Being unhappy sucks.

I literally can’t think of one person who would choose to be depressed and feel lonely if they had the choice.

What’s worse is having to put on a mask and pretend that everything’s okay because the people around you don’t care.

But the truth is, most people do. Someone who’s deeply unhappy just doesn’t know this…

And I’m guessing if you’re here, you’re the person who cares.

If you suspect one of the women in your life is secretly unhappy, but you want to be sure without asking them (which they’ll probably deny if they’re deeply depressed, anyway), there are signs you can look for.

No matter how hard someone tries to hide their sadness, some unconscious behaviors can give them away.

If the woman you’re worried about is genuinely unhappy, you might notice that…

1) Her eating and sleeping habits drastically change. 

According to psychology, our mental state heavily influences our physical habits.

If you notice your friend or partner eating more than usual, not eating at all, constantly sleeping, or experiencing insomnia, something probably isn’t right. 

And if these changes are extreme and persistent, you should reach out. 

You see, when someone’s content, they usually have stable eating and sleeping patterns. 

Sure, they can still have restless nights or indulge in comfort food once in a while, but their overall habits will stay consistent. 

2) She doesn’t seem interested in or enjoy her hobbies anymore. 

Another sign of unhappiness is a noticeable loss of interest in hobbies and activities someone used to enjoy. 

Chronic stress or depression usually leads to this, making things that used to be fun feel meaningless or like a burden. 

If your friend seems to have abandoned hobbies she used to be crazy about and shows no desire to pick them back up, there’s a pretty good chance that, deep down, she is unhappy. 

Happy people generally continue to enjoy their hobbies even when something stressful happens to them. They might even look for new ones to boost their spirits even more! 

So when a woman only does the bare minimum to get through her daily responsibilities, something’s up. 

3) She withdraws from social stuff. 

Besides dropping her hobbies, when a woman is secretly unhappy, she will likely withdraw from everything that requires energy. 

Aka, social stuff. 

When someone is not feeling great mentally, talking with people can feel overwhelming.

If your usually outgoing friend or partner suddenly starts turning down invites or seems less interested in hanging out, it might be time to check in on her.

These withdrawals can be sudden, or you might notice it only after weeks or months when looking back.

Isolating is a major red flag. 

Happy people generally look forward to seeing friends or family. They’re not necessarily more extroverted, but social activities don’t feel like a prison. 

4) She isn’t taking care of herself. 

Psychology suggests that when someone feels down, their motivation to do simple things like brushing their hair or getting dressed can completely disappear.

They might not see the point in putting effort into themselves. After a while, their internal struggles will be visible in their appearance. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. 

We all have lazy sweatpants days, and some people prefer this style daily. 

But if your fashion-forward bestie suddenly looks less and less like her put-together self, there might be deeper issues. 

When a woman is happy, she’ll typically care about her appearance. And even if you don’t have the same style or taste as her, you’ll see her radiating confidence. 

5) She seems hopeless and negative.

Like a gloomy appearance, unhappy women usually have a grim outlook on life. 

It’s common to have a hard time seeing the positive side of things when you’re not feeling great.

So, if a woman is secretly unhappy, you’ll notice this in how she speaks about life. 

If she regularly talks about feeling hopeless or seems unusually pessimistic about the future, paying closer attention is important. 

This could be a sign that she’s dealing with depression or severe stress.

Happy women have a more balanced outlook on life. They face challenges, too, but usually feel optimistic that things will get better. 

6) She’s super annoyed and moody. 

Irritability and mood swings can be a sign that a woman is struggling with emotional regulation. And this typically happens when, deep down, something isn’t right.

Have you noticed small things that normally wouldn’t bother her now trigger an outburst? 

Or that her moods seem unpredictable, all the time? 

Persistent irritability and moodiness are something worth paying attention to. 

A happy woman won’t have regular up and down moods and even handles most bad days with a balanced reaction. 

7) She’s at happy hour more often than usual.

People who are content with their lives enjoy drinking socially as much as the next person, but they never rely on substances to cope with their emotions. 

If a woman turns to alcohol or other substances, it could be a coping mechanism for underlying unhappiness. 

Alcohol and drugs numb pain and help people escape – that’s just facts.

When used recreationally, it isn’t always a bad thing. 

But when a woman starts using these more often than usual, it could be a serious sign that she might need help. 

8) She has little to no energy or motivation to do anything. 

Misusing alcohol or other substances can quickly drain someone’s energy, although this could happen on its own, too. 

Whatever the cause, being mentally and physically exhausted all the time can be a huge sign that someone is suffering in silence. 

Lacking energy and motivation can make it challenging to get through the day or complete simple tasks that were once manageable. 

If you notice your friend or partner is always tired and shows no interest in achieving goals she was once excited about, there might be some emotional stuff she’s struggling with. 

Happy people usually have a reasonable will to live. They may have low-energy days, but they bounce back fast and continue with their responsibilities and interests. 

9) She can’t seem to concentrate.

Sometimes, a woman might still feel motivated to do what she must but have an incredibly tough time concentrating, which could lead to a massive drop in productivity.

I’d know.

When I found out my ex-partner cheated on me, I wanted nothing but to thrive in my career so I could become financially independent faster.

But I couldn’t stay focused, made mistakes, and had a really hard time remembering what I had to do for the day.

If you notice a friend going through the same, I can almost guarantee she’s dealing with stress, anxiety, or depressing feelings, and her mind is preoccupied with issues that feel bigger than the task at hand. 

Don’t get me wrong…

Everyone can have off days.

But consistent difficulty focusing is a concern. 

10) She’s more sensitive to criticism than usual. 

Being criticized is never any fun. 

But when a woman is secretly unhappy, psychology suggests that she might have lower self-esteem, too. 

This can make any form of criticism, even constructive, seem very personal. 

Was she usually open to feedback, but now she becomes defensive or seems overly hurt by comments that never bothered her before?

That’s worth keeping an eye on. 

This increased sensitivity can be a sign that she’s struggling emotionally.

I’m not saying happy people like being criticized, but they typically see it as a chance to improve rather than a personal attack. 

11) She has a hard time making simple decisions. 

Unhappiness can make simple choices feel overwhelming. When someone’s having a hard time making sense of their emotions, it could feel like any decision they make might be the wrong one. 

This can lead to indecision and constant second-guessing.

If your friend keeps looking for reassurance for even the smallest choices or avoids making decisions altogether, it could be a sign that she’s struggling with things she doesn’t want to talk about. 

Happy people trust their gut and judgment. They could still look for advice, but generally, they make decisions on their own with relative ease.

Noticing these signs could change your friend or partner’s life. Constantly feeling sad or depressed is no joke. If you think something’s off, reach out.

You don’t need to ask her directly, either.

It can be super helpful to pop by with a movie suggestion and snacks or send uplifting quotes or links to songs that could make her feel good.

Sometimes, it’s the small gestures that get people out of their funk.