If you’ve survived these 8 specific experiences, you’ve developed a type of emotional intelligence that can’t be taught—only earned
When life throws you a curveball, you either duck or catch it. If you’ve caught a few, you know the drill.
It’s not just about surviving these experiences, but learning from them.
Having been through the wringer myself, I can tell you this: surviving certain experiences doesn’t just make you resilient.
It gives you a kind of emotional intelligence that’s priceless—and it can’t be taught in any school or found in any book.
Only earned.
It’s this unique brand of emotional intelligence that sets some people apart. It allows them to navigate life with an unrivaled sense of empathy and understanding.
In this article, we’re going to talk about these specific experiences that can shape you into an emotional maestro.
And trust me, once you’ve been through these, you’ll look at the world in a whole new light.
1) Surviving a major loss
Ever had your heart shattered into a million pieces? I’m not just talking about heartbreaks or break-ups.
It could be the loss of a loved one, a job, or even a dream you’ve held onto for years.
These experiences can be soul-crushing, and they leave you feeling like you’re in a dark tunnel with no end in sight.
However, if you’ve survived such a loss, you’ve earned a badge of emotional intelligence that’s hard to match.
Why? Because when you experience a devastating loss, you learn to navigate the murky waters of grief, despair, and heartache.
You learn to be patient with yourself as you heal and rebuild. But most importantly, you develop an understanding of what it means to truly suffer.
This emotional intelligence is more than just understanding emotions—it’s about experiencing them at their rawest and still coming out on the other side.
And once you’ve done that, your ability to empathize with others who are going through similar situations skyrockets.
You can offer them genuine support and comfort because you’ve been there yourself.
Simply put, surviving a major loss makes you emotionally wise beyond your years.
2) Coming out of a toxic relationship
I’ve been there. Stuck in a relationship that was more draining than fulfilling.
It felt like I was walking on eggshells, constantly on edge, trying to keep the peace at the cost of my own happiness.
When you’re in a toxic relationship, it feels like you’re in a constant state of emotional turmoil.
But when you finally break free, the relief is indescribable.
Surviving a toxic relationship teaches you to recognize emotional manipulation and gaslighting.
It forces you to stand up for yourself and assert your boundaries, even when it’s difficult. In essence, it makes you emotionally stronger and more attuned to your own needs and feelings.
Now, I can spot the signs of a toxic relationship from a mile away—not just in my life, but in others’ too.
I can offer guidance based on my experience and provide support to those who need it.
This type of emotional intelligence is hard-earned, but once acquired, it’s a powerful tool for navigating relationships and protecting your emotional wellbeing.
3) Living in a different culture
Immersing yourself in a foreign culture can be overwhelming, yet profoundly enlightening. It’s like stepping into a whole new world with unfamiliar customs, languages, and ways of life.
A study found that people who have lived abroad are likely to be more creative and open-minded.
This is because living in a different culture forces you to adapt and understand perspectives that are vastly different from your own.
By experiencing life from a different cultural lens, you develop an enhanced level of emotional intelligence.
You learn to respect and appreciate diversity, which makes you more empathetic and understanding of others’ experiences and emotions.
In essence, living in a foreign culture doesn’t just broaden your horizons—it deepens your emotional understanding too.
4) Overcoming a major failure

Failure is tough. It bruises your ego, shakes your confidence, and leaves you questioning your abilities.
But if you’ve faced a major failure and bounced back, you’ve earned a type of emotional intelligence that’s invaluable.
Overcoming failure teaches you resilience. It forces you to confront your shortcomings, learn from your mistakes, and push forward despite the odds.
It shows you that failure isn’t the end of the road but a stepping stone to success.
But the most significant lesson it teaches? Empathy.
When you’ve tasted the bitterness of failure, you understand how it feels to be at the bottom.
You understand the struggle, the disappointment, and the courage it takes to get back up.
This understanding equips you with deep emotional intelligence, enabling you to connect with others on a whole new level.
Yes, failure is tough—but the emotional intelligence it imparts is worth its weight in gold.
5) Battling a health crisis
If you’ve ever battled a health crisis, you’ll know what I mean when I say it changes you.
I’ve been there, fighting an illness that seemed to consume my entire life. It was draining, both physically and emotionally.
But coming out of it, I realized I had grown in ways I could never have imagined.
I became more patient, understanding the importance of taking one day at a time. I learned to value my health and not take it for granted.
What’s more, my emotional intelligence deepened. I learned to recognize and manage my emotions during periods of stress and uncertainty.
I also became more attuned to others’ feelings, especially those going through similar struggles.
In essence, battling a health crisis gave me a new perspective on life and emotions.
It’s an experience that’s challenging to go through but incredibly enlightening in terms of emotional growth.
6) Being alone for an extended period
Society often paints solitude as something to avoid. But if you’ve spent a significant amount of time alone, you know that it can be quite the opposite.
It’s not just about being comfortable in your own company; it’s about self-discovery and emotional growth.
Being alone gives you the time and space to reflect on your emotions, your reactions, your strengths, and your weaknesses.
It pushes you to confront and understand parts of yourself that you might otherwise overlook in the hustle and bustle of everyday life.
In doing so, it equips you with a keen sense of self-awareness—an essential component of emotional intelligence.
You become more attuned to your emotions and better able to manage them.
While being alone might seem daunting to some, it’s actually a powerful opportunity for emotional growth and self-discovery.
7) Going through financial hardship
Money troubles can be incredibly stressful.
The constant worry over bills, debt, and making ends meet can take a toll on your mental and emotional wellbeing.
But if you’ve weathered a financial storm, you’ve likely developed a unique kind of emotional intelligence.
You understand the stress and anxiety that come with financial instability, and you know what it’s like to make tough decisions and sacrifices.
This understanding allows you to empathize with others going through similar situations.
You can offer support and advice based on your own experiences, showing empathy and understanding that only come from having been there yourself.
Experiencing financial hardship isn’t pleasant, but the emotional intelligence you gain from it is invaluable.
8) Experiencing rejection
Rejection hurts. It’s a blow to your self-esteem and can often leave you questioning your worth.
But if you’ve faced rejection and bounced back, you’ve developed an emotional intelligence that sets you apart.
Rejection teaches you resilience and perseverance.
It forces you to reevaluate your goals and strategies, and it fosters a deep understanding of disappointment and how to cope with it.
This emotional wisdom is crucial in navigating life’s ups and downs, making you stronger and more empathetic.
While rejection may sting, the emotional growth you experience as a result is truly priceless.
Emotional intelligence: The currency of life
If you’ve made it this far, you’ll likely agree that life’s challenges aren’t just obstacles. They’re opportunities for growth and emotional development.
Emotional intelligence isn’t something you can pick up from a textbook or a lecture.
It’s a product of life experiences, both good and bad. And once you’ve earned it, it transforms your relationships, your outlook, and your understanding of yourself and others.
Albert Einstein once said, “The true sign of intelligence is not knowledge but imagination.”
In a similar vein, the real measure of emotional intelligence isn’t just about identifying emotions—it’s about empathizing, understanding, and navigating them.
If you’ve been through these eight experiences, know that you’ve not only survived—you’ve thrived.
You’ve developed an emotional intelligence that can’t be taught—only earned.
And that, my friend, is something truly invaluable.
Take a moment to reflect on your journey, appreciate your growth, and remember: every experience is a stepping stone towards greater emotional understanding.
