You’ve been talking to him for some while. Maybe you’ve even gone on a number of dates; maybe you’re slowly but surely wondering whether you should take things further.

But will he treat you well once you two get together? Or will he suddenly switch?

While I can’t make any promises – everyone puts their best foot forward in the early stages of dating, so you’re never quite sure how things will turn out further down the road – I can definitely point you in the right direction.

Without further ado, these are the 6 signs a man will treat you well in a relationship.

1) He doesn’t send you mixed signals

If you’re already doubting his intentions and you’re not even together yet, it’s probably not a good start.

Does he shower you with affection one day only to disappear for the next three?

Does he never address what you two are or where things are heading?

Does he pull away upon the slightest hint of vulnerability?

If your answer to these questions is yes, it means he is sending you mixed signals, which is setting up a foundation of insecurity and uncertainty within the relationship – before you’ve even made it official.

In her book The Selfish Romantic, life coach Michelle Elman says that the term “mixed signals” is a misnomer: “It implies that there are both positive and negative signals, when actually the whole signal is just inconsistency and unreliability.”

Therefore, the first way to determine whether a man will treat you well in a relationship is to take a step back from the situation as it is now (not as you want it to be) and look at it more objectively.

Is he consistent in his pursuit of you? Does he continually display his affection? Can you rely on him?

Have a think.

2) He’s interested in you on a friendship level

Look, he might give you a bouquet of flowers every day, but if he doesn’t genuinely want to connect with you through deep conversation and shared experience, it’s likely not going to work out.

Gifts or romantic gestures will only keep the spark going for so long. What’s more, many of these will slowly dissipate as your relationship lessens in intensity, leaving behind a gaping hole with nothing to fill it.

Sounds quite depressing, right?

Yet that’s what often happens when you get together with someone based on purely sexual and romantic attraction.

I’m speaking from personal experience. I once dated a guy I was insanely in love with only to realize half a year later that we had literally nothing to say to each other.

So, the next question I’m going to ask you is this: if you weren’t attracted to him, would you be close friends with him?

Be honest. I say that as someone who used to be in denial about my answer for years, and let’s just say it didn’t end well.

A man who views you as his best friend rather than “just” a lover is more likely to want to actively spend time with you and foster a genuine connection.

3) He has high-quality long-term friendships

And while we’re on the topic of friendship, a man’s character isn’t just determined by how he treats you specifically. Oftentimes, you can tell a great deal from his relationships with others.

What are his friends like? If you don’t like the way his friends act, remember that this might be how he is when you’re not around.

Does he have long-term friendships that are high in quality? Or is he like a butterfly, changing friends like flower petals? Does he have any friends to begin with?

How does he treat people he doesn’t find sexually attractive? What is his approach to waitresses, cashiers, or other hospitality and customer service workers?

He might treat you like a princess, but as long as he is rude to others or has no quality friendships to speak of…

It’s the true core that hides behind his romantic attraction to you.

4) He is emotionally open with you

“Vulnerability can strengthen relationships by building trust and intimacy,” says Tchiki Davis, Ph.D.

It’s also such a vital factor in a healthy romantic relationship that you essentially can’t build a thriving long-term connection without it.

And yet many people are oblivious to their partner’s emotional unavailability, especially if it’s hidden behind grand romantic gestures and promises of a heavenly future together.

Look, the truth is that a man who will treat you well and who is genuinely committed to you isn’t just going to talk the talk and put on a front.

On the contrary, he will show you his true unadulterated self and trust you to be gentle with him. He will tell you about his past relationships, his family dynamic, and his innermost fears.

He will be as honest as possible and he will expect the same of you.

Because it is only through true vulnerability that you can understand each other and grow together.

5) He takes initiative

Remember how I said that the early stages of getting to know someone are when everyone puts their best foot forward?

Well, this basically means that this is when a man’s best side is on display. And if he doesn’t take initiative now, what makes you think he will do so when you’re his partner or wife?

Exactly.

A man who treats you well is a man who plans dates, surprises you with little gestures of affection, and actively wants to spend quality time with you.

He’s a man who doesn’t get so comfortable that he lets his relationship deteriorate before his eyes.

He’s a man who always pursues you because he knows that love is a verb, not a noun, and that your presence in his life isn’t a certainty. It’s conditional upon his treatment of you.

Yep, it’s time for questions again:

• Does he come up with his own date ideas?
• Does he reach out first when you haven’t been in contact for a bit?
• Does he make you feel appreciated and wanted?

6) He respects your autonomy

Some men can claim to love you and still disrespect you, from dismissing your feelings to always doubting the validity of your knowledge or the mastery of your skill.

This is why a huge sign a man will treat you well in a relationship is that he fully respects your autonomy, including your views, opinions, core values, and decisions.

As a result, your relationship will grow in strength over time, helping you both thrive individually and as a couple.

As psychologist Mark Travers PhD says, “By respecting each other’s autonomy and making room for each other’s individual differences, couples will develop a greater sense of security and stability within their relationship—even amidst change.

Instead of resisting differences, celebrate them as priceless opportunities to learn more about one another.”

There is always an element of uncertainty

While the six signs above can tell you a lot about whether a man will treat you well once you’re together, the simple truth is that you can never be quite sure.

As couples get to know each other better, relax around one another, and face various challenges together, they slowly come to recognize whether they make for a good match or not.

In other words, you have to trust that whatever happens in the future, you’ll be able to deal with it – whether that is an incredible relationship that perhaps ends in a marriage proposal or potential heartbreak.

Uncertainty is part of the game. In the end, that’s what makes love so very terrifying yet so very beautiful.