10 secret habits of highly perceptive people who rarely fall for manipulation
Have you ever wondered how the sharpest amongst us seem to effortlessly dodge the manipulators and schemers?
It may feel like they were born with a badass gene that helps them sidestep the complexities of human interaction that many of us mere mortals fall foul of.
Yet in reality, these individuals are skilled at reading between the lines and so are less likely to fall victim.
By following certain secret habits of theirs, you too can sharpen your perception and better protect yourself.
After all, knowledge is power when it comes to combatting those who seek to take advantage.
1) They take their time to get to know people
This has two very positive side effects.
Firstly, it helps us to avoid making snap judgments.
First impressions come so quickly that we don’t give them much thought. In fact, research suggests it happens in less than the blink of an eye.
But we can override the urge to jump to conclusions by understanding our natural biases.
Reserving opinions until they have enough information means highly perceptive people are less likely to get it wrong and have to backtrack.
But taking it slowly to form concrete thoughts on someone also offers an extra layer of protection.
They don’t rush into connections. They allow the time needed for trust to slowly build before giving away too much of themselves.
It’s about consciously not over-exposing yourself rather than about being guarded. Vulnerability is important after all, but it should be a process.
Whilst this can demand a certain amount of control over our natural instincts, that certainly doesn’t mean they disregard them. As we’re about to see, intuition plays its part.
2) They trust their instincts
In many ways, manipulators rely on creating self-doubt.
That’s why above all, highly perceptive people trust themselves and their judgment, making it difficult for manipulators to sway their opinions or actions.
Part of this may be down to honed life skills, yet another aspect is listening to their gut feelings.
We often think of that “knowing” you get in the pit of your stomach as something mystical, and so we may dismiss it as illogical.
But think again.
The science shows that intuition is way more practical than that, as summed up by the Literary Hub.
“Many studies in psychology tell us that intuition is a very real process where the brain makes use of past experiences, along with internal signals and cues from the environment, to help us make a decision. This decision happens so quickly that it doesn’t register with our conscious mind.”
Strong intuition is your subconscious feeding you previously acquired knowledge that you have yet to articulate.
That’s why paying closer attention to these silent signals can help you get a better grasp of a situation.
3) They listen more than they speak
Here’s an important distinction…
It’s not about being shy or naturally quiet.
Neither is it just about simply staying silent. You can say pretty much nothing and still be a bad listener.
What we’re actually talking about is the quality of listening and seeing it as an active rather than passive thing to do.
That means still giving as much attention to the conversation even if you’re not the one doing the talking.
And that’s a lot harder than we often think. The mind can very quickly drift.
Before you know it, your thoughts are on what you’ll eat for dinner later or what time the last train leaves.
Keeping your full focus on what someone is saying helps you to read between the lines and gain a better grasp of who they are.
Being able to do this relies heavily on the next habit on our list.
4) They pay attention
It probably comes as very little surprise that in order to be highly perceptive, it’s important to pay attention.
Slick observation skills mean that you are detail-oriented and so you don’t miss even the smallest of telltale cues and clues.
The most perceptive pick up on micro-facial expressions that can hint at emotions below the surface.
They analyze body language to determine whether someone is at ease or uncomfortable, being honest or trying to hide something.
People who are really good at reading the room are often just good at paying attention to what is really going on around them.
This eye for detail also makes you more likely to pick up on inconsistencies and be on alert for manipulation.
5) They think critically
This helps them connect the dots.
It’s not just about problem-solving and understanding puzzles, it goes for figuring out other people too.
They are able to see patterns and make connections, and this can be such a lifeline when sniffing out manipulators.
They see when things don’t quite add up because they are prepared to question information, evaluate sources, and consider perspectives they have yet to mull over.
6) They cultivate emotional intelligence
EQ is often a superpower that goes unnoticed.
That’s because emotional intelligence not only helps us to better understand ourselves, it also gives us insights into what makes other people tick.
When someone tries to pull your strings you are less inclined to have a knee-jerk emotional reaction, because self-awareness gives you greater control over yourself.
A manipulator won’t get the rise they were hoping for because you can keep calm under pressure.
With powerful empathy, you understand others’ motives, and so find it easier to spot those with bad intentions.
7) They use their communication skills to their advantage
If you struggle to express yourself, you are more likely to become a victim of manipulation.
It’s not enough to just recognize poor behavior around us, we have to be able to protect ourselves from it too.
That means setting healthy boundaries and making them clear to others. This requires the use of communication skills.
It’s these that ensure someone can:
- Express their thoughts and feelings comfortably and openly
- Be prepared to ask important and clarifying questions
- Have the skill to navigate potentially awkward or confronting situations and avoid misunderstandings
8) They are sensitive
Increased sensitivity can feel like an equal parts blessing and curse, as any highly sensitive person will tell you.
I often think of it much the same way as physical pain. It’s understandably unpleasant, and sometimes almost unbearable. Yet it’s still incredibly useful.
The whole biological function of feeling is for us to interpret the messages we are being sent.
Some of those are emotional.
It brings to mind a meme I once saw that said:
“Maybe I’m not too sensitive, maybe you’re just a dickhead.”
It’s an indelicate way of putting it, but it brings up a very valid point.
When someone is very attuned to their emotions, they can feel things deeply.
If you are prepared to take note of it, this will give you a lower tolerance level for people who display hurtful behaviors.
Manipulative actions don’t fly below the radar when you have an astutely tuned emotional antenna.
9) They are like an elephant and they never forget
I’m not talking about holding grudges here. I mean in a very practical way that they have a good memory.
The strength of our recall isn’t just about reciting memorized dates and facts. In an evolutionary sense, memory helps us to survive by recognizing patterns. And of course, in order to spot something you have to remember it first.
It’s also a very useful social tool as well as an academic one.
You can more easily cross-check facts and information about people when you actually remember what they say.
You’re less likely to be gaslit by someone attempting to twist the facts when you have an excellent memory that you know you can rely on.
10) They learn from their experiences
Here’s the good news if you’ve ever fallen foul of manipulation. And hey, isn’t that most of us at some time or another?!
Experience is how we learn and grow. That’s how we improve and get better at predicting outcomes.
People who seem to be great judges of character may have learned the hard way who they can and can’t trust.
Sometimes it’s a case of once bitten and twice shy.
Rather than become bitter or cynical about past relationships that proved to be unhealthy or even toxic, highly perceptive people use this valuable information to become smarter.
That way, they know the warning signs next time around.
Whilst none of us enjoy having unpleasant experiences under our belt, the smartest amongst us use it as fuel for greater wisdom in the future.