7 signs a man is just telling you what you want to hear, but doesn’t really mean it

Tina Fey by Tina Fey | June 28, 2024, 8:29 pm

Hey, let’s dive into something we’ve all encountered—a guy telling you everything you want to hear, but not really meaning a word of it. It’s frustrating, right?

The tricky part is, these situations aren’t always easy to spot. You want to believe him, don’t you? But sometimes, those sweet words are just empty promises.

Through years of dissecting relationships and human behavior, I’ve learned a thing or two about spotting these situations.

So, brace yourself because I’m about to share 7 signs that the guy in your life might be pulling the wool over your eyes.

1) He’s always agreeing with you

We all appreciate being on the same wavelength with someone, right? It’s comforting to feel understood. But here’s the thing—it’s not always as genuine as it seems.

When a guy is constantly agreeing with everything you say, it could be a sign that he’s just telling you what you want to hear.

Now, don’t get me wrong, having a partner who supports your ideas and values is fantastic. But it’s a bit suspicious when there’s never any room for disagreement or discussion.

Healthy relationships thrive on a mix of agreements and disagreements. It’s through these differences that we grow, learn more about each other, and strengthen our connection.

2) He’s overly secretive

Now this might seem a bit counterintuitive, but stay with me. When a man is just telling you what you want to hear, he often becomes overly secretive.

You might think, if he’s saying all the right things, why would he need to hide anything?

But truth be told—someone who’s not being sincere usually has something to conceal.

He might avoid certain topics, be vague about his past, or even dodge questions about his day. If he’s consistently secretive, it may be because he’s trying to maintain a facade.

Remember, honesty and openness are key in any relationship. If he’s hiding things from you, it could be a red flag that he’s not as genuine as he seems.

3) He avoids future talk

In any relationship that’s moving forward, discussing the future is pretty standard. It’s a sign of commitment, shared aspirations, and a mutual desire to stick together.

But when a guy is just feeding you lines, he often dodges these conversations about the future.

For instance, if he’s always avoiding topics like meeting the family, moving in together, or even just planning a vacation a few months ahead, it could be a red flag that his investment in the relationship isn’t as deep as he’s making it out to be.

In my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I talk about the importance of open communication and future planning in a healthy relationship.

Avoiding future talk could be his way of keeping things casual. It’s easy to say nice things in the moment, but a reluctance to commit to future plans can tell you a lot about his real intentions.

Keep an eye out for this red flag. It might save you from investing more time and emotions into a relationship that’s not going anywhere.

4) His actions don’t align with his words

As they say, actions speak louder than words. And nowhere is this truer than in relationships. If a man is just telling you what you want to hear, his actions will often contradict his words.

For example, he might tell you that you’re his priority, yet he’s always too busy to spend time with you. Or he might promise to change a habit that bothers you, but never actually makes an effort to do so.

As Mark Twain once said, “Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.”

This quote resonates with me because it’s so accurate when it comes to spotting insincerity. If his actions don’t match his words, it’s likely he’s not being genuine.

Remember, anyone can say the right things. But if his actions aren’t reflecting those sweet words, then it’s time to question whether he really means what he’s saying.

5) He’s a master of deflection

Ever found yourself in a situation where you’re trying to have a serious talk with him, and suddenly the conversation veers off course? If so, you might be dealing with a pro at deflection.

Deflection is a common tactic used by folks who are just telling you what you want to hear. Instead of tackling the issue head-on, he’ll skillfully steer the conversation in a different direction or turn it back around on you.

I’ve run into this scenario more times than I can count. It’s beyond frustrating and often leaves you feeling like your concerns aren’t being heard. It’s a convenient way for him to dodge tricky discussions or skirt around questions he’d rather not answer.

If he’s consistently deflecting instead of diving into meaningful conversations, it’s a telltale sign that his sincerity might be lacking.

Keep an eye out for this subtle yet significant behavior—it’s a strong indicator of someone who isn’t being entirely upfront with you.

6) He’s vague about his feelings

Emotional clarity is the foundation of any strong and healthy relationship. But when a man is just telling you what you want to hear, he tends to avoid being clear about his feelings.

If he’s always vague when it comes to expressing his emotions or discussing feelings, it could be a major red flag. It might mean he’s not genuinely invested or he’s simply saying things to keep you around.

Oscar Wilde once said, “A man who does not think for himself does not think at all.”

This quote hits home for me because I believe in the power of self-expression, especially in relationships.

If you notice this trait in your man, don’t ignore it. It’s crucial to have clarity about where you both stand emotionally in your relationship.

For more insights and advice like this, feel free to connect with me on my Facebook page. You can get all my latest articles and thoughts right in your feed. Here’s the link: Tina Fey’s Love Connection. Looking forward to connecting with you there!

7) His apologies lack sincerity

We all mess up from time to time. It’s part of being human.

But what really counts is how we own up to our mistakes and try to make things right. When a guy is just telling you what you want to hear, his apologies often come off as insincere.

Sure, he might say sorry, but does he really mean it? Does he show genuine regret? Does he make an effort to avoid making the same mistakes again, or is it just empty words?

A real apology goes beyond a simple “I’m sorry.” It involves acknowledging the mistake, understanding how it affected you, and taking concrete steps to fix things.

If his apologies feel hollow and he keeps making the same blunders, it might be a sign that he’s not as invested in your feelings as he should be. Genuine remorse isn’t just about words; it’s about actions.

Hear their words, listen to their actions

When someone tells you exactly what you want to hear, it might give you a temporary boost, but it’s crucial to recognize that true connection thrives on sincerity and authenticity.

These signs serve as valuable pointers to help you gauge whether a man is genuinely invested in you or just feeding you lines.

However, it’s important to acknowledge that every individual and every relationship is unique. Ultimately, trust your instincts and make choices that align with your needs and values.

As we wrap up our discussion, I’d like to share a video that adds depth to our topic. In this video, Justin Brown dives into the intricacies of finding a life partner, drawing from his own experiences and insights.

I believe this video will offer you additional perspectives to navigate your relationship journey with confidence.

YouTube video

Remember, life is a journey of growth and discovery. Embrace every step with courage, curiosity, and compassion.

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