6 signs a man secretly thinks you’re “the one,” according to psychology

Marcel Deer by Marcel Deer | May 6, 2024, 3:04 pm

It’s time to get out your detective gear.

Grab your magnifying glass, throw on your Sherlock Holmes cap, and light up your pipe.

OK, maybe skip the pipe, but it’s definitely time to get sleuthing if you want to know what a man secretly thinks about you.

In fact, why not look into what some of the most skilled investigators into human behavior have to say? 

Psychologists spend their careers studying things like love, attraction, and keeping secrets. If anyone can help you figure out if a guy’s covertly crazy about you, it’s them.

Here are six signs a man secretly thinks you’re “the one,” according to psychology. If they can’t help you figure out what’s on his mind and in his heart, I don’t know what will!

1) He tries too hard to “keep it real”.

Keeping a secret is tough. 

Researchers looking into keeping secrets found that it’s hard mental work. Secrets can be a source of stress and anxiety.

Each time your mind wanders to a secret, it can distract you from other thoughts, make you ruminate on that secret, and affect your overall well-being.

One of the biggest problems with keeping secrets is that it makes the keeper feel inauthentic. They feel like they’re not being open and honest, and this can really gnaw away at them.

But there may be a good reason why a man is hiding his feelings from you. He might already be attached, or you might. You might be “claimed” by one of his friends already.

Or he might just feel shy or like he doesn’t deserve a person like you.

Whatever the reason, he might reveal that he has a secret in a particular way.

One clear sign that this is getting to him is that he goes out of his way to try to make everyone think he’s authentic about everything else. He’ll say things like “Believe me” and “I’m not lying” when there’s really no need.

He’ll repeat himself and check that people believe him a little too often.

All of this can show you a clue that he’s got something deep in his heart he’s not yet ready to admit.

2) He’s going to flirt.

If you’re already in a relationship with this guy, things might be different.

He’ll probably treat you better than anyone he’s ever been with before and probably better than you’ve had it, too.

But this could also be a real secret passion where he believes you’re the one and only person for him, yet he hasn’t done anything about it yet.

Except maybe he has.

It’s entirely possible that he’s already shown his hand and continues to do it every time you meet. Maybe he’s flirting with you all the time, but you’re just not picking up on his style.

According to research into flirting, there are some really common things people do when they’re attracted to someone and some things that are tailored to their flirting style.

For example, most people will see getting physically close, giving compliments, and being really positive and engaging as signs of flirting. And they are.

But this research also shows that if you’re expecting a “traditional flirt,” a man who’ll make the first move and try to direct the game, you may be in for a surprise.

That’s because there are also “polite flirts” guys who go the extra mile to show they respect you in their interactions. They normally keep things non-suggestive and hands-off. That contrasts strongly with “physical flirts” who will touch you often, doing things like giving hugs, light touches on the arm, and sitting right beside you.

“Playful flirts” will use tons of humor and play in their interactions. And guys with a “sincere” style are going to make a big deal out of your intellectual and emotional connection rather than a physical one.

So it’s entirely possible that the guy has been showing you the whole time how much he likes you. Maybe you just weren’t seeing the clues.

3) He’ll really listen.

There’s listening, and then there’s listening.

When you interact with anyone, they give you a certain percentage of their attention.

This can range from almost zero if they’re simultaneously playing with their phone up to almost 100% if they’re absolutely enchanted by you.

So, where does this guy fall on the scale, and how can you tell?

Psychologists looking into active listening suggest that there are some great big clues that a guy is giving you his sincere and undivided attention.

First, he’ll give you non-verbal clues like “smiling, maintaining eye contact, standing or sitting in close proximity, using an open body posture, and speaking with warm vocal tones.”

He’ll also show you he’s listening by following your story and repeating it back to you in parts. He’ll summarize what you say to check that they’ve understood, say “oh” and “uh-huh” in all the right places, and ask relevant questions.

All of this shows you the guy is paying close attention and that can be a gesture of affection.

So if this guy can’t keep his eyes off of you and hangs on your every word, chances are good that he’s got it bad for you.

4) He feels great around you.

Sherlock Holmes was able to deduce a person’s size and gait from their footprints, but brain scientists have definitely one-upped him with their tech.

These days, they have MRI or magnetic resonance imaging machines that can actually let us see inside people’s brains. At least, trained scientists are able to look at electrical activity to see which parts of a person’s brain are activated when they think about something in particular.

From these studies, they’re able to learn about what each part of the brain does. They know that one part lights up like a Christmas tree when a person is afraid and another when they’re sad.

So what about if they’re in love?

Well, that’s just it – research shows that love is a real thing that affects the brain in a particular way.

MRI studies of people who are thinking about someone they love passionately show big hits in the brain’s reward centers. This is different from when they think about a good friend, their mom, or their cat.

Specifically, they get a big rush from their dopaminergic system. Dopamine is the so-called “feel-good hormone,” and it’s released as a reward when you do something positive.

So scientists have shown that being passionately in love with someone and thinking about or interacting with them gives us a big rush.

Well, you don’t need an MRI machine of your own to see this in action. Instead, just look at the guy’s behavior. 

Does he seem way happier with you than with other people or on his own? It’s possible that he’s getting a huge hit of dopamine from just being near you, and that shows his secret feelings for you.

5) He can read your mind.

If you’ve never had this kind of connection with a guy, it can be hard to believe. 

But if you have, you know how thrilling it can be when he just looks at you and seems to know exactly what you’re thinking.

Does this mean he has some sort of psychic love energy?

Actually, it kind of does!

Researchers looking inside the brain have again found something really interesting about how humans work.

They’ve discovered specialized brain cells called mirror neurons that do some pretty incredible things. 

These little cells spring into action when we copy another person’s actions or just think about copying them. They also get a workout when we predict what other people will do and how they’ll react.

Researchers have found that the closer a person feels to someone else, the more accurately they’re able to predict their actions and responses.

What’s happening is that their mirror neurons seem to have more experience with that person, and therefore, they can predict them better.

So if a guy seems to know what you’re going to do even before you do, this is a clue that he’s secretly got deep feelings for you.

6) He remembers everything.

Our last clue that a guy is secretly smitten is that he remembers every little thing you say and do.

He’s not going to pay that much attention to anyone he’s not totally gaga for, and psychology proves it.

Research into the memory of infatuated people shows that they’re intensely focused on their beloveds.

They’re able to remember things that relate to the objects of their hearts’ desires far better than anything else. So, if your guy has every little detail tucked away in his memory, ask yourself why.

The answer is probably what you suspected all along!

Final words

These six signs a man secretly thinks you’re “the one” according to psychology are elementary, my dear reader.

They’re the best clues you have to find out what’s going on inside a man’s head and his heart.