There’s a vast difference between being a grown woman and merely being an adult female.

The distinction lies in maturity. Being an adult female is merely a result of age, but being a genuinely grown woman is about how you behave, think, and interact with the world around you.

Unfortunately, not every woman has truly grown up yet. And it’s not always easy to spot, even for the person.

In this article, I’m going to highlight 9 signs that a woman hasn’t genuinely grown up yet.

It’s not about shaming or blaming, but rather about fostering self-awareness and growth.

Buckle up and let’s dive in.

1) She avoids responsibility

A key sign of maturity is the ability to take responsibility for one’s actions.

In life, we all mess up from time to time. We’re late for a meeting, we forget an important date, or we make a mistake at work. It’s part of being human.

The mature response is to admit the error, apologize if necessary, and make amends. This shows self-awareness, accountability, and respect for others.

However, if a woman constantly makes excuses, blames others, or tries to deflect attention away from her mistakes, it suggests she hasn’t genuinely grown up yet.

Evading responsibility is not just about avoiding the consequences of our actions. It’s also about refusing to learn from our mistakes and grow as individuals.

And that’s a sure sign of immaturity.

2) She struggles with financial independence

Financial independence is a major milestone in the journey to adulthood. As a grown woman, managing your finances, planning for the future, and making informed money decisions should be part of your life.

Let me share a personal example. When I first started working, I was thrilled with the freedom that my own paycheck brought. But along with it came bills, taxes, and unexpected expenses that I had never had to deal with before.

In my early 20s, I made some financial blunders – overspending on things I didn’t need and not saving enough.

It was a wake-up call and I realized that being an adult meant more than just earning money. It was about planning for the future, making smart choices, and being accountable for those decisions.

If a woman is constantly relying on others to bail her out of financial troubles or is unable to manage her money wisely, it’s a sign she hasn’t genuinely grown up yet.

We all stumble along the way, but learning from our mistakes and taking charge of our financial health is a vital part of growing up.

3) She lacks emotional intelligence

Emotional intelligence, also known as EQ, is the ability to understand, use, and manage your own emotions in positive ways to relieve stress, communicate effectively, empathize with others, overcome challenges, and defuse conflict.

According to psychologist Daniel Goleman, emotional intelligence accounts for nearly 90% of what sets high performers apart from others with similar technical skills and knowledge.

A woman who hasn’t genuinely grown up yet often struggles with emotional intelligence. She may have difficulty managing her emotions in stressful situations.

She might struggle with empathy, unable to see things from another person’s perspective. Or she might have a hard time maintaining positive relationships because of poor communication skills.

Growing up means learning to manage our emotions effectively and using them to build strong, healthy relationships.

4) She doesn’t respect boundaries

Respecting boundaries, both our own and those of others is a clear indicator of emotional maturity.

When we’re young, we often test the limits to see what we can get away with. But as we grow older, we learn to understand and respect the boundaries that define our relationships.

A woman who hasn’t genuinely grown up yet might consistently overstep the mark. She may invade other people’s personal space, dismiss their feelings, or ignore their preferences. Alternatively, she might allow others to cross her own boundaries without asserting herself.

Respect for boundaries is about understanding that each person is entitled to their personal space, feelings, and choices. 

5) She can’t handle criticism

No one enjoys being criticized, but how we react to it is a true testament to our maturity.

As we grow, we learn that constructive criticism is not a personal attack but an opportunity to improve. We understand that feedback, even when it’s difficult to hear, helps us become better in our personal and professional lives.

However, a woman who hasn’t genuinely grown up yet might react negatively to criticism. She may become defensive, angry, or even retaliate instead of considering the feedback objectively and using it as a stepping stone for growth.

Being able to handle criticism gracefully, learn from it, and move forward is a clear sign of maturity and emotional intelligence. It shows that we value growth more than our ego.

6) She holds onto grudges

We’ve all been hurt or betrayed at some point in our lives. It’s a painful part of the human experience.

But holding onto grudges and resentment only prolongs the pain and prevents us from moving forward.

A woman who hasn’t genuinely grown up yet often finds it challenging to let go of past hurts. She might bring up old issues during arguments or use past mistakes as ammunition against others. This not only stunts her personal growth but also puts a strain on her relationships.

But here’s the heartfelt truth: forgiveness isn’t about letting someone off the hook for their actions, but freeing ourselves from the burden of resentment. It’s about choosing to focus on the present and the future instead of being stuck in the past.

Growing up involves learning to forgive, not for others, but for our own peace and happiness.

It’s about understanding that everyone makes mistakes and admitting that we do too. It’s a tough, but necessary step towards genuine maturity.

7) She lacks self-awareness

Self-awareness is the ability to understand our own emotions, strengths, weaknesses, drives, and values. It’s like holding up a mirror to ourselves and honestly assessing what we see.

I remember a time in my life when I was constantly in conflict with those around me. It seemed like people were always misunderstanding me or taking things the wrong way. It wasn’t until a close friend gently pointed out that I might be the common denominator in all these conflicts, that I took a hard look at myself.

It wasn’t easy. In fact, it was downright uncomfortable. But it led me to realize that I was often defensive and quick to react. It was a tough pill to swallow, but it was also a turning point for me.

Since then, I’ve worked on becoming more self-aware and improving my reactions and interactions with others.

A woman who hasn’t genuinely grown up yet often lacks this self-awareness. She might blame others for her problems or fail to see how her actions affect those around her.

But true growth comes from introspection, accepting our flaws, and making a conscious effort to improve.

8) She’s overly dependent on others

Independence isn’t just about paying your own bills or living alone. It’s also about emotional and mental independence.

It’s about making your own decisions, standing your ground, and being comfortable with who you are.

A woman who hasn’t genuinely grown up yet often tends to be overly dependent on others. She might rely on her partner, friends, or family to make decisions for her or to validate her self-worth. She may struggle with making choices independently or feel lost without the approval of others.

True maturity involves developing a strong sense of self and the confidence to trust our own judgment.

It’s about knowing who we are, and what we want, and being unafraid to go after it, even if others don’t agree.

9) She doesn’t value personal growth

Perhaps the most revealing sign that a woman hasn’t genuinely grown up yet is her attitude toward personal growth.

If she’s content with staying in her comfort zone, resistant to change, or dismissive of learning new things, it shows a lack of maturity. Life is about growth and change. It’s about becoming better versions of ourselves every day.

A grown woman understands that personal growth is a lifelong journey. She embraces change, seeks out opportunities to learn, and constantly strives to improve herself.

Valuing personal growth is the cornerstone of maturity. It’s acknowledging that we’re working in progress and being okay with that. It’s about striving for better, not for perfection.

After all, the journey of personal growth isn’t about reaching a destination; it’s about the journey itself.

Final thoughts

The journey towards maturity is deeply personal and unique to each individual.

It’s not a race, and there’s no set timeline for when we should have it all figured out.

Recognizing the signs of immaturity is not about judging or blaming, but rather about fostering self-awareness and personal growth. It’s about understanding where we might be stunting our own growth and then taking steps to change that.

It’s about progress, not perfection. As long as we are learning, growing, and striving to be better versions of ourselves, we are on the right path.

After all, it’s these experiences that shape us into the grown women we aspire to become.