I’ve always suspected that there’s a strong connection between how we see ourselves and how we treat ourselves (and consequently, how others treat us).

It can define the way we live our lives—whether we let ourselves be pushed around or whether we stand tall, knowing our worth.

I remember the time when my friend Annie couldn’t say “no” to anyone, not even when it meant sacrificing her own peace.

It made me realize something crucial: low self-respect sneaks in through the small cracks in our self-worth, and before we know it, it’s dictating how we live.

So, how can you tell if this sneaky little trait is affecting your life? Here are ten signs that might just give you the answer.

1) She apologizes excessively

Repeated and unnecessary apologizing is a clear sign of low self-respect.

Why? Well, when a woman constantly says “sorry,” even when there’s no need, it often means she is placing her needs and feelings below those of others.

Apologizing is a vital part of social etiquette but overdoing it can indicate a lack of self-respect.

It’s as if she feels she’s inconveniencing others with her presence or actions, even when she’s not.

2) She doesn’t stand up for herself

Here’s something I’ve observed personally. A friend of mine, let’s call her Lisa, never seemed to stand up for herself.

Every time someone took advantage of her kindness or disrespected her, Lisa would just let it slide.

She would tell me, “I don’t want to create a scene,” or “It’s just not worth the fight.” But over time, I realized this pattern was more than just avoiding conflict.

Not standing up for oneself often indicates a lack of self-respect. It means she values other people’s feelings and opinions over her own, even when she’s being wronged.

This lack of assertiveness can have a significant impact on a woman’s overall happiness and mental health. 

3) She constantly criticizes herself

Self-deprecation can be a form of humor, but when a woman consistently criticizes herself or her abilities, it can be a sign of low self-respect.

Research indicates that girls are more likely than boys to develop risk factors for depression during early adolescence, including negative self-talk and self-criticism.

These behaviors can significantly impact self-esteem and self-respect, contributing to the onset of depression and anxiety (Nolen-Hoeksema & Girgus, 1994). 

Basically, it acts like a self-fulfilling prophecy. The more she criticizes herself, the less she believes in her capabilities, leading to lower self-respect. 

4) She prioritizes others over herself

One of the most common signs of low self-respect is when a woman consistently puts others’ needs and wants before her own.

It’s a noble trait to care for others, but when it comes at the cost of her own health, happiness or well-being, it’s a clear indicator of low self-respect.

She might feel that her needs are less important or that she doesn’t deserve to put herself first. This can lead to burnout and even resentment over time.

Self-respect means understanding that your needs are just as important as those of others.

5) She tolerates disrespectful behavior

Tolerance of disrespectful behavior from others is a glaring sign of low self-respect. This could be in the form of verbal, emotional, or even physical abuse.

If a woman finds herself making excuses for such behavior or justifying it, it indicates that she doesn’t value herself enough to demand better treatment.

Psychology tells us that people with high self-respect would not allow themselves to be treated poorly. They understand their worth and expect others to recognize it too.

6) She struggles with self-care

Self-care is essential for maintaining self-respect.

A study by Omisakin and Ncama (2011) shows that taking care of yourself helps you understand your purpose and position in life, which leads to personal growth and healing.

When a woman has low self-respect, she may neglect self-care because she doesn’t fully value herself.

However, when a woman has low self-respect, she might neglect this essential practice, believing she doesn’t deserve it or that other things are more important.

I’ve seen women struggling with this. They pour their heart and soul into their work, their family, their friends, but when it comes to themselves, they’re running on empty.

This neglect of self-care is not just skipping a spa day or a workout.

Ignoring one’s emotional health, not taking enough rest, or not feeding oneself properly are some of the warning signs of low self-respect.

Your body and mind are your most significant assets; they deserve to be taken care of.

7) She has a hard time saying “no”

A clear sign of low self-respect is when a woman finds it hard to say “no”.

She might take on more than she can handle, overcommit, or agree to things she doesn’t want to do, all because she finds it difficult to refuse.

I’ve been there myself. I used to say “yes” to everything, fearing that saying “no” would make me seem rude or uncaring.

But over time, I realized that this was eroding my self-respect. I was prioritizing other people’s needs and wants over my own well-being.

Learning to say “no” is an essential step towards building self-respect. It’s completely okay to refuse something if it doesn’t align with your values, capabilities or comfort.

8) She seeks external validation

While it’s natural to appreciate acknowledgment from others, relying heavily on external validation is a sign of low self-respect.

If a woman constantly seeks approval from others for her choices or actions, it suggests she’s not confident in her own judgement. It’s like she needs others to confirm her worth.

Interestingly, this constant search for validation often leaves her feeling even more insecure and dissatisfied. Why? Because it places the power of her self-worth in the hands of others.

9) She downplays her success

Downplaying success is another subtle sign of low self-respect.

If a woman tends to dismiss her achievements or attribute them to luck rather than her own hard work, it indicates that she may not respect or value herself enough to acknowledge her own efforts.

This reluctance to accept praise and recognition can stem from a deep-seated belief that she’s not deserving or that her accomplishments are insignificant.

Every woman with a healthy self-respect understands that success is not just luck, but a result of hard work, dedication, and skill.

10) She stays in unhealthy relationships

Perhaps one of the most telling signs of low self-respect is when a woman stays in unhealthy or toxic relationships.

She may tolerate poor treatment, disrespect, or even abuse because she may not believe that she deserves better.

Our relationships are a reflection of how we see and value ourselves. If a woman respects herself, she will not allow anyone to treat her poorly.

Final thoughts: Self-respect is learned

It’s funny how we often think that self-respect is something innate, like eye color or a quirky laugh.

But I’ve come to understand that it’s something you cultivate, piece by piece, experience by experience.

I’ve seen it in my own life, how a lack of self-respect can slowly chip away at your happiness, leaving you feeling like you’re never quite enough.

But here’s the thing: once you start recognizing these signs, once you accept that maybe, just maybe, you deserve better, that’s when the change begins.

You don’t need to become a different person; just embrace the person you already are.

And in the wise words of Carl Rogers, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

Let’s start here, today, with acceptance—and let the journey to self-respect follow naturally from there.