Navigating love isn’t always clear-cut, whether you’re making it work or about to call it quits.

As Tina Fey, founder of the Love Connection blog and a bonafide relationship expert, I’ve seen my share of breakups.

And let me tell you, there are often signs a woman is contemplating ending things long before the actual split.

These signs aren’t always loud and clear. In fact, they can be quite subtle, a quiet shift in behavior or attitude.

But once you know what to look for, they become easier to spot.

So here are 7 signs a woman is quietly thinking about leaving a relationship – insider knowledge from yours truly.

Paying attention to these could save you from blindsided heartache, or even open dialogue for improvement.

Let’s dive in.

1) Communication takes a nosedive

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. When it starts to wane, it’s often a red flag.

If your partner is thinking about ending the relationship, she may become less open and communicative.

Her responses might become short or vague, and she might avoid deep or meaningful conversations.

And it’s not just about the volume of communication, but also the quality.

If she’s no longer sharing her thoughts, feelings, or plans with you, it’s a sign she might be mentally checking out of the relationship.

This withdrawal can be subtle and gradual, which is why it’s so easy to miss.

But keeping an eye out for changes in communication can give you insight into her thoughts and feelings.

2) Intimacy becomes a thing of the past

A decrease in intimacy can be another subtle, yet telling sign.

In my experience, when a woman is contemplating a breakup, physical affection often dwindles.

And it’s not only about sex – it also includes hugging, holding hands, or even leaning in during conversations.

When touch becomes noticeably absent, it’s often a silent signal of a deeper issue.

Everyone has periods where they might not be as physically affectionate due to stress or other factors.

But if she consistently avoids your touch or seems uncomfortable with intimacy, she might be considering an exit strategy.

3) She’s suddenly more independent

Independence is a fantastic quality, but if your partner suddenly becomes overly self-reliant, it might be a sign she’s preparing to go solo.

Throughout my career, I’ve noticed that a woman contemplating a break-up often starts doing things on her own that you used to do as a couple.

This could range from going to social events alone to taking on tasks that were once shared, like grocery shopping or home repairs.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into the importance of maintaining individuality within a relationship.

However, when this independence seems to be pushing you out of the picture, it’s worth paying attention to.

Remember, this isn’t about stifling her independence – it’s about understanding the shifts and what they could mean for your relationship. 

4) She’s making more effort…but not with you

Suddenly you notice that she’s making more effort, but the tricky part is that it’s not directed at you.

It might seem like a positive thing if your partner starts taking more care of her appearance or working harder on personal projects.

But if these improvements don’t seem to involve you, it might be a sign she’s preparing for life after the relationship.

For instance, she might start dressing up more, but it’s always when she’s going out without you.

Or she could be pouring extra hours into work or a hobby, but not into spending quality time together.

This shift could indicate that she’s trying to build up her confidence or establish an identity separate from the relationship.

It might not mean she’s planning to leave right away, but it could suggest that she’s contemplating the possibility.

5) She avoids future plans

 

As an eternal optimist, I’m always looking towards the future.

But when a woman is considering leaving a relationship, she tends to shy away from planning ahead.

This isn’t about refusing to set a date for dinner next week.

It’s more about avoiding long-term commitments like booking vacations, planning big purchases, or discussing future life plans.

If she’s always been keen on planning and suddenly starts to hesitate when future talks come up, it could indicate that she’s unsure about whether you’re in her future.

Take note if she’s vague or noncommittal about plans that are months down the line.

This could be her way of leaving her options open without having to confront the issue directly.

6) She’s less interested in your life

This one’s a bit tough to swallow, but it’s important to address.

When a woman is contemplating ending a relationship, she often becomes less invested in her partner’s life.

It might start with her seeming disinterested in your day at work or not remembering important details about your friends or family.

This lack of interest can extend to your dreams, ambitions, and even your struggles.

The truth is, when we love someone, we take an interest in their world because their happiness matters to us.

So if she seems indifferent or disengaged from parts of your life that she used to be enthusiastic about, that could signal a deeper disconnection.

7) She puts up emotional walls

As someone who has dealt with emotional walls in my own relationships, I can tell you that they’re never a good sign.

If discussions about feelings and emotions are met with silence or defensiveness, it might be a sign that she’s protecting herself from emotional vulnerability.

This can often happen when a woman is considering leaving a relationship.

Love requires an openness that can feel risky, especially when a relationship is on shaky ground.

When these emotional walls go up, it’s often because she’s trying to guard her heart from further potential pain.

It might not mean the end is imminent, but it suggests she’s feeling uncertain and insecure within the relationship.

8) You just feel it

The last sign is perhaps the most important: You just feel it in your gut.

There’s something to be said for intuition.

If you have a persistent feeling that something isn’t right, don’t ignore it.

Your subconscious may be picking up on subtle changes that your conscious mind hasn’t fully acknowledged yet.

If you constantly feel like she’s pulling away, or if your relationship just doesn’t feel the same, it might be a sign she’s considering leaving.

This doesn’t mean you should jump to conclusions or make assumptions.

But it does mean you should trust your feelings and open up a dialogue about them.

Remember, relationships are about two people.

If one person feels off, it’s likely the other person does too.

Honesty, though difficult, is often the first step towards understanding and improvement.

Conclusion

Navigating the uncertainty of a relationship can be challenging.

But understanding these signs can provide some clarity, and hopefully, open up avenues for communication and resolution.

These signs are not definitive proof that she’s planning to leave, but they might suggest she’s wrestling with the idea.

It’s crucial to have open, honest conversations about your concerns.

If you’re interested in learning more about relationships, codependency, and how to maintain a healthy balance, my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship dives deeper into these topics.

Love is complex, but with understanding and communication, it can also be the most rewarding experience.

Keep learning, keep growing, and keep loving.