Some guys just never grow up. Or so it seems. 

But it’s actually true:

Some men sadly remain frozen in a state of childhood patterns and behaviors without ever really facing the responsibilities and realities of adult life. 

Psychology provides valuable insights about how to identify these guys and understand the roots of their issues. 

Let’s take a look: 

1) Avoidance of responsibility 

Immature guys who will never grow up have a severe allergy to responsibility.

As soon as they are asked to account for their actions or to own up to what they’ve done, they disappear or are full of excuses. 

It’s like they never got the memo that life doesn’t care about excuses and that sometimes we have to be the one who is responsible: it’s just not a concept they choose to own up to.

As Dr. Kristin Davin, Psy.D. observes: 

“They don’t acknowledge what they did wrong or when they messed up. They never offer up an apology. They may wait for you to ask for one and then give the proverbial, ‘I am sorry’ with nothing behind it.”

2) Dependency on parents

Guys who will never grow up have a tendency to be overly close with their parents, especially their mom. 

To translate this into everyday language, they tend to be “mama’s boys.”

This means that they often fall into a relationship pattern of expecting their wife or girlfriend to become like a maternal figure, cleaning up after them and comforting their every bruised knee. 

It’s far from love… 

As psychotherapist Marni Feuerman, LCSW, LMFT explains: 

“People who are emotionally immature sometimes have intense and dysfunctional relationships with their parents. For men, this can include how they relate to their mothers.”

3) Never any real ambition or goals for the future

Immature guys have no real ambition or goals for the future. 

They waffle around making excuses or talking about “one day,” but that day never comes. 

Instead, it just serves as a placeholder for an imagined future that will make everything “fine” when it arrives. 

But it doesn’t arrive, and the guy already knows it won’t. It’s just easy to say or to mention that he doesn’t know.

“If you ask a guy what he wants for his future and he shrugs or mumbles about how he doesn’t know, he’s pretty damn immature,” notes Preeti Serai.

4) Financial irresponsibility

Immature guys are financially irresponsible and reckless about their money. 

They spend too much, they make bad investments, they treat money like it’s nothing and they take it for granted that somebody else will bail them out. 

Who exactly is that “somebody else?”

Somehow they rarely stop to think that part over. 

As clinical psychologist Carla Manly, Ph.D. writes:

“When it comes to finances—whether setting a budget, creating a savings account, or spending appropriately—an immature partner will often have difficulty navigating monetary issues in responsible ways.”

5) Their friends are flaky and immature too

Flaky, immature guys have a tendency to make friends with fellow bozos. 

They don’t exactly make a secret of it:

Their “bros” have an IQ hovering around room temperature and get up to all sorts of drunken hijinks that make high schoolers look mature. 

This behavior seems like it would end at 30, maybe 35…40? Still no? 

It’s not happening. They’re a joke for life. 

As Feuerman notes: 

“An immature person might prefer to spend time with others who also lack emotional maturity, as these individuals are less likely to question, criticize, or challenge their behavior.”

6) Impulsive behavior and lack of empathy

Immature men have trouble restraining their impulses and desires. 

If they want something, they buy it. If they’re hungry, they snack. If they see a beautiful woman they start salivating.

They seem to have no ability or desire to hold in their immediate reactions and instincts and just jump on whatever catches their eye even if doing so hurts those they love including their wife or girlfriend. 

As psychotherapist Kaytee Gillis, LCSW-BACS writes: 

“Without empathy, an emotionally immature partner will convince themselves that they were the one who was wronged in any argument instead of taking ownership of their own actions.”

7) Gets his feathers easily ruffled 

Men who never grow up tend to have a very hard time containing their temper. 

Now everybody regardless of gender has times when they’ve just plain “had it.” Fair enough. 

But with a man who never grows up it’s far more than just now and then:

It’s a frequent pattern of outbursts when he doesn’t get his way, throwing tantrums, becoming verbally abusive and overall acting like a petulant preteen. 

“While anyone can have a bad day, look for a pattern of outbursts that are inappropriate to the situation or moments when they seem out of control or unable to calm down,” notes Gillis. 

8) Fear of commitment and long-term relationships

He’s afraid to settle down or commit to anyone, even somebody he loves. 

The immature man wants love, companionship and affection, but he doesn’t want to make a real commitment:

He just wants love on command, or intimacy when he’s in the mood. He doesn’t want the responsibility, nor does he want the real risk of having his heart broken or getting in something truly serious that won’t be easy to extricate himself from.

As mental health coach Anne Duvaux writes:

“An immature man may hesitate or avoid entering into serious, long-term relationships or making substantial life commitments. 

This fear can manifest as a reluctance to settle down, establish future plans, or invest emotionally in a relationship, usually due to a fear of responsibility or a desire to maintain personal freedom.”

9) They flip out even at well-meaning feedback and criticism

Immature guys don’t take criticism well. 

In fact, they don’t take it at all. 

Even the slightest interruption of praise and support causes them to go haywire.

They act like they’ve been betrayed or unfairly criticized. They accuse others of trying to undermine or compete with them, even when it’s actually useful feedback. 

It’s bizarre and totally disproportionate. 

“Even the smallest criticism sets them off,” observes Davin. 

“They make the issue about them instead of listening to what you have to say that might be a valid issue. They make everything about themselves and cannot take a step back and look at the situation rationally.”

10) Hiding from conflict or seeking it out

There are two main paths of the man who won’t grow up:

He’s always spoiling for a fight or else he cowers from confrontation of any kind. 

Both extremes are problematic because they indicate a man who is still a bit of a bully or who is overly timid and won’t stand up for himself. 

Both extremes are maladaptive and indicate a man who won’t grow up and who seeks out conflict as a way to express inner insecurity or hides from all confrontation to escape any feeling of danger or risk. 

11) Addictive behaviors and substance abuse 

Immature guys who never grow up have a lot of trouble with addictive behaviors and substance abuse. 

They turn to substances when life doesn’t give them the comfort and reassurance they’re seeking. 

This form of self-sabotage is sad to see but is quite common among men who don’t want to face the realities of life. 

“Life challenges such as traumatic events can also affect a child’s ability to mature at an age-appropriate rate,” points out Manly. 

“While trauma may thrust one person into early maturity, the same type of trauma may stunt the psychological growth of another individual.”

12) Entitled and demanding of attention

Immature guys who will never grow up constantly need to be the center of attention. 

They sulk and pout if the conversation turns from them and they seek out laughs and attention whenever possible. 

It’s like they need reassurance that people see they are there and they exist. 

This can become very aggravating over time and lead to numerous conflicts and falling outs over his behavior when a guy is so needy for attention. 

Peter pan syndrome

Men who have never grown up are sometimes referred to as suffering from Peter Pan Syndrome. 

This term was coined quite a while ago, but is still very accurate today, referring to a man who continues to live in a childlike fantasy world despite his adult age. 

“During the 1980s, this phenomenon was dubbed “Peter Pan syndrome,”  observes Feuerman. 

“The term was popularized by a psychologist named Dan Kiley, who published a book in 1983 titled, ‘The Peter Pan Syndrome: Men Who Have Never Grown Up.’”

If a man has the signs above then there’s no two ways about it:

He’s got a case of Peter Pan Syndrome, and it may not be curable.