Oscar Wilde, Irish author and all-round quote machine, once said the famous words: “They spoil every romance by trying to make it last forever.”

Now, Wilde is normally very on point with his words of wisdom, particularly in the realm of being yourself and class commentary, but I’m not so sure about this one.

At first, it feels like a super cynical take on love. Isn’t the whole point of love to make it last forever?

But then I thought a little deeper on it. Ruminated, or the 2024 version of ruminated, if you will.

And I think the guy might be right. Well, just a little bit.

After all, aren’t there some kinds of love that are only designed to last for a little while?

I’ve been blessed to have many great loves in my life. From summer flings that burned out due to distance, or highschool romances that fizzled to make room for the necessary life experiences of travel, soul searching, and career building.

But does the fact that they didn’t go the long mile make them any less precious?

Nope. Not at all.

Of course, some of us might be searching for that forever love. And I won’t lie: I am a little over the short-term romances.

You know the kind, the one you see in the weathered old hands of that couple intertwined at the traffic lights. The ones who look as if they met in high school and will probably die together, The Notebook style.

If you are looking for the signs that a man will love you forever—I can help you with that.

This time, we will be turning to the wisdom of psychologists. (It does make me think, I wonder what Oscar Wilde himself would have to say about these experts in love?)

Let’s start with my favorite sign: the helping hand.

1) They love helping you out with tasks

A few years ago The Australian National University put their brightest minds together to research the concept of love as a “phenomenon”.

If you think about it, love is a phenomenon. I mean, what other act has us collectively losing our senses, making us feel as if we are invincible?

In the process, the researchers in this study found that something known as “service to the other” is a telling sign of love.

Basically, they are saying that a man who is willing to step up and get his hands dirty, is a man who is in love. And likely, for a long time.

Dates are undeniably the fun and thrilling part of romance and courtship.

Anyone is able to bring you a bouquet of roses or take you out for Italian on a Friday night (trust me, this is the bare minimum!), but the truly loving man is the one who’s going to take on the less sexy side of romance: the not-so-fun chores and the endless practical tasks.

He’s the one posting the denim jacket you sold on Vinted when you don’t have time to get to the busy post office at peak time.

He’s the one shoveling mountains of snow off your chilly driveway when you need to leave for work in 10 minutes.

Yep, he is the one showing his love in tangible ways. You can literally see the way he feels about you.

So, what motivates him to lend a helping hand not out of duty but out of genuine enjoyment?

Well, it’s the joy of it all. He is genuinely delighted to make your life that extra bit easier. 

For him, there’s a real satisfaction in seeing you sigh with relief as he tackles a task that was going to overwhelm you.

Go on, take these little chores as a clear indicator of his commitment.

2) They love you, just as you are

Sometimes it is the little, ordinary things that point towards a commitment that withstands the test of time.

American psychologist John Welwood suggests that real love comes down to one simple thing: an unfettered acceptance of the other.

In an article on love for the Association for Transpersonal Psychology, he breaks it down, saying it hinges on “appreciating others” and “letting them be as they are.”

When a man values you for who you are, allows you the freedom to express yourself, and stands unwavering through life’s many ups and downs, consider it a win in the realm of love. 

This is because a man who loves you long-term will stand by you and embrace the messy, chaotic parts because he knows that’s when his presence matters most.

Make no mistake—it’s not so much about finding someone to fill a void within you, it’s about choosing a partner who complements the incredible person you already happen to be.

And I’m going to bring it back to my all-time favorite Irish poet here…

As Oscar Wilde once said, “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

3) They don’t fall for people outside the relationships

This one might be a sensitive subject for some—particularly if you are like me, and have trust issues due to being cheated on in past relationships.

A comprehensive study on monogamy in the journal The Archives of Sexual Behavior found that people who are more likely to be in committed long-term relationships do not engage in infidelity.

I know this sounds like such an obvious one. Like, surely the man who will love me forever won’t cheat, right?

But in this day and age, let’s face it: we are offered up a seemingly bottomless pool of choices. 

New people are ready to date us, and they are just a casual swipe away on Bumble, on Hinge, on Raya—you name your type, there’s an app for it!

As a result, loyalty and faithfulness are deeply underrated attributes these days.

So, if you have found a man who has deliberately and intentionally picked you—it really, really means something.

Being chosen daily by someone who prioritizes commitment over curiosity is a tell-tale sign that this guy is in it for the long run.

Through his words and actions, you know he is committed to stand by your side through thick and thin.

4) They’re in a better mood around you—you bring out the very best in them

Research on love’s impact on the nervous system concluded that those who are very much in love tend to experience another unique phenomenon. 

Wait for it… it’s a fascinating one.

It’s higher energy levels! Yep, when they are in your fine company.

So, how can you tell? Well, think about it. When you walk in the room, does he smile? Maybe light up a little?

You can take that as a sure sign of his love.

Seriously. If he is always emanating enthusiasm, excitement, and an undeniable zest for life whenever you are around him, it isn’t just surface-level joy—-it’s pointed at something much deeper.

It shows that he sees you as a source of joy, comfort, and all-round positive vibes. 

To him, you are way more than just a companion—you are his catalyst for joy, his source of laughter. You are happiness personified, baby!

It might feel like having a battery that lasts forever, and that’s a pretty good sign that the love will stand the test of time.

5) They seriously trust you

Research carried out by the University of Calgary found that when a partner experienced “greater trust” in their partner, they were more likely to be optimistic about the relationship and faithful in the long run.

If you have a feeling your man has this “greater trust” in you, there’s a good chance you will feel it.

Why? Because this unshakeable trust is the kind that runs deep, the kind that becomes the foundation of something more profound and long-term.

He is not the dude who is casting doubts on the relationship or questioning your every move or decision. 

When a man trusts you in this authentic, meaningful way, it’s like having a solid, enduring foundation for your love. 

It offers an unrivaled sense of security that allows your connection to grow naturally.

Final thoughts

If you are wondering if your fella is in it for the long haul, fear not, because we now have the unmistakable signs that shout he is eternally into you.

If he embraces you for the fantastic human you are—quirks, flaws, and all—take it as a glaring signal of enduring love.

If he effortlessly takes on your life’s peskiest tasks, congrats, you have found yourself a gem. And if he does it with a smile? Even better!

Trust, the foundation of any long-lasting relationship, is another major green flag. If he places implicit trust in you, consider it a recipe for enduring love.

If your presence alone fills his life with joy and energy, well, he knows he sees a keeper in you.