Navigating the complex world of love can feel like a minefield, particularly when you’re not sure if it’s genuine love or just a case of lust.

You’ve met someone who makes your heart race and your stomach flutter, but there’s a nagging doubt in the back of your mind.

Is it love? Is it just lust? It can be confusing.

Love is profound, it’s selfless and enduring. Lust, on the other hand, is essentially about physical attraction and fantasy, often short-lived.

Here are eight tell-tale signs that what he feels for you may not be love at all, but simply lust. It might be tough to accept, but acknowledging it is the first step towards finding real, lasting love.

1) His attention is all about the physical

The foundation of any genuine relationship should be a blend of emotional, intellectual, and physical connection.

When you’re with him, observe – is his focus primarily on your body and the physical aspects of your relationship? This could be a red flag.

Love is about adoring the person for who they are, their thoughts, their dreams, their quirks, and yes, their body too – but it’s not exclusively about the physical.

It’s important to distinguish this early on—love is deep-rooted and lasting, whereas lust tends to be fleeting and surface-level.

2) He’s not interested in your day

I remember this one guy I dated. We had fun together, but he never really seemed interested in my life. He didn’t ask me about my work, my family, or even how my day was.

When you’re in love, you genuinely care about the other person’s life. You take an interest in their day, their thoughts, their dreams.

If he’s not showing any interest in your life outside of the time you spend together, it’s a clear sign that his feelings might be based more on lust than love.

It hurts to admit it, but it’s crucial to recognize these signs early on for what they are.

3) He avoids deep conversations

I once had a relationship where we would spend hours together, but deep, meaningful conversations were practically non-existent.

We’d chat about movies, music, food – but whenever I tried to delve deeper into topics like our dreams, our fears or our future, he’d skillfully steer the conversation back to safer waters.

In a love-based relationship, you’re not scared to dive into these deep waters together. You want to know their thoughts, their beliefs, their hopes and dreams.

If he constantly avoids these types of conversations, it’s a sign that it might not be love he’s feeling but just lust. It’s a harsh realization but one that can save you from unnecessary heartache in the long run.

4) He doesn’t introduce you to his circle

It’s like this: when a guy keeps you hidden away like a secret, it’s a major clue that his feelings might not be as genuine as you’d hope. Real love involves integrating you into his life, introducing you to his friends and family, and proudly showing you off.

But if he’s keeping you on the sidelines, it’s possible his feelings are more about the physical than the emotional. Lust can make someone want to keep things low-key, avoiding any deeper connections or commitments.

If you’re feeling like you’re stuck in the shadows, it might be time to reassess whether his intentions are truly about love or just satisfying his own desires.

5) He disappears after getting what he wants

When a guy ghosts you right after getting what he wants, it’s like a neon sign flashing “Lust over Love.”

See, love is all about being there for each other, through the highs and lows, thick and thin. But if he’s out the door the moment his desires are fulfilled, it’s a clear indicator that his feelings might not run very deep.

Love takes time, effort, and a willingness to stick around, even when things aren’t all sunshine and rainbows. But if he’s treating you like a convenience store, well, it’s probably time to look for someone who values more than just the quick fix.

6) He’s not there when you need him

There’s a quote that says, “You can always tell who’s important to someone by who they turn to when they’re hurting.”

 I’ve experienced relationships where support vanished the moment I needed it most—a stark contrast to carefree moments. If someone is only present during good times but absent during adversity, it could indicate shallow feelings—more lust than love.

In true love, partners stand together through thick and thin.  

7) He doesn’t make you feel special

In a relationship, everyone wants to feel cherished and special.

When a man is truly in love, he’ll make an effort to show how much he values you. This could be through words, actions, or subtle gestures that make you feel like you’re the only one for him.

I’ve been with guys who made me feel like just another girl in their life. There were no efforts to make me feel valued or special.

If he’s not making any effort to make you feel cherished, it’s a clear sign that he might be more driven by lust than love.

8) Your intuition tells you something is off

In my experience, the gut rarely lies.

You can ignore all the other signs, but your intuition? That’s something you should never overlook.

If deep down, you feel something isn’t right, trust that feeling. It could be that his actions don’t match his words or that you feel more like an option than a priority.

Remember, love isn’t just about passion and attraction. It’s about respect, care, and commitment.

The final thought

If these signs strike a chord with you, it’s crucial to remember – you deserve genuine love and respect.

Recognizing the signs is the first step towards understanding your worth and what you truly deserve in a relationship. It might be hard to accept, but denying the truth can lead to more pain down the road.

Trust your intuition. If something doesn’t feel right, it probably isn’t.

Love is about mutual respect, understanding, and caring for one another. It’s not just about the physical aspect of a relationship.

Don’t settle for less than what you deserve. You are worthy of love, respect, and someone who values you for who you are.

Take this time to reflect on your current situation. If it aligns with these signs, it might be time to re-evaluate your relationship.

And remember – it’s okay to walk away from something that doesn’t serve you anymore. It doesn’t mean you’ve failed. It means you’re strong enough to move on towards something better.

As the saying goes, sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince. Don’t lose hope – real love is worth waiting for.