If these 8 normal life events cause you instant panic, you’re not as secure as you think

Eliza Hartley by Eliza Hartley | October 9, 2025, 12:30 pm

We all like to think we’re pretty secure in ourselves, right? But sometimes, normal life events can cause us an unusual amount of panic, making us question just how secure we really are.

There’s a big difference between feeling a little nervous and experiencing full-blown panic. Normal life events can sometimes trigger these feelings, giving us a wake-up call about our level of security.

These events are a part of life, they happen to everyone. However, if you find yourself panicking at the mere thought of them, you might not be as secure as you believe.

And trust me, I’ve been there too. But recognizing these moments of panic was my first step towards addressing my insecurities.

In this article, we’re going to delve into these 8 everyday situations that might indicate that you’re not as secure as you think. And don’t worry, it’s not all bad news – we’ll also explore some ways to regain your confidence and security when these events occur.

1) Major life decisions

We all have to make big decisions in our lives. Choosing a career, deciding to move to a new city, getting married, or buying a house – these are all significant milestones.

But here’s the thing. While it’s natural to feel a bit nervous about these decisions, they shouldn’t cause you to go into full-blown panic mode.

If you find yourself hyperventilating at the thought of making a big decision, it’s likely a sign that you’re not as secure as you think.

Remember, it’s okay to ask for advice and weigh your options. But ultimately, the decision is yours to make.

No one has all the answers, and that’s okay. We’re all just figuring things out as we go along. But if you’re constantly looking for others’ approval or reassurance before making major life decisions, it could indicate that you’re not quite as secure in yourself as you might think.

2) Public speaking

Let’s face it, public speaking can be downright terrifying. I remember the first time I had to give a presentation to a large crowd. My heart was pounding, my hands were shaking, and I was pretty sure I was going to forget everything I had prepared.

But guess what? While feeling a little anxious before a presentation is completely normal, experiencing extreme panic is not.

If you find yourself losing sleep, having panic attacks, or obsessing over every single detail before a presentation, it may indicate that you’re not as secure as you think.

I used to dread public speaking. I would worry about what people thought of me, whether I was saying the right things, and if I was good enough compared to other speakers.

But once I realized that those fears stemmed from my own insecurities, I began working on improving my self-confidence and gradually, public speaking became less daunting.

3) Meeting new people

Meeting new people is a part of life. Whether it’s at work, at a social gathering, or even on a plane, we’re constantly introduced to new faces.

But did you know that a study published in the Journal of Experimental Psychology found that people are actually better at remembering faces of people from their own race than those from different races?

This is known as the “cross-race effect“, and it’s thought to be because we have more experience recognizing features of faces from our own race.

If the thought of meeting new people sends you into a state of panic, it’s likely a sign that you’re not as secure as you think.

It’s normal to feel a bit anxious when making a new acquaintance, but if you’re constantly worrying about saying the wrong thing or making a bad impression, it indicates an underlying issue of insecurity.

4) Making mistakes

Nobody likes to make mistakes. But let’s face it, we all do. It’s part of being human.

However, if the thought of making a mistake causes you instant panic, it’s likely a sign that you’re not as secure as you think.

Mistakes are learning opportunities. They’re a chance for growth and improvement. But if your fear of making a mistake is paralyzing you or causing extreme anxiety, it might mean that you’re too focused on being perfect.

Perfection is an impossible standard to live up to. And the constant pressure to be perfect can take a toll on your mental health and overall well-being.

Everyone messes up from time to time. It’s okay to make mistakes. It’s how we learn and grow. But if the fear of making a mistake is causing you undue stress, it could be a sign that you need to work on becoming more secure in yourself and your abilities.

5) Expressing your feelings

Expressing our feelings is a fundamental part of being human. It’s how we connect with others, build relationships, and navigate the world around us.

But for some of us, the thought of opening up and sharing our emotions can cause instant panic. This kind of reaction often stems from a place of insecurity.

It takes courage to be vulnerable, to let others see our true selves – flaws, fears and all. If expressing your feelings feels like an insurmountable task, it may be a sign that you’re not as secure as you think.

We all have a right to our feelings and sharing them doesn’t make us weak; on the contrary, it shows strength and authenticity. It’s okay if expressing your feelings is difficult for you right now.

Just know that it’s something that can be improved with time, patience, and practice.

6) Asking for help

I remember a time when I was assigned a project at work that I had no idea how to tackle. I spent sleepless nights trying to figure it out on my own, too afraid to ask for help.

But here’s the thing about asking for help – it’s not a sign of weakness. In fact, it takes courage to admit when we don’t know something and need assistance.

If the thought of asking for help causes you to panic, it might be a sign that you’re not as secure as you think. It could indicate that you’re afraid of appearing weak or incompetent, which often stems from insecurity.

So, if asking for help sends you into a spiral of panic, it might be worth exploring why that is and how you can become more comfortable with seeking assistance when you need it.

7) Receiving feedback

Feedback is a part of life. Whether it’s at work, school, or in our personal lives, we’re constantly receiving feedback from those around us.

However, if the thought of receiving feedback causes you to panic, it’s likely a sign that you’re not as secure as you think.

It’s natural to feel a bit defensive when someone critiques us. But if you find yourself feeling extremely anxious or upset over feedback, it could indicate an underlying issue of insecurity.

Remember, feedback is not meant to tear us down, but to help us grow and improve. It’s an opportunity for learning and development. 

8) Facing rejection

Rejection is a part of life. Whether it’s a job application, a romantic interest, or a personal project, we’ve all faced rejection at some point.

But if the thought of facing rejection causes you instant panic, it’s a clear sign that you’re not as secure as you think.

Rejection can sting, but it shouldn’t paralyze you with fear. It’s an opportunity to learn, grow, and become better.

And if you find that rejection sends you into a state of panic, it’s crucial to understand why and how to work towards becoming more secure in the face of rejection.

Final thoughts: Embrace the journey

The human mind is a complex, beautiful labyrinth filled with thoughts, emotions, and experiences. It’s what makes us unique and sets us apart.

When it comes to panic or anxiety over normal life events, it’s essential to remember that our reactions often say more about us than the events themselves.

In the words of psychologist Carl Rogers, “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”

This captures the essence of confronting our insecurities and fears. It’s only when we acknowledge these aspects of ourselves that we can begin the journey towards self-improvement.

If these normal life events cause you instant panic, it doesn’t mean you’re flawed or weak. Instead, it presents an opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

Embrace the journey. It’s not about being perfect or having everything figured out. It’s about learning, evolving, and becoming more secure in who you are.