Remember how your grandma used to say, “In my day, things were different”? Well, she wasn’t wrong. Times have certainly changed.

Here’s a scenario.

You’re at a family dinner, and your boomer parents drop a comment that seems out of place, maybe even a little offensive. But before you roll your eyes or gear up for a debate, take a pause.

It’s easy to mistake these comments as deliberate provocation or an attempt to start a fight. But in reality, it’s more likely that they genuinely don’t understand what’s changed.

We’ve compiled a list of seven things your boomer parents might say at family dinner that may seem confrontational but are more likely signs of their genuine confusion about the changes that have occurred in their lifetime.

1) “Why are you always on that phone?”

I’m sure we’ve all heard this one, right?

You’re at the dinner table, your phone buzzes with a notification, and as you reach to check it, your parents hit you with the good ol’ “Why are you always on that phone?” line.

It’s easy to interpret this as an attack on your habits. But hold on, there’s another way to look at it.

Your boomer parents grew up in an era where the concept of being constantly connected was non-existent. Back in their day, communication was limited to face-to-face interaction, letters or landline phone calls.

The idea of having a mini-computer in your pocket that keeps you constantly connected to the world is still somewhat alien to them.

Instead of getting defensive, try explaining how integral smartphones have become in our lives. Whether it’s for work, staying updated with world events, or simply staying connected with friends, these devices have become a significant part of our everyday routines.

2) “Back in my day, we didn’t need all these gadgets.”

Ah, the classic “back in my day” line. Does this sound familiar?

I remember a family dinner where my dad looked at my smartwatch and said, “Back in my day, we didn’t need all these gadgets. A simple wristwatch was enough.”

I could have taken offense, viewed it as a critique of my lifestyle. But instead, I chose to see it from his perspective.

He grew up in a time when technology was not as pervasive as it is now. For him, a watch was simply a tool to tell time, not a device to track heart rate, count steps or receive text messages.

So instead of brushing off his comment, I took the time to explain how the smartwatch helps me stay healthy by tracking my physical activity and heart health. Explaining its utilities, I could see him slowly beginning to understand its significance.

Sharing personal experiences can often lead to a better understanding and more open conversations.

3) “Why can’t you just get a stable job?”

This one hits close to home.

It was at a family gathering, amidst the clatter of cutlery and murmurs of conversation, when my mom casually asked, “Why can’t you just get a stable job?”

Ouch.

I’m a freelance writer, and I love what I do. But to my mom, the idea of not having a steady paycheck, health benefits, or the security that comes with a 9-to-5 job is simply bewildering.

She’s not trying to belittle my work. In her eyes, she’s worried about my future, my stability, my security. She grew up in an era where the norm was to stick with one secure job until retirement.

The concept of gig economy, freelancing or creating a start-up is unfamiliar territory for her.

So instead of feeling affronted, I explained the merits of freelancing—the flexibility it offers, the diverse projects I get to work on, and how it’s a viable career option in today’s digital age.

It’s important to remember that what may seem as criticism could often be concern veiled in misunderstanding. By sharing our experiences and perspectives, we can help bridge this generational gap.

4) “I don’t get why you’re into that social media stuff.”

Ever heard that line?

One evening, while scrolling through Instagram at the dinner table, my dad glanced over my shoulder and said, “I don’t get why you’re into that social media stuff.”

To him, the idea of sharing personal life updates with a virtual community of friends and followers was puzzling. His interactions were mostly limited to physical interactions, phone calls or letters. The concept of establishing and nurturing relationships online was foreign to him.

But remember this – it’s not a critique, it’s a gap in understanding.

So I took this opportunity to explain the significance of social media in today’s world. How it helps us stay connected with friends across the globe, enables us to share our experiences and even helps in professional networking.

Being open about our lifestyles and choices can foster understanding and build stronger connections. After all, it’s all about bridging generations and building bonds.

5) “Why are you always drinking that fancy coffee?”

Ever been hit with this question?

One Sunday brunch, as I was savoring my cold brew, my mom asked, “Why are you always drinking that fancy coffee? What happened to good old regular coffee?”

My mom grew up in an era where coffee was simply a hot, comforting drink prepared at home. The concept of spending $5 on a cup of coffee was simply bewildering to her.

The coffee culture has evolved drastically over the past few decades. In fact, specialty coffee makes up 47% of U.S. coffee cups and is considered the highest quality of coffee in the world.

So, instead of dismissing her comment, I explained to her the nuances of different types of coffee, the quality of the beans, and how the taste varies depending on the brewing method.

Understanding and empathy go a long way in bridging generational gaps. And who knows? Maybe your parents might develop a taste for that “fancy” coffee too!

6) “Why are you always so stressed?”

This question, though seemingly simple, carries a lot of weight.

At a recent family dinner, my dad noticed my restless demeanor and asked, “Why are you always so stressed?”

In his time, life was simpler—or so it seemed. The pressures of social media, the constant need to be ‘connected’, and the pace of modern life were unheard of. To him, our generation seems to be always on edge, always stressed.

But instead of taking offense or brushing it off, I decided to explain. I shared how the pressures today are different. The competition, the financial stress, the societal expectations—all add up.

It’s not about whose struggle is harder—it’s about acknowledging that each generation has its own set of challenges. By sharing our experiences and demonstrating empathy for each other’s struggles, we can foster deeper familial bonds and mutual respect.

7) “Why don’t you just settle down?”

This phrase is a classic.

During one of our family gatherings, my mom, seeing me juggle multiple things at once, sighed and said, “Why don’t you just settle down?”

To her, life was a series of milestones—get a job, get married, buy a house, start a family. But this linear narrative may not resonate with everyone anymore.

So I shared with her my perspective—that life is not a race to tick off milestones but an individual journey where each one of us has our own pace and path.

Remember, it’s not about changing their beliefs but about fostering understanding and acceptance of the varying life paths that exist today.

Closing thoughts

Recognizing these seven phrases is just the beginning of a fascinating journey. A journey of understanding, empathy, and connections that span generations.

The generation gap between us and our boomer parents is not a chasm that can’t be bridged. It’s a beautiful opportunity to share, learn, and grow together.

Navigating these generational differences is not always easy, but remember, the most rewarding journeys rarely are.

So be patient, be kind, and most importantly—be open to sharing and understanding the changing world we live in. After all, it’s these shared experiences that weave the beautiful tapestry of our familial bonds.

As we move forward in this ever-changing world, let’s ensure that no one gets left behind—not even our boomer parents.