If only age and maturity went hand-in-hand, the world would be a much better place:

Unfortunately, reality doesn’t work that way. 

When it comes to immature women who never seem to grow up there are a number of red flags to watch for in terms of psychological indicators. 

Here’s a look at what to watch out for in a woman who’s never grown up.

Proceed with caution around this type of lady, because in addition to being her own worst enemy she’s often destructive and reckless to those around her as well: 

1) She seeks validation constantly

The emotionally immature woman seeks almost constant validation. 

She’s not happy with herself and she depends on a sense of worth by getting praise and recognition from others. 

This can manifest in many ways including overuse of social media and being very reliant on the opinions of others. 

As psychologist Dr. Beth Pausic, PsyD. explains: 

“These individuals suffer from low self-esteem and insecurity. These factors, coupled with an inability to process emotions, lead to looking to others for validation and approval.” 

2) She’s devastated by even casual criticism

Because she doesn’t have a strong sense of herself or how to manage her emotions, the immature woman is highly impacted by even casual criticism. 

Even constructive criticism or feedback has a tendency to throw her off balance. 

She just can’t tolerate it because she has no sense of her own value apart from the opinions and perspectives of other people. 

3) She can’t control her bad moods and temper 

The emotionally immature woman is wracked by her own emotional instability. 

If she feels it, those around her are going to feel it:

She has minimal self-control and has a tendency to reach a certain “boiling point” and just bubble over – consequences be damned. 

As Pausic observes: 

“With difficulty regulating emotions, frustration can be a trigger point. This may show up when they are faced with stressful situations or feel like they aren’t getting their own way.”

4) She blames others for her life being subpar

Alongside the victim mentality is a tendency to project blame onto anyone but herself. 

When a woman has issues with her emotional maturity, she will often stoop blaming others for what’s not going well in her life. 

Maybe it’s an ex, a bad boss, or a health condition:

It’s always about the struggles she’s facing and never about what’s in her control. 

We all get frustrated and need to vent, but this crosses the line into her adopting a victim mentality. 

5) She doesn’t have empathy for other people

Because of often feels like a victim and is focused on how others have done her wrong, the emotionally immature and unwise woman tends to lack empathy. 

This is unfortunate because it leads to a cycle of decreasing self-awareness. 

Because she believes most of her struggles are somebody else’s fault she barely grows in self-awareness and lashes out when somebody encourages more self-reflection. 

It’s a vicious cycle. 

Psychotherapist Kaytee Gillis, LCSW puts it well:

“Without empathy, an emotionally immature partner will convince themselves that they were the one who was wronged in any argument instead of taking ownership of their own actions.”

6) She’s impulsive and lacks self-discipline 

Self-discipline doesn’t come easy for many of us. That’s nothing new. 

But for an emotionally and intellectually undeveloped woman, this is more extreme and immediately noticeable. 

She just does what she wants without much reflection and doesn’t have much self-discipline to speak of at all. 

She starts a diet one week and breaks it a few days later without caring; she overspends her budget and goes deeply into debt for the sake of a weekend in Vegas. 

It’s all immaturity manifesting itself. And it all has consequences. 

7) She avoids accountability for her actions

The emotionally immature woman who hasn’t internalized many of life’s lessons tends to be very resistant to owning her mistakes. 

“Lack of self-awareness and reflection may be evident when they are unable to take accountability or understand how their behavior can hurt those around them,” notes Pausic.

Even when she does acknowledge that she messed up, the low-EQ (emotional intelligence) woman is very unlikely to actually make amends for it. 

She’s fine with letting somebody else pick up the pieces. She doesn’t feel that it should be that big a deal, even if her words or actions have directly harmed others. 

8) She doesn’t stick to her boundaries or promises

There’s no point in having boundaries if they aren’t maintained:

But an emotionally immature woman tends to set limits that she then doesn’t follow. 

She tells her ex not to call or text her again and then responds to his messages two days later…

She swears she won’t go out binge-drinking again and then does it again on the weekend…

Her promises stop meaning much to other people (or to herself) because she doesn’t keep them or follow up on them when they’re broken. 

9) She needlessly stirs up drama and conflict 

As if there isn’t already enough drama and fighting to go around, the low-EQ woman contributes to stirring up more of it. 

Even though it’s entirely unnecessary, she picks fights and argues on a regular basis. 

In some cases she may also be extremely passive and avoid any conflict whatsoever, refusing to stand up for herself or anybody else. 

Both of these extremes tend to become a form of self-sabotage and lessen both self-respect and respect from others. 

As Gillis writes: 

“This can be anything from avoiding conflict at all costs or, at the other end of the spectrum, seeming to engage in conflict with many different people all of the time.”

10) She balks and changes and refuses to compromise

Change is inevitable in life, but when a woman lacks emotional immaturity and hasn’t learned many of life’s lessons, she resists change. 

This goes far beyond just having a hard time with difficult transitions, which is something everybody struggles with:

This is her actively refusing to adapt to life’s changing circumstances. 

It also manifests as her refusing to compromise or see somebody else’s point of view in a discussion about competing needs or perspectives. 

She only cares about her side.

As psychology writer Noah Williams notes:

“It will become obvious that she will not compromise on any issue. She will insist that things go her way, regardless of what that looks like.”

What to do next…

Emotional immaturity doesn’t have to be the final word.

Everybody struggles with these sorts of issues to a certain degree. 

But if a woman is displaying many of the more extreme signs of immaturity and unwise traits and decision-making in life, it can be necessary for her and her loved ones to pursue a more concerted effort to address the issues.

“To help cope with an emotionally immature person, set healthy boundaries, initiate productive conversations, and seek out professional help,” advises mental health researcher Angelica Bottaro. 

“Becoming emotionally mature is possible, but the person has to want to change in order for it to work.”