bad moment.

But if you find yourself constantly in conflict, it might be time to take a step back and evaluate.

 If your partner is consistently showing you behavior that brings more stress than joy, it might be a sign that this isn’t the relationship for you.

Remember, relationships should add value to your life. Not deplete it.

3) Your self-esteem is taking a hit

A big part of my work, both as a relationship coach and in writing my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, has been about understanding the link between our relationships and our sense of self-worth.

In a healthy relationship, your partner should lift you up, not bring you down.

If you find yourself doubting your worth, or feeling less confident because of how your partner treats you, that’s a clear sign something isn’t right.

Psychology shows us that our self-esteem is deeply influenced by the quality of our relationships.

So if you’re constantly feeling inadequate or unworthy in your relationship, it’s time to question why.

Take it from me, my dear readers.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel good about yourself, who respects and values you for who you are.

If that’s not happening, it might be time to consider walking away.

For more on building self-esteem and overcoming codependency in relationships, do check out my book.

It’s packed with insights and practical advice to help navigate these tricky waters.

4) You’re happier when you’re apart

Now, this might sound a bit counterintuitive. Aren’t you supposed to miss your partner when you’re not together?

Yes, but there’s a difference between missing someone and feeling happier without them.

If you find yourself feeling more relaxed, happier, or just generally more at ease when your partner isn’t around, that’s a signal worth paying attention to. 

Remember, being in a relationship shouldn’t feel like an obligation or a burden.

It should bring joy, comfort and make you feel loved.

So if you’re breathing a sigh of relief every time they leave the room, it might be time to reassess.

This isn’t about blaming anyone. Sometimes, two people just aren’t right for each other. And that’s okay.

What matters is recognizing it and making the right choice for your happiness.

5) You’re not the same person anymore

Change is a part of life. We all evolve, grow, and transform over time.

But if you look in the mirror and hardly recognize the person staring back at you, it’s worth digging a little deeper.

In my years as a relationship coach, I’ve seen this happen so many times.

People lose themselves in relationships, often without even realizing it.

While it’s normal to adapt and compromise in a relationship, losing your sense of self is a red flag.

If you’re constantly changing your opinions, interests or behavior to suit your partner, or if you feel like you’re playing a role rather than being yourself, it might be time to reflect on why that is.

It’s essential to remember that a healthy relationship should help you grow into the best version of yourself, not make you feel like you’re losing touch with who you are.

You deserve to be with someone who loves and appreciates you for who you are. Not someone who wants you to become someone else.

6) You’re justifying their behavior too often

Let’s get really honest here. If you find yourself constantly making excuses for your partner’s behavior, it’s a sign something’s not right.

We’re all human, and we all make mistakes.

But if you’re always in the position of justifying or explaining away your partner’s actions, whether it’s to yourself or others, you need to take a step back.

This can be a form of denial, a way of avoiding the harsh reality that your relationship might not be as healthy as you want it to be.

Here’s the raw truth: If someone loves and respects you, they’ll show it through their actions, not just their words.

You shouldn’t have to make excuses for them or convince others (or yourself) that they’re treating you right.

You deserve better. And deep down, you know it. It might be time to face the truth and consider walking away.

7) You’re always dreaming of a better relationship

Now, we’ve all had that daydream of a perfect fairy-tale relationship.

But if you find yourself constantly fantasizing about being in a different relationship, it’s time to sit up and take notice.

In my years of relationship counseling, I’ve seen this happen often.

People get so caught up in their dreams of ‘what could be’ that they ignore the reality of ‘what is’.

Consistently fantasizing about a better relationship can be a sign of deep dissatisfaction with your current one.

If you’re always dreaming of something better, maybe it’s time to stop dreaming and start acting.

8) There’s more fear than love

Let’s strip it down to the bare bones. Ultimately, a relationship should be about love, not fear.

If you’re staying in a relationship more out of fear—fear of being alone, fear of starting over, fear of hurting the other person—than because of love, it’s time to confront that.

Psychology tells us that love should empower us, not imprison us.

Fear-based relationships are unhealthy and can lead to continual emotional distress.

Here’s the raw truth: Being alone is far better than being in a relationship where you feel trapped, scared or unhappy.

You deserve a relationship built on mutual respect, trust, and above all, love.

If fear is the glue holding your relationship together, it might be time to break free.

Remember, your happiness matters. And sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is walk away from something that’s not serving you.

Wrapping up

Deciding to walk away from a relationship is never easy.

It takes courage, self-awareness, and a whole lot of honesty with yourself.

But remember, your happiness and wellbeing are important.

These signs are not definitive proof that you should end your relationship, but they are indicators to look out for.

They can help you take stock of where you’re at and guide you towards making the best decision for you.

For more insights and support on this journey, consider checking out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

It’s filled with practical advice and strategies to help you navigate these tricky waters.

Remember, your relationship should add joy to your life, not take it away. You deserve nothing less.