Ever been told to “put yourself first,” only to feel a pang of guilt or wonder if it’s selfish advice?

The truth is, putting yourself first isn’t selfish—it’s essential, and there are times in life when it’s the healthiest thing you can do.

Imagine trying to drive a car with an empty gas tank; it wouldn’t get you very far.

The same goes for our emotional and mental energy.

If we’re constantly giving to others without ever refilling our own reserves, we’ll end up running on fumes.

In this article, we’re diving into nine scenarios where psychology suggests it’s not only okay but actually crucial to prioritize yourself. These are the moments when taking a backseat would do more harm than good.

So, let’s explore when and why “me first” isn’t just a good option—it’s a necessity!

1) When you’re constantly feeling drained

It’s not uncommon to feel mentally or physically drained from time to time.

However, when this feeling becomes constant, it’s a clear sign that something needs to change.

Psychology suggests that persistent feelings of exhaustion can be a symptom of overly investing in others and neglecting your own needs. This could be due to:

• A demanding job
• A stressful relationship
• Trying to keep up with the daily grind

Perhaps you’re always the one going above and beyond at work, or you’re always available for a friend in need, even when it means sacrificing your own rest and relaxation.

Regardless of the scenario, when you constantly feel drained, it’s time to reassess your priorities and consider putting yourself first.

Taking time for self-care isn’t selfish; it’s necessary for your overall well-being and mental health.

2) When you’re always the peacemaker

Have you ever found yourself in the middle of conflict, trying to calm things down and make peace, even when it’s not your fight?

Perhaps you’re continually mediating between family members, friends, or colleagues, and it’s starting to take a toll on your well-being.

Being the peacemaker can be exhausting. It can lead to feelings of stress, anxiety, and even resentment towards those who seem to thrive on drama.

While maintaining harmony is commendable, it’s crucial to understand that you are not responsible for other people’s actions or emotions.

You cannot control how they act or react, but you can control how much of your energy you allow these situations to consume.

Prioritize your peace over maintaining peace among others. 

3) When saying ‘yes’ feels like a burden

We’ve all been there: someone asks a favor or invites us to an event, and even though we’re not really up for it, we say ‘yes’. We often do this out of:

• Obligation
• Fear of disappointing others
• Habit

However, constantly agreeing to things you don’t want to do can lead to feelings of resentment and burnout. Over time, you might find yourself overwhelmed by commitments you never wanted to make in the first place.

In these situations, it’s actually more beneficial to say ‘no’.

While it might feel uncomfortable at first, setting boundaries is essential for your mental health and well-being.

You have the right to decline invitations or requests that don’t align with your needs or interests.

Next time you feel that familiar dread when asked for a favor, consider whether it’s a scenario where you should put yourself first. 

4) When you’re in a toxic relationship

This is a tough one to admit, but sometimes, the people we love or care about can cause us the most harm.

In fact, being in a toxic relationship is incredibly damaging to your mental and emotional health, whether it’s:

• A romantic partner
• A friend
• A family member

In these relationships, you might constantly feel drained, belittled, or manipulated. You might find that you’re always walking on eggshells, fearful of their reactions. You might start doubting your worth and questioning your own sanity.

It’s important to recognize that no matter how much you care about this person, you cannot change them.

You are not responsible for their happiness or their actions. And it’s certainly not your job to endure their toxicity.

In these scenarios, you need to put yourself first, as painful as it may be.

5) When you’re neglecting your own dreams

It’s easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of life, helping others achieve their goals, and forgetting about our own dreams.

Maybe you’ve been working a job you don’t love to support your family, or you’ve put off going back to school because your partner wasn’t ready for the change.

While these sacrifices often come from a place of love and responsibility, they can also lead to feelings of regret and resentment over time.

It’s important to remember that your dreams matter, too. It’s not selfish to want to pursue your passions or to work towards your own goals.

In fact, it’s necessary for your personal growth and happiness.

6) When you’re always the listener

We all have that friend or family member who tends to dominate conversations:

• Sharing their latest life updates
• Venting about their problems
• Talking about their day

And while being a good listener is a valuable trait, it can feel draining when the conversation is always one-sided.

Maybe you’ve found yourself nodding along, offering advice or comfort, but rarely getting the chance to share your own feelings or experiences. Perhaps you’ve started to feel more like a therapist than a friend.

Remember, communication should be a two-way street. Your thoughts, feelings, and experiences are just as important and deserve to be heard.

7) When you’re craving some ‘me time’

Ever had one of those days where all you want to do is curl up with a good book, binge-watch your favorite show, or take a leisurely walk in the park?

But just as you’re about to kick back and relax, a friend calls with a crisis, or your partner wants to go out.

While it’s great to be there for others, it’s equally important to be there for yourself.

‘Me time’ isn’t just a luxury – it’s a necessity for our mental well-being. It allows us to recharge, reflect, and simply enjoy our own company.

8) When you’re not taking care of your health

This one’s a no-brainer, but it’s surprising how many of us neglect our physical health in the hustle and bustle of life. For example:

• Skipping meals because you’re too busy
• Not getting enough sleep because you’re working late
• Neglecting medical appointments because you don’t have time 

Here’s the hard truth: if you don’t take care of your health, everything else in your life suffers.

You can’t perform at your best when you’re running on empty. And ignoring health issues doesn’t make them go away – it usually makes them worse.

Yes, it takes time and effort, but your health is worth it. And remember – without good health, everything else is meaningless. 

9) When you’re not loving yourself

At the end of the day, the most vital scenario in which you should always put yourself first is when it comes to loving and accepting who you are.

We often extend compassion, understanding, and forgiveness to others, but forget to offer the same kindness to ourselves.

We’re quick to judge our mistakes, compare ourselves to others, and dismiss our own needs.

Remember: You are deserving of love and care, just as much as anyone else.

It’s not selfish or arrogant to love yourself. It’s a necessary foundation for your overall well-being and happiness.

So be gentle with yourself. Celebrate your accomplishments, big or small. Forgive yourself for your mistakes and learn from them instead of dwelling on them.

In conclusion

Prioritizing yourself isn’t just a nice idea—it’s a powerful way to build resilience, protect your well-being, and show up fully for the people and things that matter most.

When you put yourself first in these key scenarios, you’re not only investing in your happiness but creating healthier boundaries that benefit everyone around you.

Next time you’re faced with one of these moments, remember: taking care of yourself isn’t just wise; it’s essential. After all, when your own tank is full, you’re better equipped to fuel the journey ahead.