Have you ever noticed certain men who just seem to struggle with the basics of self-care?

It’s more than missing a gym day or skipping a shower—it goes deeper, revealing a pattern of neglect in how they manage their physical, mental, and emotional well-being.

According to psychology, there are clear signs that a man doesn’t truly know how to take care of himself, and these can impact every area of his life.

If you’ve ever wondered what those signs look like, or if you’re concerned someone you know might be slipping, here are 9 revealing behaviors to watch for:

1) Neglects personal hygiene

Personal hygiene isn’t just about looking presentable, it’s a reflection of how a person values their health and well-being.

When a man neglects his personal hygiene, it can be a clear sign that he doesn’t truly know how to take care of himself.

You might notice that he often smells bad, or that he doesn’t shower regularly. He may not brush his teeth daily, or rarely changes his clothes.

His living space might be in constant disarray with dirty dishes piling up and laundry left undone.

In severe cases, this neglect can lead to health issues such as skin infections or dental problems.

2) Struggles with emotional regulation

Emotional regulation is all about being able to manage and control your emotions in a healthy way.

It’s about experiencing emotions, understanding them, and then letting them go.

When a man doesn’t know how to take care of himself, he might struggle with emotional regulation.

You might notice that he gets angry or upset easily, or that he reacts impulsively to situations without thinking things through.

He might also have a hard time dealing with negative feelings such as sadness or anxiety.

Instead of finding ways to cope with these emotions in a healthy way, he may resort to unhealthy behaviors such as substance abuse or excessive eating.

Underlying these behaviors could be unresolved personal issues or traumas that need to be addressed for him to start taking better care of himself.

3) Overly independent

While being independent is generally considered a positive trait, there can be such a thing as being too independent.

This might seem contradictory, but let me explain.

A man who is overly independent often refuses to seek help, even when he clearly needs it.

He might stubbornly try to solve problems on his own, even when it’s clear he could use some guidance or assistance.

He may refrain from seeing a doctor when he’s unwell, or refuse to seek advice when dealing with challenging situations.

This can lead to unnecessary struggles and prolonged suffering.

Ironically, this extreme form of independence signals a lack of self-care.

It suggests that he doesn’t value his own well-being enough to seek help when needed.

4) Constant self-sabotage

It’s heartbreaking to see, but a clear sign of a man who doesn’t know how to take care of himself is constant self-sabotage.

You can see it in the way he perpetually makes poor decisions, even when he knows better.

It’s like he’s driving his life into the ground and he can’t, or won’t, hit the brakes.

He might:

• Choose the wrong partners
• Take up habits he knows are destructive
• Repeatedly put himself in situations that are clearly detrimental to his health and happiness

This self-destructive pattern is a silent, sometimes unconscious, cry for help.

5) Avoids vulnerability

We’re all human, and being human means we’re not always strong. We have our weaknesses, our fears, and our insecurities.

And that’s perfectly okay!

For a man who doesn’t know how to take care of himself, showing vulnerability can be a terrifying concept.

He might always put on a brave face, pretending that nothing ever affects him.

He may hide his true feelings and emotions behind a wall of stoicism or indifference.

But deep down, he may be struggling. He may be hurting.

6) Procrastinates on important tasks

We’ve all been there, right?

The to-do list is growing, deadlines are looming, but somehow, we find ourselves scrolling through social media or binge-watching a TV show.

For a man who doesn’t truly know how to take care of himself, procrastination could be a regular habit.

He might constantly put off important tasks, whether it’s:

• Paying bills
• Scheduling doctor’s appointments
• Doing the laundry

While we all procrastinate from time to time, chronic procrastination can lead to added stress and anxiety.

It can also result in missed opportunities and potential consequences that could have been avoided.

7) Has a questionable diet

You are what you eat, right?

Well, if a man’s diet mostly consists of fast food, processed snacks, and sugary beverages, then he might just be a cheeseburger!

Jokes aside, a poor diet is a clear sign that a man doesn’t know how to take care of himself.

He may favor convenience and taste over nutritional value, regularly indulging in foods that are high in fat, sugar, and salt.

While it’s completely fine to enjoy these foods occasionally, relying on them as main food sources can lead to health issues like obesity, heart disease, and diabetes.

Taking care of yourself means fueling your body with the right nutrients it needs to function properly. 

8) Avoids responsibility

Let’s face it: life is full of responsibilities.

From paying bills to maintaining relationships, there’s a lot that we have to juggle—and it’s time for every man to step up to the plate!

A man who doesn’t know how to take care of himself often avoids responsibility.

He may be:

• Very unreliable
• Consistently breaking promises
• Failing to meet commitments

He might blame others for his mistakes, never seeming to take accountability for his own actions or simply avoiding situations where he may be held responsible.

9) Neglects mental health

One of the most important signs that a man doesn’t truly know how to take care of himself is if he neglects his mental health.

Mental health is just as important as physical health, yet it is often overlooked.

A man might downplay feelings of anxiety or depression, refusing to acknowledge them or seek help.

He may ignore signs of extreme stress or burnout, pushing through without giving himself a break.

He might also isolate himself during tough times, cutting off from friends and family who can offer support.

Taking care of oneself means taking care of one’s mental health too. 

Reflection and final thoughts

Recognizing these 9 signs is the first step toward understanding when a man might be struggling with self-care.

Whether it’s a friend, a partner, or even yourself, these behaviors can point to deeper issues that need attention.

The good news? Self-care is a skill that can be learned and developed over time.

By identifying these patterns, you can take action to improve your well-being or offer support to someone who needs it.

Taking care of yourself isn’t just about looking good—it’s about living a healthier, happier life.

It’s worth starting today because real self-care changes everything!